Random thought to end the night

Is it weird that I think that guy...blue shirt..white pants...silver jacket...is kind of hot??? The hair is a little much but there's something yummy about him...it's gotta be his teeth...they're great. I love teeth....Nevermind me. I'm just tired.

Ha! Take that! Re: See other post first

Ah, Ha, Ha, Ha Stayin Alive

That's what I WOULD be listening to if I could find the external hard drive. It was right by the computer here, now it's not. Oh wait...I called Clint and I found it. Now my WinAmp won't play anything..it says I need a license to play these songs that I paid for...Now my iTunes won't come up. What's wrong with my computer???? Oh, I give up.

My workouts this week have been great! I need to get in my cardio tonight and I will be set!

Eating has been fine. A few issues have come up but I worked it out. Everything is under control as we speak. I just wish The Vitamin Shoppe would send me my stuff. GRRRRRR.....

Now, here's random rants for your entertainment:

• Muscle milk is gross. G-R-O-S-S. Maybe it's just me. But I think it's nasty. Kinda like taking a shot of Jager...but Jager is better
• This one chick at the gym today would use a piece of equipment, sit there, look at herself, then go to another piece. WAIT. She would leave her water bottle at the first one. Then she did the same thing and went to another, except she left her sweat shirt there. Was she marking her territory? How freaking rude...trying to keep 3 pieces of equipment for YOUR use only. Do what you need to do and move on OR...how about this one....WAIT like everyone else if someone else is using it. Next time I will just use it.
• I am now getting accustomed to the Elliptical. I hated it up until today. My quads were only screaming at me for the first few minutes. Now I am over it.
• Smart water must be made with crack. It's so addicting.
• I will be 29 in a week. 29. 2-9. TWENTY NINE. AKKKKKKKKKK. I had my 6 year old convinced, for about a minute, that I was going to be 7. Then I went through the logic with her. It went like this: Hailey, how old are you? (H) 6. (Me). If you are 6, then how could I possibly be 6? (H) You can't. You're bigger than me. (Hmmmmm...) (Me) How old is Hanna? (H) She's 8. hey wait...you're bigger than her too so you can't be 6. You're at least older than 8. You're in your 20's...you're 28. (Me) That's right! (H) So you're going to be 29 on the 7th...that's next Wednesday. The end.

Alright, that's all I have tonight. Nothing noteworthy. Just been busy these past few days.

Oh, I can see that I am slimming down. I met a guy today, and we were discussing working out. I showed him my arms...he could see the definition...and he's never seen me before! And I showed him my calves, which are killer anyway....it was nice discussing that with him. I showed him some of my workouts (he's buff btw) and he said "Damn girl, you're gonna be buff. You're not just losing weight (I told him I wanted to lose weight) you're gonna get cut!" Well, yes I am! That's the plan anyway...

Lastly, I would like to thank all of you that left me very supportive comments. I really appreciate it. You girls rock!

This song..I love this

I have a song on my brain and it's been here forever. I wanted to post it as the title of the blog (or any blog for that matter) because oftentimes, I do post names of songs on here. So what am I thinking today?



I can do anything you can but better...I can do anything better than you....



Does this sound familiar to anyone? It's from a Gap commercial that featured Claire Danes. Let's see if it's on You Tube. It is. so, if you go to You Tube and search for Claire Danes Gap commercial, you will find it sorry, I am You Tube illiterate and ...well...let me see if I can upload it!

Sometimes we need a little push

Tonight's another ramble night.

Sometimes we all need a push. Sometimes we need someone to push us.

The end.

Some days I just don't know

I really don't have much to say today. Gasp. Me....not having anything to say. WHAT?????????

Okay, maybe I have a lot to say, but none of it correlates to the other.

• I recently started a new job. Still working for the Air Force but in a new job. I'm now a Commander's Secretary and it's my job to keep the candy cup, on my desk, full. I bought them lots of chocolate and Willy Wonka candies and Starbursts. Sometimes I sit there thinking I could open a Starburst, chew it, but not swallow, then spit it out. Wouldn't hurt would it? Sure it would. So I don't. I just stare at the cup all day.
• I bought muffin mix today. Whole wheat muffin mix. And I am about to make muffins for my husband, child, AND co-workers. Sadly, I can't have any. I guess one way to get rid of cravings is to feed it to someone else.
• I am not a cookie/cake/muffin/ice cream kind of gal. Sure, I will eat those products, but it's a rare occasion. Seriously, I can go months without those things. But now that I CAN'T have them, I want them even more.
• I am starving right now but I think blogging is more important. Well, that may not be so. I am just too tired to get up.
• I had a VERY busy day. And there's still more I have to do. I ended up working late, which through off my gym time. I did 1/4 of my workout, got the baby, went to the store upon Clint's request, checked the mail, took Clint his Sunflower seeds, came home, unloaded groceries, put baby down, somewhat cleaned back yard. That's my day so far.
• Now I have to cook my meal and Clint's (mine is Turkey Italian Sausage, his is porkchops), take a bath, make up the workout I didn't get to finish, do 12 minutes of cardio I didn't get to do, AND do at least 45 mins of EXTRA cardio.
• I was 133.8 on Monday. I was told to get to the 120's by next week. NEXT week? What day? Are we talking Sunday? Or are we talking next Saturday?
• I was told to do more cardio. I'm *supposed* to do three 45 min sessions each week. It's Wednesday. I've done 0. So not only do I need to do 3, but I need to do EXTRA. Do I think EXTRA is 1? No. I feel like EXTRA would be 3. So let's count this. I can do one tonight. One tomorrow after work. (Assuming I have time). One tomorrow night when I am home. Okay. That's my three. Then I can do two on Saturday. If I do one hour tomorrow night, plus 1 hour for my two sessions on Saturday, that equates to four 45 minute sessions! EXTRA sessions! Oh wait. Crap. Tomorrow night would count for the first three sessions. Okay, I am too tired to do the math. Anyway, I will recalculate later and WILL do the equivalent of SEVEN 45 minute cardio sessions between now and midnight Saturday night. Sundays are OFF, so I can't do it. I was told to take Sunday off and I am.

Okay, enough rambling. I could go on and on about nothing, but dinner needs to get cooked. GREAT. I wish a magic genie would appear with my dinner in front of me!

Please, Please, Please

I am about to check out my workout for tomorrow. My only thoughts are of this nature:

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE don't be legs, don't be legs.

My poor legs are so sore. And it's not that they hurt. Well they do, but it's more like it feels like they can't hold up my body weight and are going to collapse underneath me. It hurts to walk. It hurts to sit up. OUCH.

So....the verdict is.........

YES!!!!!!!!!!

NOT LEGS! NOT LEGS!

It's abs. I can deal with that!

Diet Pills: The Easy Way Out

This past weekend Clint's uncle made a facetious remark about losing weight because of drugs. I madethe reference that I once lost weight because of drugs, but not the illegal kind. I told him I heard phentermine was comparable to Meth, but I couldn't verify. He said "Oh, is that the speckled bird egg pills?" Well, yes, actually, it was. I guess it really is comparable to meth. (He's in the medical field by the way--so his knowledge isn't because of drug use)

For a split second, I thought HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM....I will call up Dr. Maury, go visit him, and get on the phentermine again. I lost weight before that way. It would be so much easier than doing what I am doing now.

But the thought QUICKLY left me mind. I don't want the easy way out. Besides, I would only be a smaller, flabby version of myself. That's not what I want. Yes, I want to be smaller. But flabby isn't one of the desired results I want. I can't get buff from a diet pill!

Sure, it would be a hell of a lot easier on my life. No more spending hours in the kitchen cooking meals for the week. No more getting up early to prepare my breakfast and pack lunch. No more having to use my brain so much to calculate just how much I need and no more weighing! No more waiting for equipment at the gym. No more having to go BACK to the gym to finish the workout. No more 45 mins extra cardio 3X a week. No more trying to workout at home while tending to a cranky baby. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.....

But when I think about the body I want, I know it's all worth it! I know I don't want the easy way out!

Good night!

This is hard!

Losing weight is no small task. I am quite exhausted and it's only day 4. By no means am I complaining, but working out, fitting it in my schedule, planning my meals, grocery shopping, cooking, packing food....it gets tiring!

This weekend we are going out of town. I plan on cooking all of my meals with the exception of my eggs. I will have everything I need to prepare them, but I won't do it until I am there. No worries, I will even bring my own pan to stay on top of things. I am unsure about cooking my oatmeal in advance or not. We'll see. Tomorrow night will be very busy as I am going to be busy packing and cooking. Wish me luck. I am making 4 days worth of meals. I did this Sunday and it took all day. Let's see if I can do it in a few hours tomorrow night.

My workouts are great. I missed 13 minutes of cardio today. Oh well. I hate having that attitude but I was just extremely busy tonight and I honestly didn't have time to get it in. Maybe I will add it on tomorrow night. I feel guilty for missing it. I can work out tomorrow night from home. I will go to the gym Friday morning before I hit the road. Saturday is my biggest challenge. If it's an abs day, I can get that in, but it's the cardio that I don't know how to deal with. I don't think we will be staying at a hotel and I would feel quite weird loading up the mini trampoline and using it. We will be at a crowded house and not much room to work out. I could use that as my off day and just make that up Sunday. We'll see.

I am down 2 lbs from Sunday! Yippee!

I need to go to bed. If you all don't hear from me for a few days, don't be alarmed. I will be really busy tomorrow evening then I will be gone Friday-Sunday.

Good night.

I feel great part deux!

My workout today was bad ass! I completed an hour and fifteen mins at the gym and 45 mins of cardio at home! I'm well on my way to thindom!

There is an issue. Can my life ever be easy? If I drop Mackenzie off at daycare at 6:30 am, that means I HAVE to pick her up by 4:30, the time I am set to get off work. With that said, even if I did work out before work, that leave me with 45 mins to work out. Not going to happen. I am faced with 45 mins of cardio tomorrow. If I go during lunch, I will only have approximately 45 minutes to work out. Again, not going to happen. Then, if I go after work, (assuming I drop her off around 7:15am and have to pick her up by 5:15), that leave me with less than 45 minutes. GRRRRRRRRRRR.....

I had considered letting Clint drive Mackenzie to daycare a few days a week so I could work out, however, it looks like I will be working out quite a bit in the gym. We live about 20 miles from base, so that means we will be wasting $$ if he drive in to town to take her there.

I can do some of the stuff from home. In fact, I think I can complete tomorrow's workout from home. I'm doing abs and cardio and I can technically do it all from here. Since I have the bowflex, I can use it to do the one thing I need a machine for. Yippee! There is hope!

But when it comes to the rest of the stuff, I don't know how I am going to complete it all in 45 minutes. I really don't see that happening. Especially when I have 45 mins of cardio.

Technically, with my new job, I can have 1 hour of gym time, 3X per week. If I did the easy stuff at home then used that hour in conjunction with lunch, I would be golden. However, this is a new job and I don't want to start off missing a lot of work, even if I am entitled to it.

At least today was a kick butt day!

I feel great!

I think weight loss is a mental thing. No. I retract that statement. I KNOW it is. In the past, I have successfully been able to lose weight because I was able to mentally condition myself. I was in a mindset where I could eat 1 small bite of cheesecake and be satisfied versus eating a whole slice. I could go out to dinner and eat a small amount of my meal instead of gorging. I could sit diligently and eat whatever I was eating while my friends ate lunch. But it was all because of my mindset. Since getting pregnant/having Mackenzie, I haven't been in the right mindset. I have tried and tried but quickly failed.

However, I think *this* is going to be different. Right now, my mind is in the right place. I WANT to lose weight. I WILL lose weight. I WILL follow this plan. It WILL work for me.

So far today, I have been dead on my plan. I *did* cheat, twice. The first time I added 1 tsp of fat free, sugar free creamer to my coffee. Ohhhh dear. I added 10 calories. And the second cheat was eating a 1 inch piece of asparagus. It wasn't time to eat it, but I needed to taste it to see if it was tender. I've either cooked frozen, canned, or baked fresh asparagus. I've never cooked fresh asparagus on the stove top so sticking it with a fork told me nothing. I had to eat it. Oh no...another 2 calories!

Do I really think those two discrepancies are a huge deal? Absolutely not. I don't even know if the creamer had that many calories, and it was fat free, sugar free, and made with Splenda. And I KNOW the piece of asparagus didn't ruin things!

But those two discrepancies are MUCH better than what could've happened today and this next scenario will show you just how much will power I have.

I DROVE my husband to the donut shop. I ordered him two cinnamon rolls and 20 donut holes. Then I drove him to Starbucks and got him a Venti White Chocolate Mocha. He sat in the car eating and drinking and it didn't bother me. He DID ask "Are you sure you don't want a bite?" and I wanted to fly off the handle because he KNOWS I don't and I had just discussed the fact that I would greatly appreciate it if he wouldn't ask me if I wanted those things or tried to feed me a bite. So it really pisses me off that he would do such a thing. I can handle him eating/drinking in front of me. That's fine. But to taunt me flat out pisses me off. Moving on, we bought the baby some Ritz Cheese Crackers. I handed her several and they were by me the whole time in the car. I could've eaten one, or two, or three, etc. And I probably would've if I wasn't serious about this. But I didn't. I didn't even lick the remains off of my fingers. Score!

I'm very excited and this feels SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO right. I am very excited about this journey!

No, I didn't die

Sorry everyone, I've had a busy week. I have been overly tired and have been coming home and taking a nap, cooking, taking a bath, then going to bed. It started off with #3 having a bad night, which kept me up, and me taking a nap the enxt evening to make up for it.

But I am back...

With avengance!

I had something REALLY great to share wiht you. It's something someone shared with me but I have forgotten what it was. UGGGGGGG.....

No, wait! Here it is!

I am starting something new, with regards to working out and eating. I'll share this with you all later:-) ANyway, as I was speaking with someone about it, we were discussing my likes and dislikes of eating. When this person told me no more carbs in the form of flour, bread, pasta, sugar, etc. I said "no problem." When I was told sugar was gone I responded with "not a problem, I am not really in to sweets anyway." Hmmmm....so let's look at this.

Things I like:
Broccoli
Cauliflower
Brussels Sprouts
Mushrooms
Onions
Celery (not a huge fan but it's okay)
Peppers
Lettuce
Cabbage
Greens (Mustard, Turnips--not a fan of Collards)
Artichokes
Sauerkraut
Beans
Peas
Corn
Squash
Zucchini
Tomatoes

And the list goes on and on. Basically the list goes on and on.

I love all fruits too. My favorites are melon (Watermelon, Cantalupoe, Honeydew), peaches, and nectarines. But I can truly live without fruit. I can not live without veggies.

As for meat, I cook fish, chicken, and turkey. I do not use beef. On occassion I may make beef fajitas or a steak, but that's a rare event.

I can live without cakes, cookies, pies, pasta, bread, and so on.

And I don't care for cheese.

Basically, I am a veggie head.

So, I was asked something along these lines:

If you are eating healthy, if you can get rid of the bad stuff like that since you really don't use the bad stuff, what IS your weakness?

This translates to this: Okay, you KNOW how to eat right, why are you still fat?

No, the question wasn't rude like that whatsoever. I just translated it in those simple terms.

Serioulsy, if you listend to what I said and you know what I eat and what I like, then I should be thin (as far as my diet is concerned).

So what IS my weakness?

Co-workers and family peer pressure to eat out or partake in work related events. Travelling approximately 3 weekends a month and eating out.

I was told that I need to speak to those around me and tell them how serious I am about reaching my goals. Did that help? NO.

Yesterday was my last day at my job. This is a bittersweet thing. Leaving there falls in to the grand scheme of things and I think it falls perfectly in to place with regards to my losing weight. Well, there was some uncertainiy as to when I was leaving. I was *pretty* sure it was the 11th, but it could've been 2 weeks later. They knew this but didn't make plans for my going away. On Wednesday I suggested the place for the next day and everyone said okay, but nothing more was said. At 11am the next day a co-worker called back to the office and asked if I knew lunch was a 11:30. Um no...we didn't correspond any farther and no one else knew. So it was called off. Yesterday was out of the question because there was another event with food taking place at the hospital. Now, I had basically told them all week long it was now or never. Once I started this program, I wasn't eating anything I couldn't eat. So yesterday they said we would do lunch Monday. I told them over and over that I WAS NOT going. My plan would start that day and I was NOT going to eat. They told me I could get a salad or something. NO NO NO> Seriously, I told THREE people how serious I was but they weren't hearing it. F**king a**holes. Do you see why I couldn't lose weight.? Of course, I DO NOT have to go and I WILL NOT. #1-It's not my fault they didn't get their shit together sooner and #2-Why do I want to pay $$ to lose weight only to turn around and throw it down the drain by going to lunch with them? Sure, I could bring my own lunch but if that's the case, why go to watch them eat????

So, there you have it. Now you know why I am overweight!

You can do whatever you set your mind to do

So I hopped on the elliptical...the one I very much so hate. I had to stop every few minutes to rest a few seconds. My quads were burning. I wanted to stop. But I kept going. Forty minutes, 100 calories, and 2 miles later, I got off. I think I could've done more if I had something interesting to watch on tv and if it weren't so late. I think I just might take up my husband's challenge and watch "I am Legend" and stay on the elliptical the whole time.

Isn't it funny what you can do when you set your mind to do it?

WORK out means WORK

There's really nothing too exciting to post today. I had a very nice weekend in San Angelo. I discovered my new favorite store is Academy. LOVE IT. I ended up purchasing an elliptical. I wanted a treadmill but had my site set on spending a certain amount. I went to Big 5 and they had a REALLY good deal on one, in my price range, but they didn't have any. So I went back to Academy and looked that the treadmills in that price range and discovered they were crap. So, I walked out with an elliptical. It was decent. At least I think it was. Ellipticals aren't my thing. I can tell you about crap treadmills, but I can't tell you anything about Ellipticals. To be honest, I HATE them. I've used one a few times at the gym for MAYBE 5 minutes. My quads start burning and I am finished. And this is on the lowest setting min you. So WHY would I get one of these contraptions? For starters, Clint wanted it. He said treadmills are too hard on his knees and he would prefer an elliptical. Secondly, I had an epiphany. I said, out loud, that I don't like to work when I am working out, hence the reason I don't like ellipticals. Then it hit me. WAIT you fool, you really DO need to WORK if you want results. I may have skated by in the past not really working to get the body I desired, although I was working out. But it was nothing strenuous. I've now come to realize that I really need to work to get the body I desire--which isn't the body I wanted back then. I wanted to be a stick back then. Now I want to be buff!

My husband challenged me to watch "I am Legend" while on this thing. Um...I don't think so. But I am going to try!

Alright, I am off to use the Elliptical. Wish me luck.

Big News Coming

Hey, Hey, Hey! Happy Friday!

I have some big news coming. BIG. I'm not prepared to reveal the news just yet but I will share some background info (go figure!)

Around President's Day I wandered into a furniture store. I picked out a red sofa and love seat http://www.ashleyfurniture.com/Showroom/LargeProductImage.aspx?PageId=Showroom&SetDomTab=2&ItemNo=1220020

I paid $200 down for them to hold it. I was going to get it on Monday. The sales associate said they would order me a new one that was wrapped, instead of pulling the one from the floor and putting it in the back. Well, REALLY wanted to do something else instead of paying $665 on Monday for the couch. I called to ask the sales person if I could come in on the 17th (my next pay period). This was the deal breaker. If I couldn't, then my other purchase would have to wait. If I could, then I was getting it. Well, Ellie informed me that she was dreading placing the call, but she was about to call me to tell me they couldn't find my couch. They sold the one on the floor and they can't find mine in the back and the Ashley website said the set is DISCONTINUED. Oh no. I am kind of sad. I REALLY wanted a new sofa and love seat. I am partially afraid that I won't save the $$ again to get a set. At the same time, I REALLY want to make another purchase. So, I guess it worked out for the better. I can pick up my $$ whenever and I guess I will go looking for something else in May. This REALLY sucks because I REALLY liked that set. I am VERY particular when it comes to couches. Not only do they have to look right, I have to sink in it. I'm afraid I will not be able to find another set that is that inexpensive, is red, and I sink in it. Out of like 50 sets there, that's the only ONE I liked. And trust me, you don't want to go with me because I spend like an hour sitting on this one and that one. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.............

But, I made another purchase. More to come. And, in a perfect world, next week Ellie will call me to tell me she has located that set for me OR she found something comparable. So I get my cake and I get to eat it too!

Amanda and Kelly...I hate you!

Just kidding! But seriously, I had a massive headache the past few days. Right now it's feeling a little better. Shall I dare call it a migraine? It sure felt like one and I had to leave work because of it today. It feels a little better now. So why did I reference Amanda and Kelly? Well, Amanda is a migraine sufferer. I feel really bad for anyone who has to have one and this poor dear gets them quite often and they seem much more severe than the one I had. Amanda had said hers gets worse when it's her time of the month. Hmmmmm...that's weird. Getting a headache with hormonal changes. Then Kelly had mentioned that she had a funk headache when it was her time of the month. Again, weird. It's not weird and it's VERY plausible...getting a headache when your hormones change. I just wanted to throw in that word:-)Anyway, I've had some spotting today which indicates it's almost that time. Hmmmmmmmmm.....am I going to be one of those that gets headaches associated with TOM? Let's hope this was a fluke thing and it's just coincidence. I can't handle this each month. And let's hope this thing is gone!

I ate badly today. I had a burger with swiss, bacon, jalapenos, and mayo. GASP. And I had fries. Kelly once (or twice) said that when she's not feeling well, she wants to eat burgers or bagels or things that aren't so good. Not that she DOES eat those things, but that's what she craves. Well that's what I did. I had an awful headache and I just felt I needed something greasy. And strangely, my headache has gotten better. I hadn't been eating a lot these past few days so maybe that was my body's way of telling me it needed more calories (although I doubt that).

One more thing. I had a protein shake on Monday and I got a headache and felt like I wanted to pass out. It *seems* like this happened the last time I had one, but I am not 100%. As it was happening I was thinking "This seems familiar. Has this happened before?" The next time I will definitely know. Anyway, has this happened to anyone? Has anyone gotten sick like that from protein powder? The Soy kind I've been using was like 29 g of protein. This Whey protein is like 52g. Could that much protein at once make me ill?

Sorry

I'm sending out my apologies now. I have another headache. I'm not sure what it is. The last two days it's been the same thing--I get this headache in the morning, take tylenol, drink coffee, then it comes back at the end of the day, where I take Tylenol and drink coffee but it doesn't do anything for me. Yesterday I tried to take a nap to sleep it off, no such luck with the nap. Today I actually get the nap but my head still hurts. I'm really wishing I had a vicodin or something stronger than Tylenol to knock this thing out. It feels like a migraine except the pain is dull and is covering my forehead.

No working out. I don't want to vomit.

Good night.

Terrible Tuesday

Today's not really all that terrible. I've had a dull headache all day long. It feels as if my eyes are going to pop out of my head. I tried to take a nap then my Blackberry started buzzing and woke me.

I used the trampoline for about 30 minutes today. Clint came home for lunch and I stopped to visit with him. Now my head is hurting and I don't want to make it worse.

I managed to chug down my liquid today. I am slowly weening myself off the G2.

I did okay today as far as food goes:

Tuna
Salad with Turkey and Swiss
1 cup veggies soup
100 calorie pack teddy grahams
1 cup potatoes, chicken, and asparagus
10 cheese it's
1/2 cup whole wheat rotini with spaghetti sauce and beans
1 slice bacon (25 calories)


I think that's it! I feel like I consumed a gazillion calories although I guess after looking at it, I didn't.

I hate to run by I need to go close my eyes. Good night.