Everyday is Thanksgiving

I am so sorry it's been so long since I had a post. I get over to the computer, read some blogs, then I just don't feel like blogging. A lot has been going on in my life, so it's time to play catch up.

So as you all (probably) know, Muscle in the City took place last weekend in Rockford, Il. Tina, Stacey, Angela, and April were competing. A couple of months ago it finally dawned on me that this was in Illinois. Wait, that's where Kelly O. is from. I txtd her to find out how far away it was and when she said 1 hour, I knew I was going to be there. As the comp was getting closer, Clint started going back and forth about how he had a bad feeling about it and didn't think we should go. I teetered back and forth and I was on the side of the fence that didn't want to go. Clint's fears got the best of me--leaving Mackenzie behind, driving in the snow (I am originally from Louisiana and this is about as far north as I have lived. Anyway, I got a text from Kelly one day and I told her I would be there come hell or high water. I was going solo. Then it happened. The Monday prior I got home from work and noticed my throat felt a little funny. Uh oh. Sometimes when I swallow pills that are too small, they get hung up back there. This felt like that. But when I woke up at 2am and my throat was on fire, I knew it was more than that. I won't go in to a day by day analysis of what was wrong with me, but it was some kind of sinus funk that would jump from my head to my chest to my throat. I was sick! Oh crap. I haven't been sick in months. In fact, I can't remember the last time I was sick. I started taking Zicam but it got worse. Clint didn't get it but Mackenzie and I did. WTF???? Needless to say, Rockford was out of the question. What was the part about hell and high water? I felt like complete crap but that wouldn't have stopped me. What stopped me was the fact that I didn't want to get everyone else sick. Poor Kelly has been sick basically all year long with one thing or another and I wasn't going to risk her health. So that's what happened to me. Those other girls were having so much fun I'm sure they didn't notice I wasn't there. But that's what happened to me. I was so sad and in disbelief that I would get sick then, out of all times. Btw, I am STILL sick. It's much better and is going away, but I am not 100% well.

Moving on.

A lot has been going on the last few months. Heck, the last few days have been a handful. I am not going to go into any of the details but I do have something to say. There's so much in your life that you can be thankful for. We celebrate Thanksgiving to give thanks, yet we should be giving thanks everyday. Here's a short list.

I am thankful for my husband. We may have our disagreements and don't see things eye to eye, but doesn't everyone? I would rather have him in my life and have some rough patches than to not have him at all.

I am thankful for all of my kids. It may be a pain in the butt to have to drive 4 hours and stay in a hotel or drive back 4 hours to come home with them (Hanna and Hailey). It may be difficult to have my step-daughter over because she is being raised in a completely different environment and doesn't seem to be able to catch on to how we do things. It may be a hassle to take care of every one of Mackenzie's demands. But it is soooooooooooooooooooooooooo worth it. Our family is pretty darn great and I am thankful for it.

I am thankful that I am losing weight once again. For right now, I might not be able to lift a 20lb dumbbell like I could a few months ago, but I am still thankful the weight is coming off. And soon enough I will be lifting like I was months ago.

I am thankful for my job that I truly hate. I could be unemployed or I could be making less money. I am thankful I am not. I do pray I could get a different job, but I need to embrace what I have.

I am thankful for my mess house. I have the ability to clean it, and I will. I am thankful I am able to clean my own house.

I am thankful for my friends. I hate the fact that Kelly is so far away, but I am thankful she is reachable by phone, text, or email. She's the glue that keeps me together sometime.

Go out and think about all you're thankful for. I could tell you why I am thankful for every part of my life, but I will leave you with the short list.

Award!

Evelyne has given me the Kreativ Blogger Award. Awwwww...thanks!

I have to list 6 things that make me happy then tag 6 people.

1-I love it when everyones blogs are updated so I can sit down and read

2-I love to hear babies laugh, especially my babies. I can still remember Hailey's first laugh (she's 7 now). If you want to feel all warm and fuzzy, listen to Mackenzie's.

3-I love sleeping in. It doesn't happen often, but when it does, I am very happy.

4-Getting personal emails makes me happy. Forwards are fine, but I really like the messages that are written for me.

5-I am really happy when I get off the leg press, knowing I just moved a hell of a lot of weight!

6-United Marketstreet stores. I found Ezekiel Bread, English Toffee Stevia, and Bragg ACV there. I don't have to pay taxes on these items, or shipping charges, and they're cheaper than on the internet! (But the store is 3 hrs away)

Ok, so now I get to give the Kreativ Blogger Award to 6 people. Let's see..

1-Jess

2-Tiffany

3-Mandy Jo

4-Laura

5-Tina

6-Angela

Finding you

There are so many thoughts swarming in my head right now. They've been swarming my entire life. I have always felt like a butterfly, trapped in a cocoon, about to fly out. It's like I am right there, I know it's time, I can feel that it's getting close and I am just waiting to be set free. That's how I feel with my life. I KNOW I am meant to do something big. I don't necessarily mean big like going on to be an Oscar winner. It's funny that some of the smallest actions in the world can lead to big results. Let's take the cashier at your local grocery store and ponder her story. I don't know what you all do for a living, but being a cashier isn't a luxurious job. I didn't aspire to become a cashier and I don't know anyone who did. I am not saying that being a cashier is degrading, but it's not one of the most prosperous jobs one can have. When I walk in the grocery store, I don't see this cashier as an important person. For crying out loud, I can go through a self-checkout at 90% of the stores I visit, so having a cashier isn't necessary. But how many of you have been in the grocery store and you're frustrated about your day--maybe your boss ticked you off, you busted a deadline, your kids are fighting, or the store didn't have the creamer you wanted. Then you go up to checkout and suddenly you are greeted by the most pleasant person ever. Your mood was suddenly uplifted and you day is no longer ruined by that foul mood you were in. And guess what, it was because of the kind words of the cashier--the very one that you didn't feel had an important job. In the grand scheme of things, she isn't out there doing anything BIG, but because of her actions, she's done a grand thing. So that's just one example of how something small can be big. Anyway, I've always known that I was meant to do something big. For the longest time, I thought I needed to use my political science degree coupled with a juris doctorate (law school) to become a political activist or lobbyist. There are so many wrongs I have tried to right and I thought that my political knowledge and legal knowledge would help me help other more effectively. I still believe that and I do intend on going back to law school one day. But what about the mean time? Why do I still feel like I am on the verge of breaking out of that cocoon? I still feel this empty void--I KNOW I am meant to do something. But what? Am I limited to just one thing? Well lets start with what I do know. When I say I am meant to do something big, what am I referring to? Making a lot of money? Helping others? Well I would LOVE to make a lot of money. But I think that I am meant to help others. There is a plethora of ways to help others--counselling, personal training, blogging, etc. I was in the Air Force and I felt that my job was helping those planes get off of the ground. And it was. I worked in a child support office and I felt that I was helping those men and women get the support they deserve. I worked for a college as an academic advisor and I felt that I was helping students map their degree plans to enable them to go out and do something big. There are a lot of things I do where I walk away feeling satisfied, like I have done what I am meant to do. Of course, with all of those things, there was some dissatisfaction because there were principles or policies I didn't agree with. The Air Force "kicked out" thousands of members because they were doing a reduction in force. There were people that wanted nothing more than to stay in but they got booted. I thought it was awful that a woman could keep the paternity of her child a secret for years then come in one day and ask for child support then suddenly they can go back and make this unsuspecting "father" pay FIVE years of support for a kid he didn't know existed. Instead of asking for support from the beginning and giving this guy a chance to make payments each month so he's not carrying around a debt, he's suddenly stuck with a $20,000 debt that is reported to the credit agency each month. How is that fair to "punish" him when the woman never bothered to get child support or to let him know he had a child before then? (I am sure that many of you will argue that SHE deserves the support and it was her that took care of the kid those 5 years. Sure, she deserves the support, but shouldn't she have asked for it from the beginning?--anyway, that's a different topic). How is it fair that a college won't let you take a class online if it's offered on campus? If I want to take it online, then there is some reason that I am not going to sit in the class. So if you don't let me take it online, I'm still NOT going to sit in a class room. The point is that with everything, there will be both the good and the bad. I can do something BIG, but it's not going to be 100% satisfaction each and every day. Now some of you might say that if you aren't satisfied, then you should find your true passion and do what you love. But even when you do things you love, aren't there bad things that happen too? Maybe you're working out and you get a cramp and can't go on. Or maybe you love to watch TV and you're watching your show then the electricity goes off. Those are bad things that interfere with something you love. But do we let this spoil it? Do we never go to the gym again because of a cramp? NO. Do you never watch TV again because you're afraid the power may go off again? No. You deal with what is dealt to you and you press on, doing what you love, doing what you're meant to do.

So I have obviously touched on several topics here. How does this all tie together? Well, I am meant to do something big, and I want to help people, and I want to do something I love. Of course, there will be times that things don't go my way. But I have to keep going.

So now the question is: What do I want to do? What am I close to doing?
Honestly, I don't know. But I know it's close. I can feel it.

Now the question is posed to you. What do you want to do? Are you meant to do something big? Are you going to get to it even though you're faced with difficulties?

I am. I am out finding me. Now you need to go out and find you.

Last day off

I've had 4 days off. Nice. too bad this is my last one. You know you really don't like your job when you get a knot in your stomach the day before you have to go to work. This ALWAYS happens. My job is pretty easy, but I am getting more and more piled up on me and I don't like that. I so need a vacation! We did take Mackenzie to daycare yesterday while Clint has some blood work drawn and we just left her there for the day because she was sleeping when it was time to get her. So I came home and took a nap. It was the first in a long time and it was awesome! I tried to take one a little while ago but Clint called and woke me and once I get woke up, I have a hard time falling asleep again.

So Clint is hypoglycemic. He needs to eat 5 times a day--high protein, low carb--or should I say, he needs good carbs. It's no wonder he's that way. This morning he ate like 1/2 a bag of M&M's in one sitting. Anyway, my grocery bill is going to go up, but it's going to be so much easier staying on track with both of us eating that way. Of course, with him I do have some flexibility--I will feed him bread--whole wheat bread--pasta--whole wheat pasta--and rice--brown rice. But not much. I am going to try to make this a good experience for him. If I had him eating tuna and green beans all the time, he would hate life in 2 days. So I need to be adventurous, but in a healthy way. Tonight is going to be black-eye pea salad--brown rice, butternut squash, blackeyes. YUM. It's from the Clean Eating Magazine site. but wait--that's not high in protein. That's why I have fish, turkey, chicken, and beef thawing!!!

I really need to get off my booty and workout. I am pretty darn tired. Somehow I think that by sitting here, I will suddenly be full of energy. It never happens that way does it?

I suppose I am going to get off of here. I will leave you with 7 random facts about me. I am not going to tag anyone because everyone I would want to tag has already been tagged.

1-I am deathly afraid of mice. When I was little, my brothers told me the red light on my aunt's fire alarm was a big rat watching me and he was going to come get me. Clint thinks it's stupid that I am so afraid. He doesn't understand. Of course, if it doesn't happen to him, he never understands.
2-I need like 9 hours of sleep. Again, another thing Clint doesn't understand. Because he can thrive on 6 hours of sleep, he thinks everyone should.
3-I don't like peanut butter.
4-I like to boil eggs then put them in pickle juice.
5-I really don't like eggs
6-I don't like the taste of meat. I have to use something to cover up the taste--ketchup, mustard, steak sauce, hot sauce, salsa, etc.
7-The labels on my canned goods have to face the right way. If not, I get the creepy crawlies.

Lounging

Happy Saturday. I have been sitting at the computer for an hour or so and I decided to get off to go do something else but then I forced myself to come over here to blog. I haven't been blogging lately because I really didn't have anything to blog about. But now that I am typing, things are starting to come to mind.

I am off until Wednesday. The base Commander gave the military a day off for going 97 days DUI free, so I got to take a day of leave. They really don't want civilians there unsupervised. Then Tuesday is Veterans Day so I am off for that. I did bring some work home because I have been swamped at work and I can't seem to get ahead. I feel like i am drowning. I got a job offer in Guam, but Clint doesn't want to live on a tiny island. For me it's perfect because A--I did this job while I was in the Air Force and I loved it B--I know the person that's hiring. In fact, I use to work with her here and she I would be working under her there. She wanted me to work directly for her before, but I couldn't. C--I know 2 other people over there. But no, Clint didn't want to go. Of course, there were other issues I would've had to work out, but since he said no, there's no use dealing with them. Anyway, I want a new job because I am struggling. So to help me out, I am going to do some work from here and go in on Monday for a few hours to catch up.

I am on my last book in the Twilight series. Yay! I've kind of been devoted to those the last week or so. I started reading book one a week ago. 4 books in a week is a record for me. I don't think I am going to go back to the Wicked series just yet because there's so many other things I need to focus on.

What else should I focus on? For starters, cleaning my house and laundry. Before I go read, I need to put a load of clothes and dishes in to wash. I also need to get caught up with some school work for myself, then some school work for Clint (I'm helping him study, but I have to grasp it first. It's just psychology so I am merely refreshing my memory). I also want to get a Masters and would like to get back to school in January. The problem is that I don't want to go to class. The nearest school is 70 miles away. The only online program from that college is the MBA. Not my cup of tea. Been there, done that, it sucks. They have a Masters in Science in Behavioral Science in Psychology, but they only offer 1 class online per semester. I've looked at University of Phoenix and Kaplan, but nothing appeals to me. The MPA isn't so bad, but I'm really not interested. I could do an advanced degree from OU, but I think I owe them money. I'm not sure though. So, I need to find a college with a degree that interests me. I'm not sure why I am fooling myself--the only thing that interests me is law school. But that's TOO far away, geographically. If I quit once before because I was 70 miles away, I don't think 200 miles away would work out well.

My eating has been fine. I will start working out again this week. I tell ya, the Gazelle is the greatest piece of cardio equipment I have ever been on.

I'll write more later.