Monday, July 7, 2008

I'm alive! I'm alive!

My life has been nuts these past few weeks. Work, home, you name it, it's been crazy!

So where do I begin? Well, I haven't been to the gym in about a month. I got a new boos almost 2 weeks ago. The point leading up to that process was a very busy one. And now that he is here, it's still busy. I did try to go to the gym after work one say but it was insanely packed. I've never seen it that packed. Must be kids that are out of school. I haven't tried during my lunch hour. I really need to find time for ME. I've been cutting my lunches shorter and shorter or sometimes working through it. That needs to change.

My eating has been okay. I am not eating BADLY, but some days I do eat like 4 fun sized almond joys. Bad girl. But here's the kicker: I am losing weight! I am wearing my old clothes. Ideally, I would like to lose 10 more lbs to reach my goal number. But I am pretty happy with my size now. HOWEVER, I will not let that comfort stall me.

I think I just had my last month with Tony. In fact, I know I have. The first month, I lost 8 lbs like that. But those next two months were a waste of my $$. I am the one that controls me, and what I eat and when I work out. But I was just SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO busy. I was too damn busy to really grocery shop. On top of that, I played phone-e-mail tag with him and that pretty much just added to my stalling. I e-mailed him, he e-mailed me, he called, missed his call, he e-mailed, I e-mailed, he called, missed it, returned call, e-mailed, got e-mail asking when a good time to call would be, then I heard NOTHING for a week. I suddenly got another e-mail asking when I good time to call was and if I had a cell phone. In all honestly, that rubbed me the WRONG way. It was like I was someone he had never talked to before in his life. DO I HAVE A CELL PHONE? From day 1 he had my cell #. I am not really sure what he meant in that e-mail. did I have a cell over a home phone or work phone? I dunno. But that left me hugely disappointed and I didn't respond. I KNOW this isn't the case, I KNOW it. But I felt it so I am going to share it. I suddenly felt like I didn't matter, that I was just some random person, and he was too busy for me. I know he trains a lot of people and I felt like I just got lost somewhere in the crowd. So, at that moment, I decided that I didn't want to take up any more of his time. I probably should've expressed this to him, so he could set me straight. But I honestly just don't want to waste any more $$, because that's what I felt like I did these last two months. Tony is a GREAT trainer. He really is. That first month was awesome. But when my life became hectic, I pretty much gave up. That wasn't him, it was me. I think that if I had been able to talk to him, he could've pulled me out of this trance, and all would be well. But it didn't happen like that. And here I am.

So what have I been up to this month? Heavy drinking. Copious amounts of alcohol. Seriously. Prior to meeting my husband, I would go out on weekends and drink and have a good time. Once I got married, and had Mackenzie, I couldn't count the number of times I've been drunk on one hand. But like every weekend for the past month, we've had people over. And I would drink. Now, when I say alot, it really wasn't a lot. But it was alot for me. I took 2 sips of Moscato yesterday and had one hell of a buzz. I can only imagine what this is doing to my metabolism. ICK. But I AM still losing weight??????

Alright, I better go. My husband is bitching that I am on the computer. I haven't been on the f**king thing in God knows how long. Oh wait. I might spend 5 mins a day on it. But when he wants me up his ass and I am not there, he starts bitching that I spend too much time on the computer. Excuse me. That asshole has spent every free moment in the shop or playing Guitar Hero--like he's doing now. WHY DO I NEED TO GO SIT NEXT TO HIM FOR THAT? No, instead, he says I am always on the computer. FUCK OFF DICKHEAD. I haven't updated my blog since June, yet I am on the computer ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL the time.....asshole.


Kelly O said...

Hee heee hee that's all I can say!!
Glad you are back chica

The Blonde Hurricane said...

Good to hear from you! Your readers have missed your blogging!!! :) -- Jess

Tina said...

LMAO!! Hell you tell it like it is, I love you give lessons!! I have missed you, and some of it my fault...I put me first...I had to, I really wanted to get somewhere, and I couldn't get it all done, something had to blog reading...but I'm back and you better be killing it this month...cause I'm waiting for those pictures ;) Sorry you got this impression of Tony, I'm sure after you both got it all cleared up...which I hope you told him how you saw things...he needs to know how you feel, anyhow, I'm sure you got to talk with him and you are back on track...he has a way of firing us up like no other! Keep going girl, you have no idea where you are headed, no idea!! You hold the key to the possibilities, Tony will help you open the door!!