Dallas

I just got back from Dallas. Well, not exactly Dallas, but I was in the area. We had to take Mackenzie to a doc in Plano and we ended up visiting Clint's family. We went to his Aunt Ginger's house where I met 3 cousins and their kids and visited with 2 of his uncles. It was a nice visit. We ended up staying the night at a hotel in Addison. We couldn't find it, we down the street a few blocks, I saw a similar hotel but I knew it wasn't the right one. I was puzzled when I saw that particular hotel because there were only 2 listed for Addison. This morning I was looking up our hotel on the internet to see what attractions were nearby and I realized the other hotel was in Dallas. Huh? A hotel 5 blocks from the hotel we were staying in Addison was in Dallas? That was weird. It's not REALLY strange at all. I am sure that you all that live in big cities know that going from one of the suburbs to the next is exactly like that. I've just been in small town Oklahoma so long that it was weird. I mean, when you go from one town to another here you know it. It's like town---five miles of fields--other town. It's nuts. We were going to go to Louisiana to visit my family but Clint said he didn't want to, so I stopped packing. Once we got down to Dallas he decided he wanted to, but we didn't have anything to wear, etc. So, we're home. We may have a trip planned in the near future though.

Things are going well here. Scale is hovering at 123! That excites me. I am sooooooooo close!!

That's all I have. Sorry it's not fitness related. Just don't have that much to say right this minute!

My Christmas Gift

Let's see, I got a crabby kiddo that doesn't want to open her Christmas presents, a husband that made a kick ass "meat roll" for breakfast, a headache that loves me so much it's been here for days, a backache that is best friends with the headache, an interrupted nap that was interrupted by my other two fabulous children, and a text message from my brother. Merry Christmas to me!!!

There are some not so pleasant things on the list, but today is fantastic otherwise. I could live without this headache and backache. I went through this a couple of months ago--3 week long headache that required chiropractic visits to cure it. Could be from stress??? What a great time for this to happen! My nap was going well but my daughters called so it was worth the interruption. My brother texting me is a good thing--I guess. he was my favorite brother and I loved him more than anything but for whatever reason, we haven't talked in a little over 3 years. I truly can't tell you what the reason is. Hurricane Katrina happened and we never talked again. A few weeks ago I texted his 17 yr old daughter--got her number from her myspace--and she made it clear she didn't want to talk to me. She was mad because I left all of them. (At 18, I went in the Air Force, and didn't move back home)So it's a surprise to hear from my brother. His texts have been funny and he said he loved me and he would call later. I really don't know if I am ready for an emotional reunion. I am certain it won't be a hi, how are you doing--we will discuss things. Not sure if I am ready to discuss anything. It really is a wonderful thing that he has texted me. It's really the greatest Christmas gift ever. I loved him so much and I truly can't believe it's been so long since we have been in contact. He's 11 years older than I. I was in 2nd grade and he moved to Atlanta and I cried and cried. I remember the day he came home like it was yesterday. I worshipped this guy. I followed him around as much as I could. He was the cool one. Even after I grew up, I still talked to him the most. (I have two other older brothers) I thought the coolest thing in the world was that his daughter and my daughter were born in the same year--his daughter Kaicee was born exactly 4 months after my birthday and my daughter Hailey was born exactly 4 months before his. My oldest brother called once to tell me this brother was in a car accident and he was hurt, but he would be fine. When he told me, I remember my heart falling to my stomach and it felt like I had just died. This guy was the first person I called when I was 19 and had just found out I was (unmarried) pregnant. He was the one I called when I was getting a divorce. Minus my kids and husband, the two people that mattered the most to me in this world was my great grandmother and him. My great grandma passed away 9 and a half years ago so I can't do anything to have her back. So I am a pretty lucky girl to have my brother back.

Life is good. I wish you all a very Merry Christmas. My year has been so very blessed since I have come across all of you on blogger.

Kelly-You are my best friend--my soul twin. I love you and I can't wait to see our results next year.

Tiffany-I've known you for a long time. You're crazier than I ever imagined. I'm so glad we reconnected. You know you wish I was your SIL.

Evelyne-You're an amazing woman. You don't give yourself enough credit. You inspire so many. I am glad I found you.

Tina-You my dear are part of the reason I am here where I am today. Your transformation inspired me to get off my booty and get the body I wanted. There are so many women out there that are very inspiring, but YOU are the one that did it for me.

Angela-We can't forget about you. I've been following you for quite some time and have watched your transformation. You had the courage that so many of us only dream about--you stepped up on that stage. You had a dream and you grabbed it. I can't wait to see what more will come.

April-Moose Munch. I am in Oklahoma in podunk so I never thought I would understand what this was--but I saw it the other day. I immediately thought of you! I enjoy reading your blog and can't wait to see your progress this year. With your determination, you will have your Muscle Girl.

Stacey-WOW. You look amazing. Your blogs are so witty and catchy. You're gonna rock it at the Arnold.

Hayley-It was very nice chatting with you. I hope everything is well. We will reach our goals before we know it and we will do it in a sane manner!

Beka-How's Oklahoma? I have to admit, your blog took a twist that I didn't see coming. I never expected you to be a coupon cutting farmer! That's awesome. I grew up with animals and a garden. Can't wait to see what you do in Oklahoma.

Jessica-If I ever have any other kids, I want to be just like you. Your attitude is fantastic--most people think they're preggo so that means they have to eat like a grown man and sit on their bum. (I did!). I love love love that you are are working out. Before "I Define Me", my blog was titled "One Hot Momma". That title needs to go to you!

Jess-Aloha! I love your blog. I am so envious at times--I wish I were there in Hawaii. It seems like you've had such an amazing life. I would love to have experienced 1/3 of what you have. I can't wait to see what 2009 brings-besides Chuck!

Alright you all, there are many many more I would love to address--Erin, Laura, Mandy Jo. I will get to everyone soon. Mackenzie is up and I need to coax her into opening some more gifts.

Merry Christmas!

Tuesday

Happy Tuesday Everyone!

I am home today with a sick kiddo. She seems to feel better during the day but it's rough at night. I took her to the dr and she basically has "the crud." She has a fever first thing in the morning so I don't want to take her to daycare and have to get called to pick her up. And she sporadically coughs her little head off.

On a happy note--I was 123.4 on the scale today and I hopped off, got back on, and it stayed the same. Maybe it was warm today?? Bottom line is I am losing weight!!!!!! FINALLY!

Now, on to answer some comments.

Kelly--I have met some great people on here. I feel I learn so much from everyone every time I read a blog. I don't have a problem with anyone I "know", it's mainly random people out there that I staggered upon that definitely put their ego first. Perhaps these people just think they are displaying confidence while the rest of the world views it as cockiness. I don't know. I just had to point it out because it was something that really annoyed me in the wee hours of the morning. To see "look at me, look at me" then to boast that you're "popular" is humorous and pathetic at the same time. Quality entertainment.

Erin--I do have the experimental body. Don't get me wrong, I DO see *some* results from working out and eating perfectly (like green beans and tuna). But I have found that the absolute best thing for me to lose the weight is to do nothing more than cut back on what I eat. I picked up running for a little while last year and for the 3 weeks I did it, I packed on some lbs and my clothes were getting tighter. I had some people tell me I was building muscle and after about 6 weeks in to it, I would start to lose. I had others tell me that I *must* be eating more since running raises metabolism, makes you hungry, and in turn, you eat more. I had to stop to get the scale to go back down!!! So yes, it can be frustrating!

Tea--Mackenzie seems to be getting better--thanks! I don't usually criticize people, but after coming across *so* many people that were begging for attention on different sites, I had to mention that it was annoying. It is funny to see if from afar and think "Are you kidding me?!?!" but after seeing it over and over again, it got old! I think I need a new scale. I went through 3 to get to this one, but I guess it's time to move on!

Before I go, I just want to leave a little message for a few people out there.

Tiffany--The Twilight Bag at Hastings was $15.99. Remember, the one I didn't get. It's like $45 on eBay. Why didn't I go grab it? Would've been a GREAT Christmas present for someone in Louisiana.

Tina--How are you??? Haven't heard from you much these days. Pudding shots?? never heard of them but sounds yum!

Evelyne--Are you alive? I never hear much from you these days. We need a vlog.

Hayley--How's everything going with you?

Alright, I can not ignore Mackenzie's sad pleas any longer. (sitting in her bed saying "Down, down" in a pathetic little voice.

Oh--has anyone tried Honeycrisp Apples???

Scale, Observation, and Me

I hopped on the scale this morning and it read....drum roll please....

123.2

I decided to get off, remove my bra, tank, and yoga pants for a more accurate reading.

Big sigh.

124.6.

Huh?? I gained weight by removing my clothes???? The scale did that yesterday too. I was like 124.2 and I got off, got back on and it was at 125. I've noticed that every time I buy a digital scale, the things gets cold and it is no longer accurate. The first time I had one, it was in a bathroom that didn't have heat, so that's how it was cold. Now this scale is in my kitchen on the tile and there's no heat in my kitchen. Could someone please tell me how the cold affects the calibration????

So, maybe I am down to 123, maybe I'm not. Either way, I am not really sweating it. I can look at myself and see I am thinning out. I saw a picture at work that was taken on the 12th and I gasped and said "OMG, my arms are tiny. Why didn't you all tell me my arms are so small." This is a good thing and a bad thing. I am glad they're small. That means I don't have the fat, chicken wing arms. At the same time, I've lost some muscle there as well. I don't want man arms, but I do want some guns!!! I'll save this for the me section.

My child is sick. She woke up the night before last throwing up and she has been coughing since then. I thought she was vomiting because she found a sippy cup with rotten milk in it and might have taken a sip, but as her coughing progressed, I think she may have been coughing which caused her to gag and in turn, vomit. (Although there is a distinct difference in the smell if you have a tummy bug or if you just gagged..and that night it did smell like she had a stomach issue) That just happened to us in Wal-Mart and it WAS because she coughed so hard she gagged. Yeah, gross. I digress. Last night I got up around 2:30 am to get her some medicine. I had to go walk around the house looking for cough medicine so I was up for a good 10 minutes with the lights on. I couldn't go back to sleep after that so I grabbed my blackberry. I decided to read some blogs, check out myspace, and twitter. I have a habit of going to a friends page then veering off and checking out blogs he or she reads, or checking out his or her friends and clicking on others from there. You never know when you might come across a blog you love or find a person that is really cool. But that's not what I found last night. What I found was really pathetic. I found people on twitter begging for more followers. I found people begging others to read his or her blog. I found people on myspace begging others to leave them comments. It's not like it was something personal to another member like "Hey Kelly, stop by my blog, you're going to love my latest post" it was like "Okay everyone, I have a new blog up and you MUST read it." Maybe you don't see the difference in my example but trust me, the latter was pathetic. the thing I observed about these people is that they really think they're cool and or popular because they have a lot of followers or a lot of readers or a lot of comments. The things is, the ONLY reason they have followers, readers, comments, fans, etc. is because they begged people to do it. If I got on twitter and every other hour I was leaving a comment like "Ok guys, get over to my blog, check me out" then I would have a million hits a day. It's one thing to do that and acknowledge that you only have traffic because you're out there selling yourself, but these poor pathetic souls REALLY think they're popular. If you have to ask someone to vote for you, or to read your blog, or to leave you a comment, then you are quite the opposite of popular. You're having to ask for attention because no one is giving it to you because people really aren't that in to you. Again, it's one thing to tell your readers "hey you guys, I posted some pics from my holiday trip in my album, check them out if you want" but is a totally different beast when you're telling people "Okay fans, why don't you go to my page to check out the pics of my rock hard abs" then 20 minutes later you're leaving another message on twitter/myspace/facebook saying "Oh come on, only one person checked out my abs, everyone can see how hot I am on my blog." GET A LIFE LOSER. Also, I've noticed that these very same people are SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO condescending to others. Its as if this new found (begged for)"popularity" has gotten to them and they suddenly think they're in a class with someone like Monica Brandt or Jenny Lynn or Cynthia Herndon! I found things like this "It's cold outside, I think I am going to have some hot chocolate" and Mr./Ms. Condescending would snidely reply "I don't dare touch the stuff. You can't have a 6 pack if you poison yourself with that crap. If you want to look like me, you need water and green tea only." Now that was just an example, but there is a much better way to address your thoughts such as "Hot chocolate sounds good. I try not to drink the stuff because it tends to mess with my physique. I am so envious of you--it sounds better than my water and green tea. Enjoy!" Of course, i am not an advocate of being fake either. If you're not a nice person, then don't try to woo readers by being what you're not. With that said, if you come off as a raging bitch, chances are you WILL have to beg people to befriend you or leave you comments. Wait--do you see a trend here??? Those people that are begging others to read their blog, or look at their abs, or leave them comments are the very same people that talk down to their readers. HMMMMMM??????

Truly, I don't care if I have 6000 followers on Twitter (I don't even know if its allowed) or if I have 100,000 hits a day on my blog, or if I have 1200 friends on myspace. For these people, it's all about numbers. They think they're the cool kid if they're being followed. If you had to constantly tell people to read your blog, or ask others to leave you comments or to add you as a friend, then you need to wake up--the ONLY reason you have high numbers is because YOU HAD TO ASK PEOPLE TO FOLLOW YOU ---THEY DIDN'T DO IT BECAUSE THEY LIKE YOU BECAUSE IF THEY DID, THEY WOULD ALREADY BE YOUR FRIEND OR WOULD BE READING YOUR FAKE BLOG. Now, of course, there are people out there that DO have a legitimate fan base. These people are reading their blogs because they somehow stumbled across it and they love it. They're following these people on twitter because they like the person, not because the person asked them. They're leaving comments because they enjoy conversing with this person, not because this person had to ask for the comments. There is a difference there, a BIG difference. The person that asks for attention will soon lose the crowd. People will get tired of the condescending remarks and the constant "hey look at me." The person that has a large following because people actually likes him or her will only get more popular because more people will be drawn in. I really feel sorry for the person that has to beg people to pay attention...

Of course, if one of those people ever read this post, he or she would roll his or her eyes and think I am just jealous that I don't have as many people paying attention to me. You tell yourself whatever you need to make yourself sleep better at night. Hey, why don't you ask more people to read your blog so it can boost your self esteem because heaven knows you really need it.

And to all of you that are reading this blog, thank you. Thank you for coming here on your own accord--whether you like my posts or you just stumbled across me on someone else's page. I appreciate you stopping by. And I sincerely mean that. I am thankful that I've never had to beg anyone to come here. But more importantly, I am thankful that I have wonderful people like you in my life. Each and every one of you inspire me in some way. I could list something about each of you but this post is getting long enough. Thank you.

Now, lastly....me.

I am ready to start working out again. I feel it!!! As you know, I took some time off. Work was hectic, we were travelling alot. But now I am ready. I see that I am making progress by losing the weight and I believe that working out might accelerate that. some of you might be thinking "duh...you would burn more calories and would lose more weight." Yeah, I know scientifically, I should lose more weight if I work out. But there is one little secret you all don't know---I defy science. Well, at least I defy medicine. I will be in the middle of having an asthma attack, the dr. can hear me wheezing from across the room, but as soon as the stethoscope hits my chest, my airways are clear. Hot baths/showers/steam are supposed to help clear up the lungs during an asthma attack--it actually makes mine worse. Humidifiers are supposed to be great during the winter to put moisture back in the air that was replaced with dry heat. Yeah, they give me a nasty sore throat and dry me out. When I was in the hospital for suspected appendicitis, they didn't think I had it because A-my white blood cell count wasn't elevated and B-I had no rebound pain. I guess it was supposed to get worse when the doctor pressed in and let go. A CT scan revealed nothing, as they really didn't even see my appendix. The surgeon said he thought I had Crohn's disease but was going to do surgery regardless because that was their policy that way they could rule out appendicitis if this ever happened again. Needless to say, my appendix had ruptured. Huh??? But you really didn't have the scientific symptoms. The moral of the story is that typically, my body does what it shouldn't do. It would be my luck that I would do cardio, would not eat anything more, and would gain weight. I am dead serious. But...I am not going to let that scare me. I am going to listen to my body and my "cravings." If I have this overwhelming sensation to workout, my body clearly knows it needs it. The same thing applies when I need a nap. That's my body telling me it needs a break. I guess my body is now telling me it feels fat or needs some energy or something;-) So we shall see....maybe I will pose later with workout results.

Have a great Sunday. Christmas is a few days away. Oh joy.

Ouch

My shoulder is killing me. After a few days of it, I had a massage and not it hurts worse. Icing it now.

Clint's asking for the laptop so I am going to get off of here. I just wanted to pop in to say hi. I've been in quite a few stressful situations this week so I am exhausted. I need a break before I break!

Hola!

Hello fans! Oh, that was arrogant wasn't it? Nothing like someone constantly complimenting themselves and begging for attention;-)

Ok, on a serious note, hello everyone. It's Sunday. I had an okay weekend. Nothing to write about. I am suffering from RLS (Restless Leg Syndrome) right about now so I am not a happy camper. For those of you that don't know what it is, it feels like your legs have creepy crawlies and you want to move them to make it stop. I am going to see my dr. tomorrow so maybe she can give me something for it. There's a new drug out. It starts with a "R" I think. I want to say it's relpax but that's for migraines. I hope she's heard of it and can help me. Some nights I have to take pain pills to knock me out to get rid of it. Sometimes pain medication aggravates it. GRRRRRR. I think I would rather have leg pain than this. It's more annoying than anything.

I have been itching to start working out again. I had a pretty busy day today with housework and last minute school work. I have a month before another semester so maybe I can get back in the swing of things. I just need to put my gym clothes in the car!

I still have a lot to do. I bought some kids a couple of gifts that I need to wrap and deliver. We have an "Angel Tree" program on base. Pink and blue angels are attached to trees with kids ages. Last year the child's age, likes, and clothes size was on the tag but not this year--age only. I hated to buy clothes but if these are lower income families, I am sure clothes are always needed. I got a 4 yr old and 7 yr old girl so I bought size 4 and 7 clothes. But this doesn't work for everyone. When Hanna was 2, she wore 12-18 month clothes. When Hailey was 2, she wore size 2. Chunky monkey Mackenzie wears a 3 at the age of 2. So you just never know. Anyway, I haven't finished shopping for my kids, but I did get stuff for others!!!! Now I just have to wrap it. I am soooooooooooooooooooooooo bad at wrapping and mailing things.

Eating has been ok lately. I drank quite a bit more water today than usual but now my fingers are swollen. I feel like I have sausage fingers. Not cool. I did eat a small bowl of chicken noodle soup so maybe that did it?!?

I'm sorry that I don't have anything great to post. I am going to start cooking some clean meals this week and I will post pics. I am dying to make some Leek and Potato Soup but I really need a food processor to do it. The last time I put it in the blender, I got burned.

Ok, I am off. Have a fantastic evening. More to come tomorrow!

Dear Stalker

Dear Stalker,

Hello Cupcake. I know you're reading this right about now. Creepy. I think you might find better information in your email fatty;-) Happy reading.

Love,
Carrot Dangler


**********************************************************************

For all my other readers, no, I am not an arrogant blogger that thinks she has so many followers and she's sooooooooooooooooooooooooo popular that she's being stalked. No I am not a mean blogger that walks around making fun of people's weight and putting them down by calling them fat. No, I am not a blogger that puts hidden meanings in my blogs. Wait...yes I am. HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE.
This blog is directed at a friend that *should* understand what this means. If not, he or she really is a nerd.

Salad...yum!!!!

Dinner tonight is Brussels sprouts and a salad made of a baby romaine mix and red bell peppers topped with boneless buffalo chicken (it's chicken breast cooked in hot sauce!)

I have been craving healthy food lately. Some people crave junk food--burgers, pizza, tacos, whatever. Lately I have been craving clean, healthy foods. That's always a good thing right?

I really need to go grocery shopping to get some food in the house. I have some apples, bananas, and oranges. OHHHH...I also have some bok choy to make bok choy stir fried noodles with shrimp. It's from one of Tosca Reno's books. I keep forgetting to buy green onions. Anyway, I can not shop on base anymore so that means there are 3 grocery stores I can shop from in town--2 United Supermarkets and 1 Wal-Mart. United is so outrageous. It's not even a high end grocery store but the prices are too high for my liking. Sometimes there are good deals in the produce department. I need to do most of my shopping at Wal-Mart and I tell you I want to scream when I walk in there. That place is a mad house, especially with the holiday season. I walk in there and lose my mind and don't get half the things I need. This needs to change!!

I also need to pack my lunch. There have been too many occasions of eating out for lunch. I realize you can make "better" choices while dining out. And I do. But I am getting tired of fast food. Previously I would cook several meals on Sunday to have throughout the week. I need to get back to that again. Now I am not talking about cooking enough food for 6 perfect meals a day. I do not want to do that again. Well, at least not now. But I would like to make several meals so that A--I don't have to come home to cook at night and B--I can have lunch from home.

Speaking of cooking, my chicken is ready and I want to eat. Notice, I didn't say I need to eat, or it's time to eat, or I have to eat. I am eating because I am hungry. I am eating because I want to, not because the clock is telling me it's time. The only clock I am paying attention to these days is that clock that growls in my tummy letting me know I want to eat :-) It's nice.

Happy Birthday Fat Baby. Love, Skinny Momma

Of course Blogger uploaded them in the wrong order. But what you see is Miss Mackenzie on December 7, 2008, December 7, 2007, and December 7, 2006. Wow has she changed. Happy birthday baby!

124.6

Yep, the scale is creeping down. Slowly but surely. I couldn't wait for the day that I could break 125. That day has come. It actually came a few days ago. Wonder if I will see 120 by the end of the year?

So what's my secret? Evelyne said I need to tell. I suppose I should. But first we need to look at what I've done so far.

Tomorrow my baby will be 2 years old. Two years ago I was sitting at 164 lbs. When I had my first dr. appointment when I was 9 weeks pregnant, I weighed 124 lbs. Wow, I didn't realize that's the weight I am now. When I started work in February 2007, I weighed around 137 lbs. I spent the next year "dieting." I would try to work out some. I would eat healthy. I tried several different diet plans. I was getting a little smaller, but the weight really wasn't coming off. Around May I hired Tony after stating that I was going to do this on my own. It was obvious I couldn't and so many people had great success due to his program. I lost 8 lbs in the first month. Then my progress stalled. There were times when I didn't totally follow the plan--I might have been eating the food but not working out as much or not sticking to the meal plan 100% but would workout. I would lose a little weight, then gain a little back. In November, I decided to move on. I felt I was wasting my time and his time by continuing. I really needed to save the $$ and I wasn't able to work out like I should. I thought it was best to save my $$ and free up his time so he could focus on other clients. Here it is a month later and I am 5-10 lbs lighter. Huh, 5-10. What? One night, I weighed 136 on my scale, with clothes, after dinner. Last week, same conditions, I weighed 126. That looks like a 10 lbs loss to me. Yet I was in my doctors office the other day and I weighed myself. I was 132 on her scale on October 30. It was the afternoon, with clothes. On Thursday I was 127. That's just a 5 lbs loss. I distinctly remember going to her office on October 30 and telling her my scale said I was 134 that morning. The nurse and I was discussing the 2 lb difference and how their scale usually has patients heavier than they are. This morning I was 124.6. Looks like a 10 lb difference to me.

Anyway, what have I been doing? What's the secret? It's simple. It's what I did the last time I lost weight. And the time before that. The answer for me is reduction in calories. I can't even tell you how many calories I consume because I don't count them. I listen to my body and I eat when I feel the need and I have control of the situation and I stop before I overeat. I try to eat healthy, I try to eat clean, but I'm not going to lie, I have eaten some junk--chocolate, pizza, burgers, fries, ice cream. I just eat it in moderation. And I haven't worked out in I don't know how long. Actually, I am afraid that if I do work out, I will somehow gain weight. Silly, I know. Now I am sure that some of you are shaking your head thinking that I will just gain the weight back and I am screwing up my metabolism and this is probably just water weight. Well, you know, it could be. But I lost weight in 2004 by doing this. I ate whatever I wanted, but in moderation. I could eat one bite of cheesecake and walk away. I rarely worked out. And I stayed at 115 lbs for over a year. The only reason I gained it back was because I got pregnant. Of course, I was a fat skinny. And that's what I am now. My plan is to drop the weight, then tone my body. Yes, I might gain some weight due to muscle, but at least my body will be small. Oh, I don't think this is a water weight thing. I can see changes in my body. I have discovered that I have saddle bags. Yeah, didn't see them before because there was some fat just above them. But now that it's shrinking, those saddle bags have become visible. UGGGGGG.....I need to work on that.

Everyone is different. Reducing calories may not work for everyone just like Atkins, or Weight Watchers, or any other plan. But I have found that this does work for me. I am finally breaking past the barrier that has been up for almost 2 years. With my first two babies, I was under my pre-pregnancy weight before they were 1. It took 6 months with Hanna and about 8 months with Hailey. This time it has taken much longer. I did work hard with the first two, but not *that* hard. I thought it would be that *easy* this time but I didn't take in to account that I am about 6 years older than I was back then. I might actually have to work harder to get to where I need to be. But for right now, what i am doing is working and it's about damn time!

Can I reach 123 this coming week???

Monday Madness

Hello readers. Happy Monday!

I would love to unleash my fury over my boss. I would love to tell you how I would love to win the lottery and tell him to leave me the hell alone. I would love to tell you that I was having a good day until around 4:00. The list goes on. But I will spare you the details. No, I won't. We're having a Squadron Christmas party on the 13th. My boss wanted me to send the higher ranking people on base an invitation. No problems. EXCEPT...we had a date but no one could give me a set time. I finally got the go ahead with the times but I was waiting to talk to someone from protocol about the proper procedures for sending out invitations. Then I gave my boss 2 choices and I had to get that together. Then I needed an answer on the absolute day we could turn in the $$ so I could set an RSVP date. Then just last week they FINALLY set a price for the event. Needless to say I JUST got the invitations finished today. Now, I knew the times of the party because I get a base wide listing and I passed this info on but no one would go by what I said. Needless to say, EVERYONE else knows about our party and has them on their calender. THEY KNOW. The invitation was merely a formality. They were already well aware of the date, time, and attire. So I approach my boss to ask him an invitation question and tell him that so and so was coming to our social and his counterpart was coming to dinner. He said "Great, you got the invitations out." I said no. Then he tells me how disappointed in me he is and I should've had them done. Okay, when other people are holding up the process and the plans are changing left and right, it's hard to do what HE asks. He was an exec, which means he worked for the Big Guys, so he knows the proper things to do and not to do. If this were an event that everyone and his dog wasn't aware of, then YES, invitations should've gone out a month ago. But for crying out loud, they all know anyway. Seriously, I would LOVE to quit my job. I look for another job EVERYDAY. He's making me nuts. Oh, and I am still on probation for another 4 months. Everyday he reminds me that I am on probation. He's honestly stressing me and making me feel like he's going to fire me. In my head, the "threat" of being on probation kind of makes me feel like he's going to fire me anyway. He has NO reason to, but why would you constantly tell someone they're on probation??? That's fine. If he does try to fire me, I have a strong claim with the union. Can you say hostile work environment? Anyway, I am sorry for the rant. My job isn't very enjoyable. A lot of times I work through lunch, I am there about 15 minutes early every morning, I NEVER take the two 15 minutes breaks I should be taking. I don't get paid OT, I don't get comp time. And I put up with this man's pettiness. I am tired of it. I need a new job. **But I am thankful that I do get a paycheck every 2 week...well, who knows for how long since I am on probation!

That's not the end of my bad day. I have a headache. GREAT. I took some motrin. We'll see how that works.

Wait. It's still not the end! My throat STILL hurts. It's been 2 weeks now. I had a sore throat, then my sinuses started draining, then it went to my lungs, then to my head, then to my throat. If I didn't have to swallow I would feel fine. I just want to get better!

But the good news is the scale is going down. About a month or so ago, I got on the scale at night, after I ate, with clothes on and I was 137 lbs. Uggggg. Tonight, same situation, after dinner, with clothes and I weighed....drum roll please......


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126

That's an 11 pound difference! Woo-hoo!

I got the scale down to 125.2. I didn't weigh this morning but I should've. I can't wait to break 125. Can I PLEASE see 124 in the morning?????

There is something positive about today. No matter how crappy my day is, I can always find something good. In fact, lets see if I can find 10 good things about today:

1-I didn't have to get up at 6:00. I was awake, but didn't get out of bed until 6:35.
2-I found my Cars socks this morning.
3-I found a Power Wheels Mini online for Mackenzie.
4-An old co-worker called me.
5-An old friend sent me a message on myspace.
6-I picked up my daughters picture with Santa at Wal-Mart.
7-My sister e-mailed me.
8-My best friend from Louisiana called me. (Missed her call)
9-Mackenzie did well in the 2 yr old room.
10-I am here blogging