Yawnnnnn

Helloooo.

I am not MIA. They say March rolls in like a lion and out like a lamb. Well March had the potential to be a great month. The last days of February were GREAT. Then as March rolled in subtle things started happening and it all rolled downhill like a giant snowball. It didn't roll out like a lamb, it rolled out like a freight train! So far April is okay. Not as bad as March. But okay.

So April...ahhh...well I got in half an hour on the cybex today. Didn't get to the gym yesterday. I REALLY wanted to go an entire month with daily workouts but I missed yesterday. Then a light bulb came on! I can work out 31 times this month. Brilliant. Ya got to have goals!

This morning I had an odd thought: my scale hit 100.0 a month or so ago. I've put on a few pounds since then. I was reallllyyyy thin at 100 lbs. my thought was why didn't drop below 100? Why did I hit that number then say okay, I'm good? Why not say hey I got below 100? That's something I will never answer. Even at my height it's not a healthy weight. And I don't anticipate seeing the scale go down anytime soon. And when it does go down it will never get that low again. Anyway...I just had that random thought of weighing below 100lbs this am. Hell, I don't even know why I dropped to 100...because it was an even number, just to prove I could??? Who knows...

As I mentioned before I gained weight...not intentionally but I can't say it wasn't. The scale climbed to 110. Gasp. I wasn't trying to gain weight but I didn't prevent it. I knew I was too thin. I will say this though: putting on some tiny little pants that fell off that now fit is a weird sensation. Thankfully I am rational and tell myself "just because its not falling off of you doesn't mean you're fat." We tend to think its a bad thing to gain weight, we cringe when the scale goes up, we freak out when our pants are too tight. Well lemme tell ya, when you're 33 and little girls size 14 pants are a little big on ya, ya got issues. So I'm not worried about my scale moving up some. I'm not worried about little girl pants NOT falling off.

That's all I have. Time to cook dinner and feed my face:) I'm loving beets right now as well as fresh tomatoes, mozzerella, and pesto. Yum!

Life...

Nothing exciting on the workout front.  Running after injuring knee isn't recommended, but eh, it happens.  It's hard to walk on a treadmill. 

Expect massive changes to the blog.  My focus has changed so the blog needs to change. Wait, I haven't even changed it.  Oh well, expect a change to the change.

Life is short and sweet.  Cherish every moment.  Kiss your kids, signifigant others, your family, friends, always let them know how much you love them because life is so short and can be taken within seconds.  My heart hurts today...

Does pregnancy really cause placenta brain?

Happy Thursday!  My head feels as big as the room but I am up, moving, and unstoppable:)  Ok, so perhaps coffee is helping me move, but nevertheless, I am moving. 

So....does pregnancy cause placenta brain and make you forget everything?  My memory is as good as an elephants, so I am not the one losing brain cells.  Gosh, if I were pregnant I would have to change the theme of the blog...again.  Oh wait, I haven't done it to begin with.  Disregard:)

It's story time!  Names have been changed to protect the identity of my loved ones:)

I tend to do random acts of kindness to make peoples days/lives a little better.  My latest kick is buying groceries for the 2 people behind me every time I go to the grocery store on the base. It doesn't matter how many items they have or if they appear to have a need or not.  If you're the two people that pop up behind me, I got your stuff.  My vision is that this person may have a true need, one I do not now about, one that isn't my concern.  Or if this individual doesn't have a need, he or she will may remember what I did and will turn around one day and help someone who has a true need.  I realized my kindness doesn't necessarily have to extend towards strangers.  I can help people close to me that do have a need.  My acts of kindness varies towards the individual and what might make their life a little better.

I reached out to someone close to me, whom I trust.  She just so happens to be preggo.  I had a few small tasks that she would get compensated for such as sending out a few emails, going online to pay a few of my bills (just clicking the pay now button, not actually paying for my bills), and ordering a few things for me online.  Nothing too complicated.  I didn't have the time and I know she could use the extra funds.  Win-Win for everyone right?

Fast forward to this morning.  I was talking to someone when I realized I haven't heard from someone Miss P(reggo) was supposed to contact.  This was a time sensitive issue sent to a very punctual person so I was perplexed that my friend hadn't replied.  I texted Mrs. P to confirm she sent the email, she confirmed, so I texted my friend to ask if she was going to accept or decline the invite.  My friend had no idea what I was talking about because she didn't get an email from me.  So I pull up my email, check my sent items, then almost choke on my coffee.  What did Ms. P do?!?!?!?!?!?!

Ms. P knew of a former situation and clearly didn't listen to all of what I was saying when I called to discuss the email.  When she sent the email later, she had confused two people with similar names, confused the two completely different stories (one which hasn't been discussed for months, the other that was discussed that day), then complied her own version:)  Oh geeze. 

Rewind!  A close friend was medically retired from the military a few months ago and has been having a hard adjusting to civilian life.  He was a former firefighter so not only did he miss the military life, he missed the life of a firefighter.  Someone else dear to me had a perfect opportunity for our mutual friend!!!!  A plane is flying in at a base next week; this plane isn't necessarily "special", but it's not a plane that's at this base, so it's a big deal.  While the plane is there, it's running the whole time, so it's constantly being refueled.  The fire department has to sit there until the plane departs in case of a fuel spill, or a fire caused by the refuel, etc.  When these planes come into town, the fire department kind of gets special treatment since they're official babysitters, so their families (or friends that can access the base) can have a quick peek at the plane.  Near and Dear worked out a deal where Mr. Medically Retired could serve as an honorary firefighter for the shift, and could be out there with the guys/gals, living the old military/fire fighter life, and could see the plane:)  This was not a simple task by any means. My job? I was going to cover the cost of the plane tickets for our friend and his wife; I had a set budget so I could also cover a room on the base for them and probably a rental car if they didn't want to hang out with Near and Dear, if the tickets were purchased when they were still inexpensive.  It's cheaper to fly on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Saturdays, so it would be a fast trip for them, plus Mrs. Medically Retired has to work and Mr. Medically Retired has doctor appointments on his schedule, so I knew they couldn't be out too long.  I wasn't going to be there for this so unfortunately I was going to miss the opportunity to hang out with my good friends:(

Fast forward: Yeah, Ms. P didn't send that email.  She sent an email, to someone with a VERY similar name first who has a male in her life with the same name as Mr. Medically Retired.  However, Ms. P had confused stories and sent a brief email to Similar Name, not explaining the honorary fire fighter, how we thought it might be good for Mr. Medically Retired to live the life again, and how Near and Dear would love to see them.  She just sent a short and sweet email to the WRONG person offering to fly them up for an event.  This email was so brief Similar Name wouldn't have realized it went to the wrong person.  Sigh.  PLACENTA BRAIN.  I called Ms. P to asked what in the world she was thinking and she thought I wanted the email sent to the other person.  She was halfway listening to what I said and although when she was typing she was wondering why she was sending it because she heard me say Mr. Medically Retired MISSED FIREFIGHTING and wondered why this would be applicable to Similar Name, she sent it anyway! OMG Ms. P can you not call me back to seek clarification?!?!?!?!?!?!?! 

This is bad for many many reasons because A--I do not wish to communicate with the recipient of the email, and I am sure the feelings are mutual.  I am glad this person did not accept or decline the offer because I would've had to reply explaining the mistake--if I don't wish to communicate with Similar Name, this kind of ruins that huh?  Finding out it went to the WRONG person due to a reply from this individual would've been a bad, bad thing.  It's a freak out moment when the light bulb comes on and you realize a mistake was made.  But to find out via a replied email is bad ju-ju:)  B--It was time sensitive due to airline tickets sky rocketing closer to departure date.  GREAT!!  I had told Mrs. Medically Retired of my plans so I couldn't back out of the offer. 

So how did this end?

Placenta brain worked out really, really well actually.  Blessing in disguise?  As it turns out, if Mr. and Mrs. Medically Retired received the email as intended, they would be at home right now.  Airline tickets a month ago out of home airport was XX price.  As it turns out, she spontaneously took 2 weeks vacation  from work so they took a short road trip to visit family.  I kayaked airline tickets to discover tickets 6 days out from vacation airport are CHEAPER than home airport was a month+ ago!!  Also, Mrs. Medically Retired was so touched by the offer and LOVED the idea, she's 100% on board AND insisted to pay for half the ticket price plus the room.  Their trip will be a day shorter than we hoped but oddly it all fell into place. Everything happens for a reason right?  

What could've been a moment of panic resulting in stressful day/week has turned into a calm event.  I didn't let it get to me.  I had a choice:  freak out or remain collected.  I chose to define it, not let panic define ME.  I also learned not to let pregnant women send emails on your behalf:)  I love you Ms. P and you know this!  I will just be happy when your baby pops out so your brain is normal, not a placenta brain;-) I should've known things were headed south when my cupcake liners were the size of a quarter, instead of regular size.  Lesson 2--Don't let a pregnant woman shop for you! 

So what is my point?!?!?!?!?!?!?!  See paragraph above.  Life is too short to stress over things beyond your control.  Embrace it and do what you can with it.  It worked to my advantage today.  We are all faced with stress.  We can let it get to us or we can channel it in other directions.  Get a stress ball, do some yoga, go for a run.  Just don't sweat the small stuff.  Have a great Thursday!

The flu part 2?!?!?!?

Greetings stalkers cupcakes. Thought I abandoned ya didn't you? You're not that lucky! I've been busy this week with the flu or allergies, sinus issues, or something kicking my booty. I've been hanging with my soul twin enjoying Japanese food, coffee, conversation and everything in between. I've had one kiddo in the ER for breathing issues. I did the happy dance over my 6 year old getting accepted into the gifted and talented program. In spite of me and the kiddo being sick, it was a great week!

Tomorrow marks the return of my hot dates with the gym! I spent my time this week with my soul:) so I didn't need to go to the gym. Our time was better spent elsewhere. But my soul is mid air so that means in spite of having the plague some random sickness again, I need to find my love, the gym. (I also have to get allergy shots tomorrow...boo) I would like to emphasize I am not hitting the gym to lose more weight. I seriously wish I could upload my pics. (SD card fried btw) I promise promise promise to post pics soon. I guess I have to tell the story without pics and ruin the surprise. Fail.

Yesterday I went into a health food store wearing a winter coat.  I was looking for a supplement and the sales associate pointed me in the direction of a few products. She pointed out one as being a best seller because it contained xxxxx. I asked what xxxxx was for and she replied with "it's to help lose those last 10 pounds, especially the fat in the mid section."  I laughed, literally, out loud. She gave a funky look so I explained that I was XXX pounds and the pants I had on were size sorry saving it for the pics and she laughed out loud as well! She responded with "No dear you don't need this one!"  It's nice to be thin again:) I wasn't really fat, but I was fat for me, or shall I say, I thought I looked fat. Time for story #2.

Several months ago I asked an associate where the hell those last 10 pounds were going to come from. I don't think we had an answer. I sent said associate an email with a pic I managed to download from my cell provider. I weighed XXX pounds. This pic was taken from the time frame of our prior cited conversation. Then I texted associate a current gym pic and my phone rang. I was told I was hot but too skinny. Yeah yeah I've heard that before (skinny part;) So we compared pics and this person agreed I wasn't too thin that I had just lost fat.  My friend then took a guess at my current weight. It was a perfect guess with first pic. When I informed my friend of my real weight and how second guess was wrong, I was lectured about needing to weigh the number that was guessed. We then discussed muscle versus fat, etc and I explained that it was presumed I was already at this weight so it's really just a number on a scale.  I saw said associate today, showed off the guns, proved my muscles didn't disappear, proved I'm really not of super model height, and all was well:) There's no point except someone saw a before and after shot and could really see the difference. Associate is gym rat so I was happy to have opinion.  For the first time, I could see a change too. Huh? More on that later!

My soul has landed so I need to connect with it to recharge like a cell phone. It's odd to miss something before its ever gone:( I also need my beauty sleep if my sick boo-tay is going on that hot date tomorrow. There's no rest for the weary.  Or not this girl anyway. I'm not a tween or a teen or a 20 something year old child that thinks he or she knows everything about anything and rules the world when Im in fact clueless about life. Hell no....I'm a 33 year old grown ass woman that has lived a life and has enough sense to know I DEFINE ME and plague sickness or not, nothing will keep me down, especially not me:)

Day 3: I should have been a doctor

Happy Saturday! I hope to keep this short and sweet. In case I didn't mention I was diagnosed with type A influenza two weeks ago. I got the flu shot. I also got the flu because I sat in urgent care for 3 hours because my kids had coughs. They tested negative for flu and strep. I caught the flu. Wtf. Long story short I was up all night with Miss C giving round the clock breathing treatments. Headed to the ER because they weren't cutting it and I know what it's like to not be able to breathe. She still sounds like crap but she's better. I imagine I'll still be up around the clock tonight with her.  Then I came home to find ex husband suddenly stricken with the flu. Great. I'm not a douche to my ex's so he's sleeping it off. I was nice and gave him some meds and soup. The issue is he was snuggled up to Miss M when I was at the ER so I wonder if she's going to get it. Neither of them had the flu shot, not that it mattered anyway. I should've become a doctor if I am going to have to take care of 3 sick people. I'm still not well. Boo:( Needless to say there was no workout for me today although I desperately needed some yoga. Maybe tomorrow. For now I desperately need some sleep. I don't have the luxury of pawning my kids off on others so I need to get some sleep so I can treat the sickos:)

Day 2

I have made it to the gym 2 days in a row now. What?  I thought I dumped him. After a 6 month break up, Valentines Day seemed liked a good time to go back to him, I mean it:)  I forgot how much I missed being there. I also forgot how much it hurt. Running sucks. It really does. But I do it because I define it, it doesnt define ME. I do it because I can. I do it because it challenges me. I do it because I hate it yet I know I can defeat it. Yes sir, I hate running:)

I got my other phone running but the sd card wont work. I cant upload the pics I promised...not yet. They're out there, I just have to acquire them.  Patience. Good things come to those who wait. Didn't I just say this?

Day 1

I haven't had time to whip out the laptop to change some things but why delay the story because I don't like the background or my header is no longer applicable? So let's get started....

Today you will get a condensed version. Many many details, pictures, and life lessons will come along the way. My story began long before this blog started but it all wrapped back to one central theme: doing what works best for YOU. 

In 1999 I had el bebe número uno. I ate for two grown men. Hey I was 19, no one told me what eating for two REALLY meant. I went from 128 to about 183 lbs. While preggo I go by the docs scale so I was probably lighter when I got preggo. Anywho....I was huge. But the Air Force have me 6 months to get to my weight max of 143, so since I was losing the poundage I got down to 128. I ate right and used the treadmill at the gym. When H1 was 1 H2 entered the belly. I went from 124 to 170 something. Got down to 148, then it seemed like I stayed there forever but by the time she was 1 I was at 116. I lost the weight by counting calories and using a mini trampoline while watching ER. Then a year  later I gained the weight back. Welcome to college, taking care of two small kids. I went to the gym, ate right, scale wouldn't move. Then I just stopped, used simple principle of calories in versus calories out and tada scale went from 147 to 115. I stayed between 115 and 120 until 2006 when M entered tummy. My lowest weight that I remember was 112 when I had Appendectomy in Feb 2006. Just before M entered tummy. Back to her. First doc appt I was 124. I was 160 something I think when I spit her out. I got down to maybe 129 with her. I don't remember, is have to go back and read blog. Worked out, ate right, hired personal trainer. Weight didn't want to move. Then C entered belly although vasectomy was scheduled. That's where this weight loss struggle began. I would have to check blog for exact stats but I think I was at 129 at first dr appt then got up to 160 something. Slowly dropped weight. Had hormone, thyroid, and every issue under the sun. Scale stalled between 132 and 129. On a nice day it may dip to 127. I hired trainers, worked my ass off, ate perfectly. I got no where. Then one day I stopped. Went back to what I knew: calories in versus calories out. I have a better picture but its not on this device so this will suffice for now. The scale was actually heavier and is lower. And remember, I'm just 5 foot nothing....




Well I guess you get a teaser because I can't upload right now. Sorry guys. Stay tuned.....

I'm back...again...part 20??

When it seems like I posted yesterday then I revisit this site my jaw hits the floor when I realize I haven't been here in F-O-R-E-V-E-R.  I have no concept of time because yesterday turns out to be seven months ago.  Sooooooooooo......oooooo much has happened since then. I don't know where to begin. In summation, my goals have been met and exceeded. I defined me. I became that smoking hot momma. This blog is still relevant because the story needs to be told but its a matter of how to tell the story. The story doesn't end because I met THOSE goals; my life will always evolve so there will always be new goals...hit the stage, practice yoga in India, run in that marathon, eat clean every day. The story never ends. Just be patient as I revamp the ol bloggie blog to tell you the story. My life stays hectic but after realizing the only way to get things accomplished is to MAKE TIME. It's like hitting the gym or buying groceries....it's all about making time. I'm a mom, I work full time, I take care of my kids mostly on my own when they're not at daycare and Im at work, I pay bills, I cook dinner almost every night, I get sick, I take care of sick kids, I do laundry, I fold clean laundry a hundred times when princesses cant decide what to wear, I do my bosses job at work, I do dishes, I text my friends, I miss out on sleep, I watch Lost and cry like a baby, I travel, I make bacon cupcakes, I sit with M to do homework.  I have a busy freaking life with little help. Oh. Freaking. Well. I blew my goals out of the water in spite of being insanely busy so I will make the time to blog about it. Im busy as hell so whats another few minutes of my day;) My journey will be told so stay tuned cupcakes, I DID define me and you're gonna hear all about  it:)  Soon. Very soon.