How many excuses can I make??

I am going to weigh in tomorrow. I'm dreading this a little. I know that I've done things right this week and am certain the scale won't show that much of a loss. I need to be patient and realize that this isn't going to happen overnight. I would LOVE to see at least a 2lb loss tomorrow but you know, I'm not sweating it. I don't have much faith in scales these days so regardless of what it reads in the morning, I am going to press on! BUT...I thought I would have a little fun right now. Have you ever read a blog, message board, or whatever and you see a ton of excuses for why someone didn't lose weight that week? It's my time of the month. I'm ovulating and I get bloated during that time. I only drank 60 ounces of water instead of 64 so I must be retaining water. This list can go on and on. I've made excuses for not working out or for eating garbage, but I've never made an excuse for not losing weight (or gaining). But, I thought I would go ahead and make one.

Reasons the scale may not show a loss tomorrow:

• It's my time of the month
• I've drank NO water today
• I had two free days this week with BFL. Not two free eating days, but two free non-workout days (Will explain later)
• I had 3 days of non-cardio workout. I must be gaining muscle and that weighs more than fat
• I had coffee from Starbucks and that causes dehydration so that's why I'm fat
• The artificial sweetener in the coffee I am about to drink kept the weight on
• I had too much protein this week
• The Fiber One Cereal made me bloated
• My boobs are fuller so that added weight
• My scale must've moved over an inch giving me a different reading
• I didn't weigh at the EXACT same time as last week so I am still fat
• The added Crystal Light in my water is making me retain water
• The Protein Powder is making me fat

Okay, this is hurting my brain as I am having a hard time coming up for reasons. Do any of you have any great excuses I can add to my list of why I might not have lost weight this week?