Saturday, May 31, 2008

Crash and Burn

I haven't felt this bad in weeks. I've been following Tony's plan for 6 weeks. No problems. Felt great. Then this week I fell off the wagon. No, I didn't wat bad. No way. But I did have some carbs that were high on the glycemic index and that's left me feeling like shit. For some reason, I just didn't eat on cue. I ate well. (Except for the Vanilla Wafer Cakester yesterday). Today I had some veggie chili for lunch and that's left me down, down, down. It's got to be the corn. Clearly my body doesn't like anything other than broccoli, green beans, or asparagus!

I need to get back on track. I WILL be 119 by the 14th. I HAVE TO BE! That means I have to give it 150% these next two weeks. I have 14 days. That's it.

Here's to getting back on track and kicking ass!

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

I've been a bad bad girl..whine

Kelly recently had a fabulous post about motivation. Basically, it doesn't arrive on your doorstep via Fed Ex. It's not something you're going to find magically sitting there like ta-da, surprise, here I am. No, it's something that you make. You just need to get up and do this or that and the motivation will happen. How many times have you heard people say "I just need to get some motivation" or "I will get around to it once I find my motivation." She was's not some magic pill or something that comes with your cup of coffee....

Now with that said...I NEED SOME MOTIVATION. Since the UPS guy didn't deliver it and it's not in this water concoction I am drinking, I guess I just need to press on without the motivation then it will follow.

I've had a SUCKY week. It's been my fault. My own damn fault. Nothing has kept me from the gym. Nothing has been wrong that has enabled me to workout. Let's recap.

Last week I suffered from this weird morning sickness episode. No, I am not pregnant and no it wasn't morning sickness. However, when I was preggo with #1 and #3, I experienced this. I would get nauseated in the evenings, for like 5 days in a row. Well that happened last week. I ate some oatmeal one night to see if it would settle my tummy. NOPE. It's not like oatmeal is a bad thing, but it's definitely NOT on the plan at nights. Over the weekend I ate 1/4 of a Ruben wrap. This was done on purpose. I didn't truly think my diet was the cause of the sickness considering I had been doing it for like 6 weeks now. But I wanted to rule everything out. Did that work? Nope. I took tagament and pepcid..nothing helped. I'm finally over it so I will never know. Now, that was my food blunders. I worked out on Friday then went out of town Sat and Sun. Since Mon was a holiday, I didn't go to the gym. Crap, that was 3 days of missing my workouts. I like to take a late lunch to go to the gym. Otherwise it's too crowded. Yesterday I went to tan and pay the cell bill at lunch. I wasn't going to the gym after work, but my husband told me there was golf ball size hail at home, so I decided to go. I cut out 15 minutes early AND I had a half ass workout. I just wasn't feeling it. Then I skipped the gym today. I went to Wal-Mart at lunch (didn't have to) and then I went home after work. Did I do anything at home? NO.

I missed a call from Tony today. He normally schedules the calls. The last time I talked to him he said he wanted to talk to me the next week. Crap....was this the next week? Or was last week the next week? Regardless, I thought he would have sent an e-mail setting up the call. No, he just called. And I missed it. And I didn't even call back. What???? I didn't call back???? That's how big of a funk I am in. I KNOW he is motivating. Granted, UPS didn't deliver him, but US Cellular did. Maybe I just didn't want to be motivated. Maybe I just want to be in a funk. Who the hell knows. All I know is that if I don't snap out of this, I WON'T reach my goals.

Since I am confessing, I have to tell you that I have slipped off the wagon in many areas. I HAVEN'T been drinking my gallon of water. Not even close. I *almost* have down a little over half a gallon. If you know me, you know I hate drinking liquids (and solids and gasses too). But I drank a gallon of water for a damn month straight...everyday...and then like that BOOM...I stopped. What the hell is wrong with me? Someone please slap me.

I won't be out of town this weekend. I will be home. Yeah! However, the next weekend we have to go run down to Abilene to get #1 and #2. It's just a day trip, so I have plenty of time to get in a workout. Who the hell am I kidding? I've yet to work out on the weekend and if I can't drink water, what makes me think I can get up and workout? Okay, moving on. Then the next weekend, we have to go my step-daughter. That's just a night trip (if I am lucky). Then the following weekend, we have to take BOTH sets of kids home. EEEEKKKKK. That's going to suck as that's going to take up a lot of time. If we do it in one day, we're exhausted. If we do it over two days, then I waste two days. Oh well. We'll see. After that, I should have at least two weekends before I have to do it all over again.

I've lost my train of thought. My goal is to be at 119 by June 14th. That gives me a little over two weeks. HAHAHAHA. I don't see that happening. BUT....the weight just fell off last time remember? And it did so in the end. But if this is going to happen, Shay needs to take over Sherry and kick her ass a little and whip some motivation in her. And this has to happen NOW. Okay, I am NOT going to work out at 11pm. But I will try to finish this water. And tomorrow I WILL workout twice. I will reward myself by tanning on Friday!

Monday, May 26, 2008

Mio Heart Rate Monitor with Calorie Function

Does anyone have one of these? I purchased one at the beginning of April. When I test my HR on it, then test it with the equipment at the gym, it's dead on. Anyway, I had the box laying by the front door and my husband moved it. I can't find it and the Mio website is under maintenance. So what is it that I need? I need to know how to tell how many calories I am burning. It had a function to tell you how many calories are burned, and you can input your calories after each meal and it tells you if you're getting close. When I first got it, I just got the time set. Now I need to know how to work the rest of it but I can't find the directions. HELP.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

And now back to our regularly scheduled programming

Sorry about the blog detour for the past few posts. I had something to address and I did so and now it's time to move on!

I took half the day off and went to the gym when I got off. It was NICE! I love being there. I had some errands to run so I will finish up one one workout tonight. I also have to finish up my cardio.

As much as I love doing cardio at the gym, I am going to have to do it here at home. Why? Because I received 2 months FREE unlimited tanning and I have to take advantage of it before it expires on the 29th. I prefer to go to the gym during lunch for weights and cardio after work. But that doesn't leave tanning time. So I will go tan after work. That means there is no time for cardio. If there is any thing I can do at home, as far as weights go, then I will. I can work my abs here at home and do cardio at the gym. But my two trips to the gym must cease if I want to take advantage of this tanning package. I am entitled to 3 hours a week for gym time. I should take advantage of that so I could use the cardio equipment there. I might just ask for an extra 30 minutes at lunch 3 days a week instead. That way I can do weights and light cardio. I might have Clint take the baby to daycare once a week for me so I can go in early, but I doubt that will happen because A-I don't want to get up that early and B-with gas prices so high, making two trips to Altus is nuts. Guess cardio is at home!

My eating has been great (almost). Felt a little ick the past few days. I ate about 1/2 of mashed potatoes with gravy (rounding up here) and I felt so gross afterwards. Clearly my body doesn't like heavy foods anymore. Now that I can have a little more variety other than green beans, asparagus, and broccoli, meal time is better! It's not *so* boring. By no means am I complaining. It's helped me come this far. I'm just saying that chicken and green beans is gross!

I'm going to see if I can catch a brisk nap. Then it's cardio time!!!! My goal is to see 125 by Monday morning. Sunday *should* be my weigh in, but I will be out of town this weekend. I won't be cheating, but I sadly don't get in all of my water AND...I won't be able to weigh myself either. So, Monday, I WILL BE 125!!! That's only 2 lbs. It's do-able. I read a post by Melissa H and she was saying that Tony told her he wanted her to be X weight by X time but she was stuck. I was the same way. I stayed at 131 forever. Then one day it went to 129, then to 127 and now it's stuck there. So it appears that my weight comes off in chunks. I don't slowly go down. Nope. WOOSH. There it goes. So I will probably make it to 125. If this month follows last month, I am right on target. The last 2 weeks, I will lost the bulk of the weight. If I can lose another 8 lbs this month, I will be at 119. Shreek!!!! How exciting is that? Come on weight...fall off in big chunks...big chunks!

Tuesday, May 20, 2008


A friend asked me if my post was in reference to my husbands ex wife or my ex husbands wife. Hmmmmm...that depends...are they spying on me?

Let me say a few things about them both:

Husbands ex wife. She is NO supermodel. And neither am I. And neither is anyone else that I know. I am an administrative assistant. She is a nurse. You're probably in some other profession other than modelling. My "She's no supermodel" wasn't exactly an insult. She really isn't a supermodel. She's a nurse. As far as her looks go, she's an average person. Average. She's not ugly. She's not take your breath away gorgeous. She's normal. That's it. I am certain that some people think she's less than average and I am sure some people think she's way above average. To me, she's normal!

Was I insulting her by saying she talked fast and was hard to understand sometimes? Nope. That's not an insult. She does talk fast. Sometimes it IS hard to understand. But guess what. Sometimes I can't understand my boss or my husband or #2 when she's on the phone. I couldn't understand this kid from Wisconsin today. I can't understand some things Mackenzie says.

I think that Clint's ex wife is a great person. She may not have been the best choice for him to marry, but I'm sure she feels the same way about him. I personally am thankful that I am not married to her, but then again, I am thankful that I am not married to any woman. In all seriousness, I think we have a strange relationship. For some strange reason, I am able to get on the phone with her and talk to her for hours. Seriously. We can just talk and talk and talk about any topic at all. Now that's weird. Should I be this "close" to my husbands ex wife? I don't know? I've never had to deal with it before. I certainly don't dislike her. Would it be a stretch to say that I like her? It wouldn't be a stretch, but it would be odd to say. Am I supposed to like her? Or should I dislike her just because of who she is? I dislike her as my husbands ex, but as a person, I do like her.

Now, as for the ex husbands wife. She really is LESS of a supermodel. She's only about 5'3, and my husbands ex is like 5' do you see that she would be less of a supermodel? Most supermodels aren't tall at all! Okay, to be serious. She too is average. She's not drop dead gorgeous nor is she ugly as sin. She's just normal. Clearly my ex husnabd thinks she's beautiful. And that's what counts right?

As for the sock in the mouth....I have very little communication with her. She answers the phone and then hands it to the girls. That's it. We don't talk. If I have to talk to anyone, I talk to my ex and that's a very short conversation.

So what's the purpose of this post? Well, for starters, I'm making another example. Isn't it easy to misconstrue things? My good friend thought my comment that "She's no supermodel" meant the chick was ugly or something like that. Nope. I meant it literally as in her profession isn't that. It's VERY easy to misinterpret things. I was talking about looks not professions wasn't I? But I deliberately wrote a few things in the last post for a reason. Sometimes things do get taken out of context. A few weeks ago I said that I had been with Tony for a month. Well, for those that know about Tony, you know what it means. But to the lay person, they might think that Tony was a new man in my life and we had been together for a month. (I actually had someone ask who Tony was because they thought I was married)

Why am I sharing all of this newfound insite? Recently, I have read blogs where readers have had to defend their posts. Some people read things a certain way while others read it differently. I just wanted to prove that it does happen. I had no one to prove it to. Just wanted in on the topic. I find authors having to go back and defend their posts because things were taken the wrong way. It's nuts!

Also, one blogger had some people reading her blog and she wasn't aware of it. She mentioned them in her blog. Should she have to censor what she writes because of that? So what if you don't KNOW who's reading your blog. You never know who is. But she have to hide her feelings just in case they're reading?

Now, on to my second point, that correlates with the the other. If either of the two mentioned people WERE reading my blogs, they would be doing so because they looked me up on the internet. I never, NEVER once told either of them that I had a blog. The only time I told anyone that I had a blog was when I posted it on my myspace. However, neither of them has access to my myspace. It's plausible that someone viewed my myspace and told them I had a blog. But in that case, someone was gossiping and they partook in it. Why are you discussing me? I do not care that they are reading my blog. I don't care who reads it. It's public. Go google my name and you will find this blog. What WOULD bother me though is that if they WERE reading it, how did they come across it? Because you were gossiping about me or because you looked me up on the internet. Also, WHY would you want to check up on me? Are you searching for information? Are you waiting for me to reveal that I won the lottery so that you can get more child support? Are you wanting me to say that I bought my daughters an alligator so that you can report it to my ex husband so he can throw a fit? Are you waiting for me to say that Mackenzie is Clint's favorite so you can tell your child that her dad doesn't like her? What could you possibly want besides finding friviolous information? Do you just want to know what's going on in my world like everyone else. I highly doubt it. And....Trust me, if it's something that I don't want you to hear, I won't post it here. I don't care if you're reading it or not. If I think there's a chance that it would get back to you, I wouldn't dare post it. But that's not just directed to the ex or the ex's current, it's for everyone. If I don't want it to get out, I'm definitely not going to post it here. I mean, come on, I am NOT going to post certain things like my financial situation, certain details of my job, detailed information about my children, etc. You may get tidbits. Ex: I might say that I bought an Elliptical and you might think I won the lottery....but it may turn out that I am just as freaking broke as I was yesterday but my mother bought it for me because she wanted to make up for certain events that she missed out on. I might leave out those details because it's kind of private. I might tell you that it was #1's birthday or that my step-daughter was sick, but I'm not going to tell you all about their lives. The people that are close to me know what's going on in my life. But I'm not going to post intimate details on this blog. So, if you are the ex wife or the current wife, you're not going to find anything of interest to you. You may think that you found something of value to you, but I guarantee you, it's really of no use.

Now....a third point.....And this correlates to stalkers, spyers, and anonymous readers. What if the people I mentioned are reading my blog? What if I wrote something nasty about both of them everyday? I'm sure that would make them irate. But do you think they would say anything to me? Do you think I would get a phone call or e-mail asking me to stop talking about them? Nope. Why not? Because they don't want me to know that they're checking up on me. It's like people that leave nasty comments. 99% of the time they're cowards that post those things as an anonymous person. Why? Because they're too scared to face confrontation. If you know who they are, then you may something. Or everyone will see just how ugly this person really is. So they try to hide. I don't think that the ex wife or the ex's wife is afraid of confrontation, I just think that don't want me to know that they are in essence, spying on me.

I will say this: I already know if they are/are not reading this blog. I KNOW. Perhaps I wrote this to taunt them or perhaps it's just part of the lesson. Maybe I just used them as an example because it seemed like a good idea at the time. Why did I mention Jimi Hendrix? Or maybe I did this to basically call them out to say HEY, I KNOW YOU ARE READING MY BLOG.

Either way, the topic is now dead. If they want to read my blog, go for it. I just explained that nothing said about them was written in a negative or malicious way. It was to prove a point and the point was that people can misconstrue things and sometimes things aren't as they seem. Some people don't know what's true or not. What you may think you know, may not be that at all. Keep reading my blogs. That's fine. It's open to the public. Whether you're an ex husbands wife, a husbands ex wife, and ex boyfriends wife or whomever, keep reading. I am thrilled that you think my life is that great that you want to keep on reading. Just remember, aside from the few posts that go astray (that's the little happenings along the way), this blog is about my journey to lose weight. It's about me working my booty off nearly everyday. It's about me eating the same boring things everyday. It's about sharing motivation with others. However, it is NOT a place for you to gather information. Why not? Because it's just not there. Read my blogs. Get upset. If it really bothers you, confront me. If you don't have the spine to do it, then stop reading if you don't like the message! And if you really want to know something, just ask. It's a lot less time consuming than having to search this thing over for information.

The end.

Oh, and for those of you that are REALLY close to me....shoot me an e-mail and I will explain the riddle to you. I will tell you about what's actually going on! This might not have a darn thing to do with the ex wife or the ex's wife.

The answers you all have been waiting for

I'm about to come across some $$ so I can get a boob job. Well I do play the lottery every once in a while

I lost 8 lbs in a month. Sure did

I'm one of Tony's clients. Yep

I love Jimi Hendrix. Yep

I think my husbands ex wife is ugly. No, she's not ugly. But she's no supermodel.

I think my ex husbands wife is ugly. She's less of a supermodel.

I think my husbands ex wife talks like she has a sock in her mouth. No, but she does talk fast and is hard to understand sometimes.

I wish my ex husbands wife would stick a sock in her mouth Nah. I don't talk to her so a sock wouldn't matter.

I wish my husbands wife had some clean socks. I do need to wash laundry.

I think really thin girls are gross. Yes. To each her own, but I don't find it attractive. And neither do most people I know.

I think really thin guys are gross. Yes

I love cycling. No

I did run in the OKC marathon. Nope

I know a guy that ran 168 miles for the 168 victims of the OKC marathon. Yes! Brendan Brustad. He's so inspiring.

I am allergic to bananas. No, just cats.

My 3 best friends names starts with a K. Yes

One person I hate has a name that starts with a K. Yes

I drink a gallon of water a day. I try to

I met Kelly O from an Atkins message group. Yep

Mrs. F was the reason I started my blog. Yep

Tina is the reason I hired Tony. Yes indeed

I think figure competitors are nuts. Nope

I think women with big weddings are nuts. YES

I think I made a cake without nuts. I sure did. And I didn't even eat any of it.

I'm glad I don't have any sons. True

I gave birth to 3 daughters. Sure did

Out of all of my readers, I've known my friend Tiffany the longest. Yes

I use to date Tiffany's brother. True

I am married to Tiffany's brother. Yes. My husbands step sister is named Tiffany

I've owned 3 Mustangs. Correct

I eat chicken and green beans almost every day. I did for a month

I love the name Blish. Absolutely. I wish I had heard it prior to naming Mackenzie.

I want another daughter. OH NO

I love being pregnant. a fat kid hates cake

I love nosey people who read blogs just to try to get information. Of course. NOT. Will address that in a bit.

There are five blogs that I must read everyday. False. There are about 8.

Okay, so what was the purpose of that? Well, I don't know that there was a purpose. But I will say this. I am well aware that there are some readers out there who read this to be nosey, in hopes of gaining some VERY useful information. With that in mind, I will never say anything that I don't mind the whole world knowing. Then again, every now and again, I just might throw them something interesting to see if I can get a reaction. Childish...yes...I know. But then again, spying on me is quite juvenile too. It's one thing to read a person's blog to see what they're up's a totally different animal when you either A-read it in order to try to gain some information that you might find useful or B-read it in order to report my life back to others--aka--gossiping!

Anyway, happy reading! All are welcome. Even the spys!

Monday, May 19, 2008

Part two...fact or fiction

Do you ever wonder if what you're reading is fact or fiction? Unless we're actually friends, you probably don't know if what I am saying is truth or a lie. And the same goes back to you--I don't know if it's real or fake. I'm not saying that everything I say isn't real and I'm not saying it is. You be the judge:

True or false:
I'm about to come across some $$ so I can get a boob job
I lost 8 lbs in a month
I'm one of Tony's clients
I love Jimi Hendrix
I think my husbands ex wife is ugly
I think my ex husbands wife is ugly
I think my husbands ex wife talks like she has a sock in her mouth
I wish my ex husbands wife would stick a sock in her mouth
I wish my husbands wife had some clean socks
I think really thin girls are gross
I think really thin guys are gross
I love cycling
I did run in the OKC marathon
I know a guy that ran 168 miles for the 168 victims of the OKC marathon
I am allergic to bananas
My 3 best friends names starts with a K
One person I hate has a name that starts with a K
I drink a gallon of water a day
I met Kelly O from an Atkins message group
Mrs. F was the reason I started my blog
Tina is the reason I hired Tony
I think figure competitors are nuts
I think women with big weddings are nuts
I think I made a cake without nuts
I'm glad I don't have any sons
I gave birth to 3 daughters
Out of all of my readers, I've known my friend Tiffany the longest
I use to date Tiffany's brother
I am married to Tiffany's brother
I've owned 3 Mustangs
I eat chicken and green beans almost every day
I love the name Blish
I want another daughter
I love being pregnant
I love nosey people who read blogs just to try to get information
There are five blogs that I must read everyday

Okay...that's enough trivia for today. Some may be true. Some may be false. Let's see how well you know me....Until tomorrow!

Greetings and salutations

Happy Monday!

I hate Mondays. Especially after they follow icky weekends. Clint and I went 3 hrs away to see his daughter this weekend. The poor thing got sick Sunday morning. Although she only threw up twice, she must've gotten worse when she went home as her mom took her to the hospital. They're not sure if she ate something bad or just had a tummy bug. It's no fun when kids are sick. Crossing fingers that none of us catch it here.

Workouts have been nonexistent since Friday. Saturday, in spite of setting my alarm for 5, I didn't get up to workout. I didn't even get in cardio. Then last night I was set to workout, and I did about 10 minutes of cardio, but I didn't do anymore. I began to pick things up because Clint's dad came in to town. Then today I didn't go to the gym because I had to go somewhere on my lunch hour and then Clint's dad is here (already mentioned that) so I came straight home after work so we could spend time with him.

Sounds like a load of excuses. Although they're "acceptable" excuses, they're still that. I COULD have gotten up early on Saturday. I COULD have done cardio while I was at my in-laws home. I COULD have went to the gym today. And I CAN workout here at home tonight. Granted, the heaviest weight I have is 15 lbs and I could really use heavier weights. But I CAN workout.

On an off topic here. Do you ever wonder who reads your blogs? If you know you have a certain readership, should you say things to address them? Ex: "Oh, Kelly O is the most kick booty chick! Her arms are to die for. I wish I had her stamina to work out like she does" What if you KNOW that someone reads your blog but maybe they're reading in secret. Should you say something then? Ex: "Oh Clint is the greatest guy I know. I am so thankful that we're together and I am certain he feels the same. He's so supportive of my workouts and I love him for that" But what if you're not exactly best friends with the readers? Should you or would you say things just to taunt them? Ex: "Clint's ex wife Leasha is a tall thin girl. Some people would love to be thin, but I think that pencil legs are out and muscles are in. And my husband personally thinks that tall girls are ridiculous. Surely she doesn't think she's hot." OR.....what if nosey people are reading your blogs just to report your life back to others. Would you put something frivolous on there just to see if it would get around. Example: "I haven't really been losing weight. I've been lying to all of you. I'm really four month pregnant--with twins." Do any of you write things just for your readers? Just wondering.

I'm off to make dinner. Maybe there will be more to follow!

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Dear Readers

I wanted to send a little message to a few of my favorite blog owners and those that read my blog. I never comment on the comments, so here goes. **This is no particular order**

Evelyne-You rock! I'm glad you got to join a gym and are loving those workouts. Yesterday this man was staring at me. He always stares as me, as does his son. Ironically, we go to the gym at the same time and do the same body parts that day. Anyway, I finally said hi and he informed my my form was wrong. Ugggg....He told me to get the Arnold Bible. I think he's just scared of a woman in his weight room. Anyway, keep on kicking butt and thanks for your encouraging remarks.

Tina-You rock too. You're gorgeous and you've come a long way. I'm sorry the comp wasn't all you had hoped for, but the next one will be even better! I better not tell my husband about the Harley pics because you will be his next pretend girlfriend as he will love you forever. He loves A-beautiful women B-Half naked beautiful women and C-Harleys!! I'm so proud of your accomplishments! And thanks so much for inspiring me!

Kelly-You know you rock. I think I tell you that on a daily basis. Remember the paper towel theory. You and I just need to get it unrolling! Of course, as much as you're kicking butt with your workouts, you will see results soon! I'm so grateful that I have you in my life to help keep me on track. Without you, I would be a cow!

Tiffany-You rock too. Yes you do! I can barely do a 5 incline on the treadmill and every time I attempt to, I think about you walking at the highest setting for months. I began this journey trying to inspire and motivate you. You're the one that is motivating! Pretty soon, you will be thinner than your SIL. HEHEHEHEHEHEHE.

Laurie-Are you still alive? I think you rock as well. I just hope you'll pop in soon.

KatieF-Are you alive too? I have some pics from when my (ex) husband went to work in Santa Clara. He went to San Francisco and took pics of seals or sea lions or whatever they are. How's the running going? I'm definitely in awe. As much as I WANT to run, I actually hate it. I thought I could get use to it, but I can't. I've taken to the elliptical, a piece of equipment I previously despised. Oh yeah, you definitely rock with these other gals.

Laura-I think you're having another girl. Just my feelings. Hope the next scan works with the baby's temperament and allows you to see that I am right and she is a girl! Also, I definitely think Mackenzie is a good name. I would love to see preggo pics on your blog! Oh, and you guessed it. I think you are awesome. Ha--you thought I was going to tell you that you rock!

That's all for now. I know I have more readers. Some of you are "secret" readers so I can't personally leave you a message.

Oh more...

Amanda-Every time I read your blog and read about migraines, I get one. I'm dead serious. Look, my head is hurting now. I wish you didn't have to deal with that. How's the new job? I can totally understand the tiredness. All I want to do is sit around and my house is suffering! But, I think that you're doing a great job and of course you rock!

Here ya go blog stalkers

I hate it when my favorite blogs aren't updated, so I thought I would give you all an update.

I have been drinking a gallon of water a day. I should be sipping on this all day, but around 9pm, just an hour before bed, I realize I have like 1/2 of it left. So I start chugging. Sometimes I feel like I want to vomit. You would think I would learn my lesson and would drink it throughout the day but no....

Last night I got in the bath and I drank a good 60 ounces. I was feeling miserable. I can't say that I know how "bloated" feels--ya know--some people say they get bloated during TOM. The only feeling I've ever felt was a full tummy from eating to much. Well let me tell you this, I think I experienced bloating. #1-MY tummy hurt. Not my actual stomach--not the thing that holds food. Just that entire region. This was not a "um, I ate too much" feeling, it was like my intestines, liver, spleen, etc. was floating. AND #2-MY tummy was poofed out like I was 4 months preggo. I couldn't suck it in! I could exhale and blow it out and look like a 6 month preggo chick. WTH? The good news is that I did finish all of the water and got up to go to the bathroom about 4X last night and I woke up with a flat tummy.

Also, I have an obsession with water now. Sometimes I am too exhausted to finish but I know I will wake up to go to the bathroom at night, so I am determined to finish it then. Well, if I leave like 10-20 ounces in the jug, and I get up the next morning an I haven't lost weight, I am kicking myself. somehow I think those few ounces will have made a hug difference. I'm nuts!

Workouts are good. Eating is good. Heck, I'm so darn good, I made a red velvet cake and a cake with chocolate chips, caramel, and chocolate chips and I didn't have any!!! I rock. Today is my official 1 month with Tony and I talk to him tomorrow. I sure hope that lifts my spirits. So far, I've lost like 6 lbs. A little disappointed, but I can see a difference, so all is well.

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Accountability versus Excuses

I tried to post this on my Blackberry but apparently, my Blackberry hates blogger.

I will have to give all of you the condensed version because I am getting a migraine.

I REALLY REALLY wish people would start taking accountability for his/her actions,especially with regards to dieting/working out. I am so tired of day in, day out, hearing excuses...Aunt Sue came in to town so I had to eat bad, I went to my mom's and she made me eat XX, I just had to eat this because I love it so....Those things might not seem like excuses, but let's look at the whole conversation:

I'm up 7 lbs. My Aunt Sue came in to town and I had to eat bad.
I haven't lost any weight in two weeks. It's probably water weight. I went to my mom's 12 times last week and she made me eat this and that. Must be water weight.
I can't seem to lose any weight. I don't know what the hold up is. The only thing I did wrong was go to XX restaurant because I just love that place and HAD to eat there.

Does this make sense yet?

I HATE HATE HATE when people make excuses. Wait, let me rephrase that. I hate it when people FIND excuses to fall off the diet/work out wagon. Oh, Aunt Sue's coming in to town, guess I have to cheat. I'm going to my mom's, guess I have to eat what she made. Oh, you want to go to XX restaurant, I guess I'll go, I can get back on track tomorrow.

The problem is, that with some people, this is an ongoing trend. It's not a slip up every now and again, it's constant, on excuse after the next.

Let me share a slip up with you. A few weeks back I was out of town and my husband told me my food had ruined. I HAD to eat something else. In that situation, there was nothing else to do. I was set to leave, didn't have time to go 32 miles (there and back) then cook, then hit the road. Now, here's where the catch comes in. That particular day, I could've had made MUCH better choices. Instead of the burrito for breakfast, I could've just had the egg. Instead of the burger or whatever I had for lunch, I could've just had the meat. So initially, I DID have a valid reason to eat what was off the plan. But I took advantage of the situation to eat even worse.

Does this sound familiar? Perhaps you don't do it, but you know others that do.

But there are worse scenarios than that. What about those times when you don't even need a true, legit reason. Oh, it's Billy's birthday, I guess I will have just a little piece of cake. Then it turns into a feast---oh darn, I ate the cake, I guess I should have ice cream too. I will get on track tomorrow. Oh, I guess I can have a hot dog or two since I already ate badly.


Then, you wonder WHY you're not losing weight. WHY you're not seeing those muscles. It *could* be water weight, but for Pete's sake, let's face that fact that it *might* be because you ate like 10,000 calories that day.

I just wonder when others are going to catch on and stop making excuses and accept responsibility? Here's what I concluded:

They don't want to lose weight THAT badly if they're not REALLY working at it. Because if you REALLY want to, you will do whatever's necessary to do it.

Working out is hard. Losing weight is hard. But you will make sacrifices to get to where you need to be.

Before I continue, let me say two things:
#1-I'm NOT perfect. Not too long ago I was licking cheese off of Cheeze-Its and chewing up then spitting out candy. And yes, this was not long at all.
#2-There are some situations that come up where we don't have control of the situation. I understand that. I'm just criticizing the situations that we CAN control.

Okay, moving on. This weekend, I watched my family eat Sammies and chips at Quiznos. Today I watched them eat pizza and dessert pizza at Double Dave's Pizza. I ate salad. Yes, I had a piece of turkey and chicken from the girls sandwich, but that was still within my plan. It was hard watching this and smelling the food. I LOVE Quiznos and there's not one in my town, so this was a treat. But I sucked it up and I didn't indulge. I had a million excuses: It's Mother's Day, I can get on track tomorrow, I'm out of town, No One will know, I deserve this. etc. BUT I DIDN'T. Why not? Because I want to be thin. I want to look good. What damn good is that pizza going to do me? It's not. Does food being happiness? In reality, it doesn't. I would've A-felt like crap for having such heavy food and B-felt like crap for cheating. It WASN'T WORTH IT.

I DID have a slip up. I had about 1 tbsp of Goober's PB and J. But there's no excuses attached. No one MADE me do it. I didn't do it for a special occassion. I didn't do it because oh, I love it so and I just HAD to have some. I didn't do it because I had nothing else. I just DID it. And guess what. If I gain weight, it's going to be from that, not from water weight. Look, I took accountability for my actions. YES, I cheated. Now I need to correct it: NO MORE SLIP UPS. I won't get where I need to be if I keep doing that.

Am I going to have to eat green beans and chicken forever? No. This is just a temporary thing...sort of. The plan I am following is VERY similar to The my opinion. Same principles anyway. I LOVE the Zone and it makes sense. Would I mind eating this way forever? Nah. But do I think I will never have pizza ever again? Will I never taste a potato? I doubt it. I'm sure I will...but in moderation on occasion. But can I have it now? No. Not now. Does it suck? Sometimes. But it's not the food itself that gets to me. It's the fact that I CAN'T have it. It's like telling a kid they can't do something. That makes it 10 times more desirable. Anyway, right now, I have to make sacrifices to get to where I want to be. Do you think Stacey or Tina got on that stage by eating Dark Chocolate M and M's daily? NO. They made sacrifices in order to get there.

Not all of us want to hit the stage. I get that. But come on, you DO have to give up things in order to get where you want to be.

My friend Tiffany said she has a sweet tooth and CAN'T live without sweet stuff. I forgot what she's eating to curb that...yogurt maybe. Sorry Tiffany, I do pay attention. My friend Brett said he CAN NOT live without milk---and he drinks like 3 gallons a week--of the FULL fat stuff. The thing is, if something is THAT important to you, you WILL give up those things for that cause. But you HAVE to want it....REALLY WANT IT.

***Side note...Tiffany has lost like 30/40 lbs in the past few months. What did she do? She cut out a lot of bad stuff, started eating healthier, and started walking everyday. And she was doing it on the highest incline everyday. She's doing GREAT.

I'm just rambling. The point is, that these people that are filled with excuses, don't REALLY want to lose the weight. In the back of their mind, they may think they do, but actions speak A LOT louder than words. Look at your life. Have you cheated lately? Was it for a valid reason? Could you have made better choices? If cheating is a trend for you and you're constantly making excuses, you're showing others just how committed you are to losing weight.

Okay, enough of this. Here's the point:
~I'm sick of excuses. Take responsibility. Stop blaming everything on water weight. Stop saying you HAD to eat that. You didn't HAVE to eat at McDonalds. You could've had Subway.
~If you're faced with a bad situation, try to make the best choices. The best option is to pack your own food (which I DID do this weekend!!!) or eat the best possible thing you can find.
~Be an example for others. Don't just say "I want to lose weight, I want to lose weight." You have to walk the walk too!

Good night everyone! Happy Mother's Day.

Friday, May 9, 2008

Friday's Failures

I am exhausted today. I've pretty much felt this way all week. Let me tell you about my downfalls for the day.

I typically work out during lunch, then I go back after work to get in whatever I didn't do at lunchtime or do do my cardio. I was thrown off today. We had Commander's Call at 10:30, followed by Volleyball and a Cookout. Transgression #1--I ate a burger. well, actually just meat, cheese, and ketchup. I didn't bring my chicken and green beans when I went over to set up and I wasn't going to drive back across base to get it. I was starving and, I had skipped out on a cookout on Monday, so I wanted to "fit in" with everyone else. It's not like I made a bad food choice and had a piece of cake. It's just that it wasn't on my meal plan, so I feel like I cheated. Transgression #2-I didn't make it to the gym at lunch. I didn't exactly get to go to lunch. The commander let all the military go early and I was thinking I would get to cut out early too. No such luck. Well, I did get out at 4:00pm. I *should* have went to the gym, but I needed to get groceries for this weekend (more to come) and I was just too exhausted to workout. I would do it at home. Transgression #3-I took a nap and I am still tired and I didn't workout. Transgression #4-I made my husband white gravy and I ate some while I was cooking it. Tony said if you are off with your eating, that's okay, just make sure you get in ALL of your water. Transgression #5-I didn't drink it all. I only got down about 64 ounces. Typically, I would drink the rest over the next hour and call it a night. But I am seriously wiped out. I am going to bed. I can't drink the water. Oh wait, transgression #6-I ate some pickles. The sodium's going to make me retain water and I'm going to gain weight. UGGGGGG.....

Okay, this weekend. I'm headed to San Angelo. Here's what I need to do in order to leave:
Pack clothes
Get clothes out of Expedition in Shop
Find Stamps
Pack Wii
Pack DVD player
Cook Cabbage, Potatoes, and Sausage so cabbage doesn't ruin
Cook Broccoli
Cook Turkey Burgers
Pack my food
Pack their food
Properly install car seat in car
Remove beer from ice chest to put food in
Chest Workout
Bicep Workout

What have I done? NOTHING. I AM going to get up at 5am to do all of this stuff done by 7am so we can leave. The cardio might happen at the hotel. We'll see. The rest HAS to happen. We're leaving around 7:30 so it's got to be complete. I could do most of it now and stay up a little later and sleep until 6, but I'm just exhausted. I think I said that about 10 times now. Is anyone else feeling like this?

Thursday, May 8, 2008

If you have an issue with the message, don't read it

As someone had pointed out to me, this is MY blog and I can say what I want. These are MY thoughts. Not the thoughts of others. If you don't like what I want, then don't stop by. It's plain and simple. There are blogs that I like, that I read everyday. Then there are blogs that I visit once, decide I don't like, and never look back.

Filling you all in, some anonymous coward left a rude comment on the post from yesterday. This person clearly didn't like my blog, think I look like a horse, and says that I am a whiny bitch and if this person had a "really hot wife" he/she would leave her because of it. Well, I don't know what this person took away from my blog, but clearly it wasn't the intended message. If I had to say so, I would say this person is very uneducated and clearly can't read. And I am not quite sure why my husband would want to leave me over that said he texted me Happy B-Day after midnight and that was all I got from him. If a statement like that would set this person off and make him/her want to leave his/her spouse, he/she clearly needs help.

I am not defending my post, by any means. And I do not think that I, or anyone, should have to defend his/her post. I am really sorry if you read my post and don't understand it. If you don't like it, don't read it. The post from yesterday's point was that Birthdays just aren't as great as they seem. As a child, birthdays seem so very important--not just to you but to those all around you. But as we grow up, we discover that it's really not that big of a deal--not to our self or to others (at least not for me). If you didn't get that message, too damn bad.

Am I bothered by what this person said? Absolutely not. This person claimed they put anonymous down because they didn't want others to know they were reading it because they despised my blog. The truth is, that this person is scared and can't come out and reveal their true identity. Why not? Well come on, I could address them personally and point out their flaws. Others could see just how miserable this person is. But by hiding behind anonymous, they avoid confrontation. Am I really going to be bothered that a coward put me down? No way. Because I know that they are very miserable and the only highlight of they day is to make others feel bad. Hopefully one day this person will act like an adult, and will take responsibility for his/her actions and will learn that if they have something to say, say it to one's "face."

Well, Anonymous, let me give you some thoughts. Let me tell you what I think about you.

If you're female, you probably hate your life. If you're married, you're probably in a miserable marriage and your husband can't stand you but is married to you for the kids sake. If you're divorced, he left you because he can't stand you and wanted to be with someone thinner or more attractive. If you believe you're in a happy marriage, you're wrong. You're such a miserable person, your husband can't really stand you, but you're too stupid to see that. If you're single, that's because no one wants to be with you. You have a low self esteem and it makes you feel better, more empowered, to degrade others. There's a really good chance that you're overweight and are unattractive. You probably walk around thinking you're hot stuff, but deep down you know you're not. You referenced my weighing 125. I think that 125 is a number you could only dream about. Get your scale to that # and then you might be happy with yourself and in turn, others may actually like you. People that are happy with their life, doesnt dog others.

If you're male, your most likely married to a very unattractive, heavyset person. You could only wish that she was 125 lbs. You definitely have a small penis and trying to make others feel bad makes you feel like a big man with a big penis. No matter what you do, it's still small.

If you would like to leave your name next time so I can give you the full analysis on what I think of you, please do so.

There is ONE thing that bothers me about hi/her comment. And it's nothing personal to me. I feel really bad for this person. REALLY bad. It's very sad that he/she has such a horrible life and such little self esteem. Its sad that the only thing that uplifts them is degrading others. That's pathetic. I am happy with my life. I am happy with myself. I can get up each morning, look in the mirror, and rejoice because I am please with what I see. I bet this person hates facing themself. Whether their physically unattractive, or just ugly on the inside, I bet that this person hates who they are. I mean, if I couldn't stand myself, I suppose I would go to Kelly's page or Tina's page or whoever's page and rag on them for no reason. Yeah, let me bring these awesome chicks down because I will feel better that I ruined their day. Oh please. Whatever. But you know, some people are that way. The ONLY way they can feel better about their own self is to make others feel worse.

Well, in this Anonymous case, I don't think that he/she will get anything out of it. He/She may think that it bothered me because I posted two posts in response. But again, this person is ignorant and doesn't understand the message in the blog. So let me spell it out: I will not take the advice of a coward. I will not take the advice of a loser. I will not take the advice of someone that hates themself. You can say whatever you want, but I don't care. What you say DOESN'T phase me. I AM better looking than you. I have a better body than you. I have a better life than you. End of story. Move on. If you want to bring someone down, you might want to find someone that is weak. I know you will be back to my blog to see what my response was. My response to you is to stop reading my blog. You hate it. Good. Don't read it. No one is forcing you to. You think I am too whiny. THEN STOP STALKING ME. The end.

For the rest of you, seriously, if you do degrade others on a constant basis, you may want to figure out why you're so unhappy. However, most of my readers seem like pretty happy people. Thank God for them!

Dear Anon

Most people leave anonymous comments because they're cowards and don't have the courage to say things "to one's face." I'm sure your "really hot wife" is far from hot and is probably a cow. Why don't you get a life, get some self esteem, and move on. Just because your life sucks, doesn't mean everyone else's does. I'm really sorry that you're such a negative person and you hate your life so badly that you have to take out your frustration on others. That's very sad. There is help for ugly people like yourself you know.

P.S. I have your isp. I know who you are. Grow up.

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

I'm 364 days from being 30

Birthdays are depressing. When you're younger, the day seems like it will NEVER get here. Then when it does it's like the greatest thing since sliced bread. But is today like that? No.

Starting Sunday, my friend Johnny sent a message on myspace telling me Happy Birthday. Then last night around 10pm, my friend Ruth sent a text. Then at midnight I got an e-card from Kelly, then shortly after I got a text from my husband. So morning rolls around. There was never another Happy Birthday from my husband. I saw him before work and talked to him a few times and saw him twice after work. NOTHING. My mom tried to call, as did my brother, then my sister texted. I got two birthday wishes on myspace and one friend said Happy Birthday in an e-mail, but she was one of the myspace wishers. My dad hasn't called, and my in-laws never call. My MIL typically sends a card, but I got nothing. My 6 year old told me Happy birthday, but the 8 year old had no idea. 1 co-worker said Happy Birthday because I had mentioned my phone was ringing because it was my birthday. Then I told my boss I wanted to skip the gym (I didn't) and go home and take a nap to celebrate my birthday. He KNEW it was my birthday, but it slipped his mind. And two other people I work with KNEW it was my birthday (or at least knew it was May 7) but I got nothing. No Happy Birthday. My boss did say he wish he would've remembered because he would've gotten me a cake. Well, #1-I can't eat it and #2-Kind of like the whole "I want to keep my secretary, but I HAVE to hire you." (Another story in itself) beloved former co-workers....the ones I just left not even a month ago and worked with for a year FORGOT. NO ONE SENT AN E-MAIL. That office actually buys people cakes for their B-Day. Well, I got there right after my birthday last year and left just before this year. I still told them I wanted a cake. I got nothing. And...I had mentioned to another friend in an e-mail that I turned 29 today and he didn't say anything......

Now, let's not hit the comment button and tell me Happy Birthday because you feel bad that I got few B-day wishes. That's not the point. I don't know that there is a point, but here is an observation--I know like 100 people, and today only mattered to like 10. It goes to show that today just isn't an important day. Its an average, regular, plain jane day. I got up, I worked, I will go to bed. Just like any other. I don't know what the big deal was when I was a child. I actually looked forward to getting older. Now I'm not so thrilled. I can remember when my youngest oldest brother was 28. He's going to be 40 this year. Man I feel old. And I'm really not.

On a different note, I was hoping to be 125 for my birthday. I didn't weigh myself because I was banned from the scale, but I assure you I wasn't there...unless I lost 3+lbs since Monday. The 13th will be my one month point. I can already say I've lost 6 lbs. We'll see what the next 6 days brings. I did cheat today. YES, I cheated on my diet. GASP. OMG...if I didn't eat cake, what did I eat? I had about 1/2 teaspoon of light Miracle Whip. I licked the spoon. GASP. The side story is that my husband wanted a sandwich. Well, I didn't want to go home, unload baby and groceries, and make sandwich, re-load baby, then take it to him. So I just grabbed the miracle whip and a spoon--the rest of the stuff was in my car! I made him a sandwich then realized there weren't any napkins to wipe the spoon on. I considered sticking it in a bag, but I didn't want to get it all over the groceries. So I licked the MW off. Shame on me! Then I read the container to see just how many carbs was in it...there's like 2 carbs per like 2TBSP. I'm safe!

I did stare at the candy container today and contemplated eating some...but I refrained! Will-power! I will never be 115 if I eat candy...and miracle whip. Hehehehehehe.

That's it for me. I'm going to finish my water---or try to choke it down. Then it's bath time, then time to cook dinner. Clint's eating cabbage, potatoes, and turkey sausage. YUM. I had a salad and turkey. I *think* I was supposed to eat fish. But I didn't feel like it. The turkey was right there. I would've had to bed over and open a drawer to get the fish. Just too lazy. So I ate the turkey. It's my birthday damn it and I will eat turkey and light miracle whip if I want to!!!!

P.S. I don't like Miracle Whip FYI

Saturday, May 3, 2008


I have about 20 ounces of water left to drink. That would be 20 ounces out of 1 gallon. I tell you, my tummy's full...and I don't know if I can get that last bit down. I look at others blogs for motivation, hoping it can inspire me to get it down. But at this point, I just don't know if I can do it!

I've mentioned this numerous times, but I don't typically consume 64 ounces of liquid a day---that includes water, coffee, diet soda, etc. So I am not consuming twice as much WATER a day. This is my second day in a row consuming that much. Shame on me...I know...but I've only been getting down about 1/2 a gallon lately. Yesterday, I had a gallon of water, plus about 12 ounces more, plus about 8 ounces in my tea. I WILL get the rest of this water down tonight, one way or another. If I have to stay awake 2 more hours in order to get it down, I will!

When I was pregnant with #2, I had water intoxication. YEP, I drank too much water, too fast, and I was SICK. My boss and I were trying to make sure we got in our 64 ounces of water. So, we decided to race. I drank 64 ounces in about 10-20 minutes. Right after, I got the most excruciating headache and I felt sick. I called my OB's office and thankfully got the nurse and she told me to get some Gatorade ASAP. Fortunately, we had Gatorade at the shop. She told me I had drank too much too fast and my body needed electrolytes and I basically had water poisoning. It's kind of scary because not too long ago I read that some woman drank too much too fast and died. (Radio station contest). I'm glad my nurse answered the phone that day!

So, I sit here wanting to just chug the rest of the water, but I have a fear that I may get sick and die! I finished the 1st 1/2 gallon around 7:30. I started the 2nd half around 9. I am just wondering if consuming 64 ounces of water in a 2 hour time frame is a bad thing.

My eating was good today. I just finished a killer arms workout. I hope I'm sore tomorrow! I missed a back workout yesterday. I skipped the gym at lunch. Actually, I bought new running shoes because I had left every pair I own at home (4). then I hit the elliptical for 15 mins. I was going to go back after work but Clint needed me home because the Directv guy was here and he needed to leave to go to work. (This guy ended up spending over fours hours here. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR). So I had to leave work early, get the baby, and head home. I had planned on working out from home but my bowflex wouldn't suffice and I needed the gym equipment. Since there's no one to watch the baby, I couldn't go. I am a little bummed about missing a session, but I will press on and not dwell on it.

alright, I am going to hit the bed. I will drink a little more, then I will finish the rest when Clint comes home around 2am. Gulp Gulp!

Friday, May 2, 2008

I'm on fire!

Let's just hope it's still burning tomorrow!

I confronted my demons, I have shared my downfalls, I have recognized what I need to do, now I need to implement it.

I won't go into much detail here, but I am not seeing the results I want. Yes, I am seeign result, but not like I think I should see. I've assessed what's happened, what's going wrong. It's bascially my fault. The details are privy information, but I got it all out there and hopefully I will be on track now.

Forget that last statement. There's no HOPEFULLY about it. I WILL be on track.

I told myself this morning that I WOULD drink a gallon if water. Guess what. I am staring at 12 remaining ounces.

On a side note..have you ever heard a song that takes you back to a certain time. Maybe not a certain memory...but a certain time? I'm checking out some of my favorite songs on Youtube and I am almost in tears here. I'm brought back to a very happy, yet extremely sad time in my life. I had new found freedom and I was having the time of my life. At the same time, I was going through a divorce, I was on my own for the first time in my life, and my law school career was ending. It was the best time of my life but the worst at the same. Those things led me to where I am today--remarried with a new addition. I don't dwell on the past. I refuse to. What happened happened. It's over. I can't go back so there's no need to ponder if I would've done anything differently. Nevertheless, I had some good times. Some of the best. Maybe I need to face those demons---release the bad, remember the good, and let it go. Here's to 2005! (P.S. I was 115 lbs back then and I was smokin' hot)

Thursday, May 1, 2008

I love it! And I love Pete Wentz too

Yes, I like to work out to this too!

What does it for you?

What music do you like to workout to? I listen to some STRANGE stuff. Here's a preview for you:

There's no video here..just music....

Yeah, I like to run to that song....when I really need to run..when I really need to push myself...I listen to Hurt. Falls Apart. Maybe because I feel like I am going to fall apart. Hehehehehe.

What else??

Well, I LOVE The Killers, specifically Mr. Brightside and Somebody Told Me. For some reason the link said embedding was disabled and I couldn't copy it to show you the video.

I also LOVE LOVE LOVE Hellyeah--You Wouldn't Know. Again, no video, but you can hear the song.

Lastly, for this session, we have Korn-Got The Life. You can watch a lovely Dragonball Z video to hear this song. Damn You Tube.....