I'm alive! I'm alive!

My life has been nuts these past few weeks. Work, home, you name it, it's been crazy!

So where do I begin? Well, I haven't been to the gym in about a month. I got a new boos almost 2 weeks ago. The point leading up to that process was a very busy one. And now that he is here, it's still busy. I did try to go to the gym after work one say but it was insanely packed. I've never seen it that packed. Must be kids that are out of school. I haven't tried during my lunch hour. I really need to find time for ME. I've been cutting my lunches shorter and shorter or sometimes working through it. That needs to change.

My eating has been okay. I am not eating BADLY, but some days I do eat like 4 fun sized almond joys. Bad girl. But here's the kicker: I am losing weight! I am wearing my old clothes. Ideally, I would like to lose 10 more lbs to reach my goal number. But I am pretty happy with my size now. HOWEVER, I will not let that comfort stall me.

I think I just had my last month with Tony. In fact, I know I have. The first month, I lost 8 lbs like that. But those next two months were a waste of my $$. I am the one that controls me, and what I eat and when I work out. But I was just SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO busy. I was too damn busy to really grocery shop. On top of that, I played phone-e-mail tag with him and that pretty much just added to my stalling. I e-mailed him, he e-mailed me, he called, missed his call, he e-mailed, I e-mailed, he called, missed it, returned call, e-mailed, got e-mail asking when a good time to call would be, then I heard NOTHING for a week. I suddenly got another e-mail asking when I good time to call was and if I had a cell phone. In all honestly, that rubbed me the WRONG way. It was like I was someone he had never talked to before in his life. DO I HAVE A CELL PHONE? From day 1 he had my cell #. I am not really sure what he meant in that e-mail. did I have a cell over a home phone or work phone? I dunno. But that left me hugely disappointed and I didn't respond. I KNOW this isn't the case, I KNOW it. But I felt it so I am going to share it. I suddenly felt like I didn't matter, that I was just some random person, and he was too busy for me. I know he trains a lot of people and I felt like I just got lost somewhere in the crowd. So, at that moment, I decided that I didn't want to take up any more of his time. I probably should've expressed this to him, so he could set me straight. But I honestly just don't want to waste any more $$, because that's what I felt like I did these last two months. Tony is a GREAT trainer. He really is. That first month was awesome. But when my life became hectic, I pretty much gave up. That wasn't him, it was me. I think that if I had been able to talk to him, he could've pulled me out of this trance, and all would be well. But it didn't happen like that. And here I am.

So what have I been up to this month? Heavy drinking. Copious amounts of alcohol. Seriously. Prior to meeting my husband, I would go out on weekends and drink and have a good time. Once I got married, and had Mackenzie, I couldn't count the number of times I've been drunk on one hand. But like every weekend for the past month, we've had people over. And I would drink. Now, when I say alot, it really wasn't a lot. But it was alot for me. I took 2 sips of Moscato yesterday and had one hell of a buzz. I can only imagine what this is doing to my metabolism. ICK. But I AM still losing weight??????

Alright, I better go. My husband is bitching that I am on the computer. I haven't been on the f**king thing in God knows how long. Oh wait. I might spend 5 mins a day on it. But when he wants me up his ass and I am not there, he starts bitching that I spend too much time on the computer. Excuse me. That asshole has spent every free moment in the shop or playing Guitar Hero--like he's doing now. WHY DO I NEED TO GO SIT NEXT TO HIM FOR THAT? No, instead, he says I am always on the computer. FUCK OFF DICKHEAD. I haven't updated my blog since June, yet I am on the computer ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL the time.....asshole.