Hey Hey Hey I Just Found My Way

Let me ask you a question. It's Friday afternoon. You're set to get off work at 4:30. At 2:00, your computer network goes down which means that you can't do jack at work. Your husband can get the kid from daycare, so that means you are free. What do you do with your free time?

I would LOVE to go home and nap. It's nice and quiet with no one disturbing me for hours. I would LOVE it.

But guess what.

I WENT TO THE GYM.

YEAH!

I read a lot of blogs. And I can name quite a few people who would get off their butt and get to the gym and would do what they needed to do to get sh*t done. But there are some people that, although their "fitness" oriented, they would've went home, or went shopping, or would've done SOMETHING ELSE. I see a lot of people out there are really serious about their goals. You can look at their pics (assuming they have pics) and see that they were all about business. They did what they had to do, no matter what. Then there are some people I think are sheer impostors--they say they have goals, but by reading their stories or seeing pics, you wouldn't know they had a goal in the world. You hear a lot of talk about how they want this or that, but you see no end result.

I DO NOT WANT TO BE AN IMPOSTOR. I AM GOING TO DO WHATEVER it takes to get to my goals. If I have to eat nothing but broccoli, chicken, turkey, and green beans from here on out, SO BE IT. If I have to do a 3 day liquid diet until the end of time, I WILL. If I have to do lunges everytime it's a leg day, by gosh I WILL DO IT. IF I have to do 10 cardio sessions a week, I will suck it up and DO IT. YOU WILL SEE RESULTS.

The thing is, you have to REALLY want this. YOU have to REALLY want to reach your goals. Saying I want to weigh 115 lbs and GETTING THERE are two different things. The impostor says they want to get there, while the winner GETS there. There's a big difference. I can sit here all day long and tell you (and myself) that I want to compete next year or I want to weigh 115 lbs or I want to be in Oxygen Magazine, as I am stuffing a cheeto in my mouth. Clearly if I am stuffing cheetos in my mouth, then I am NEVER going to reach my goals. If I am whining about getting up early to work out, I am NOT going to reach my goals. If I am doing half ass workouts I am NOT going to reach my goals. (NO, my goals aren't to compete next year or be in Oxygen Magazine). And I think that people that want something but only puts forth half the effort is the only thing sabotaging their goals. And for that, I think they are sad.

So, I challenge you to look at what you're doing, what you're eating. Are you doing what you need to be doing to reach your goals? Or are you cutting corners and whining about doing what it takes to get to where you need to be?

Moving on....

As I was using the leg press, I put 190 lbs on. I did 15 reps. Okay, too easy. I glance over and this GUY on the inverted leg press---with TWENTY lbs on each side. That's 40 lbs. Are you KIDDING me? He did a few and rests. As I finish up doing 4 reps of 265 lbs, he is getting off. So he did two sets of who knows what at 40 lbs and it took forever!!!! Then he moves on to do calf raises and put on THIRTY lbs. ARE YOU SERIOUS??????????????????????? I should've known this guy was a joke when he came in with his shirt tucked in to his basketball shorts. What a loser.

Enjoy my video!

Copying Kelly

This was my cardio song for today




And this is ALWAYS my cardio song!! Well, not the acoustic version. But when I run, I put this song on. Why? I guess because I feel like I am gonna fall apart!

Quickie...

Hey kids, this is going to be short. A--I am dog tired B--I need to take a bath C--I need to get up a little early so I can go to PT with my squadron D--I would like to read a little more Harry Potter and E--My arms feel like they're going to fall off.

A--I am super tired. No nap for me. I came home, unpacked groceries, fed baby, went to give neighbor pie and gift for her b-day, bathed baby, did chest workout, and that was that. Oh, and I cooked my chicken and fish because I can eat real food tomorrow!!!!

B--I need to take a bath. Enough said. I *could* take one in the morning I guess....Nah.

C--Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, my squadron has PT. For those non-military people, a squadron, is well, um....it's the people I work with. It's like you might work for Wal-Mart, but not just any Wal-Mart, you work for Wal-Mart in XX town. But taking it a step further, you work in the garden center. That's like the squadron level. The flight level would be like the people that water the plants, or the people that stock the shelves for that section. Anyway, they do PT--physical training. They do a few push ups and sit ups then they run. My boss has been hounding me about going with them, and I figured this was a great way to get in the extra cardio I need each week. I mean, I *am* getting paid for this. Of course, I *can* take 3 hrs a week to go to they gym. But this way, I am forced to get the cardio in, whereas if I took those 3 hrs, I would do my weights, and blow off my lunch workout. So, I need to drop Clint and the baby off then get over there by 7. So I need to leave early. I will be running the curves, walking the straightaway.

D--I heart Harry Potter. I got through the first 4 books in no time. I bought them just before the last one came out because I wanted to see what the hype was about. Well, impatient me got on the net and read all about the rest of the books. So I haven't felt the need to read the rest as quickly. But I have made some good time now that I have started again. I want to finish the 5th so I can watch the damn movie!! And I was excited the 6th movie was set for release on November 20 (which meant I had to read the 6th book before then) but thanks to the kid that play Harry Potter starring in a play with a 12 minute nude scene, the halted the premiere until next year. Anyway, I want to finish the book!

E--I had arms yesterday. OW. They hurt. It hurts to type. Tomorrow going to be worse. And I am going to be sore from my bad ass chest workout tonight. Which BTW, I had to do at home,with the bowflex. For my incline bench press, I put on a 30 lb, 10 lb, and 10 lb band to do 12. Not a problem. That's 50 right? For my set of 6, I put on the 50 lbs band and a 10. That's 60 right? I couldn't move it. I took off the 10 and put on a 5, for 55 lbs. Still couldn't move it. So I took the 5 off and just had the 50 lbs bands on. The bitch WOULD NOT MOVE. WTF? I just did 50 lbs. I suck at math but isn't 30+10+10=50???? So I took it off, put the 30+10+10+5=55 and moved it with ease. Holy hell, I hate that thing.

Alright, good night, sweet dreams, go kick some ass!

I heart you all

I don't have much time to write. I spent all morning updating my blog. Clint's annoyed. Go figure.

I read some sad posts on a message board this morning. If you gals are reading, oh well. I do find them sad. These girls are truly lacking motivation. Post after post I hear excuse after excuse--I had to go to this event, it's so and so's birthday, we're having a big bbq, etc. And it's followed by, well, I know I have XXXXX to go to so I know I won't lose weight. Or it's like "I gained 2 lbs, but the fact taht we had XX's birthday didn't help, I'll get on track after next week's birthday bash: or something lame like that.'

I just want to tell them that it's okay to say no. You DON'T have to eat what others are eating, you DON'T have to go, you DON'T have to eat at all. You Diva's know that Tony says that if people don't support you, get the negative out of your life. If your family/friends can't understand why you are eating chicken and broccoli, or why you aren't eating that birthday cake, or heck, if you can't control temptation, why you aren't at that event, then piss on them. They SHOULD understand. In fact, I'll bet that they DO understand. I bet they wouldn't care at all. I think it is the person that doesn't WANT to eat something different, doesn't WANT to refrain from eating, doesn't WANT to miss the event.

Let's talk about smoking. I use to smoke. I recently started again. (Don't worry, I stopped.) How did I stop the first time? I stayed away from smokers. The urge wasn't there. Why did I start again? Because I was surrounded by them. How did I stop once more? I am avoiding smokers. I am not buying cigarettes.

Let's apply that to eating right. If you want to lose weight/eat right/not cave in, stay away from bad eaters. Don't go to your relatives house. Don't go to restaurants. Or better yet, don't bring that food into your home.

I don't care if it is your child's birthday. What does that have to do with you? Let me guess, it's not a birthday without cake and ice cream. So be it. Let your child have it. Let your guests have it. But you DON'T have to. If you're having a big party, why not have healthy things like veggie and fruit trays. And wait, here's another concept: If you DO have things like pizza, DON'T eat it. It won't kill you to have tuna and asparagus.

The point is, the truth is, that these girls aren't REALLY trying. If they were, they would be seeing results. But every week it's the same ol same ol--I had this event, we ate out, I am PMSing so it has to be water weight. GIVE IT UP. Take responsibility. Stop screwing around. If you want to cheat every week, if you want to make excuses, so be it. But for crying out loud, stop whining and pretending that you want to lose weight. You tell yourself what you need to in order to make yourself feel better. But action speak louder than words. If you are pigging out in some restaurant, clearly you don't REALLY want to lose weight.

On a similar note, it's not like it's a once in a while restaurant adventure or a special occasion once in a while--it ALWAYS happens. ALWAYS. It's excuse after excuse after excuse.

So why don't I leave this group??? I hope I can inspire at least one person. I would love for one person to wake up and say hey, you know, I control me--it's time to STOP making the excuses, STOP caving in, and it's time to LOSE weight.

It is funny that it's a weight loss group but hardly anyone is losing weight. Kind of ironic. Does anyone else think "Hey, there's a problem here..." Clearly they don't see it because it's excuse, after excuse, after excuse....

And, last thing, if you MUST go to this event or have this party, then why not eat less that day, or get in some extra workouts, or be good all week long, or hey, research the menu and order something light, or eat 1/4 of the dish, or pick out the healthiest things to eat, or hey, skip dessert, or just have a small taste to curb the cravings. You don't have to eat like a cow....

These ladies CAN succeed. They have so much potential. I just wish they would actually get some motivation and would lose the excuses. STOP SETTLING. DO IT. YOU CAN LOSE WEIGHT YOU HAVE TO SET YOUR MIND TO IT THOUGH AND BELEIVE IN YOURSELF. YOU HAVE TO HAVE MORE THAN ME BELIEVING IN YOU.
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I love Kelly O. She's so funny. This girls is my soul twin. We're going to be kicking ass and taking names. Watch out. I texted her this morning asking if she took her vitamins/supplements and she said that she JUST set them out. If we're not meant to be, then who is!! I forwarded her all the messages and her responses makes me laugh. I am so thankful that we are motivated, that we have goals we WILL reach. Most importantly, I am thankful to have her in my life!

And I love Tina. I sent her my progress pics and she had nothing but kind words to say. And she had some GREAT advice. I'm telling you, this gal is so inspiring. Her words are so motivating. She makes you want to succeed. She makes you feel like you WILL succeed. She's such an inspiration. Keep your eye on her, she's going places!!

I define me

I make my own decisions
I decide what I want to do
I decide if I sink or swim
I decide if I fail or succeed
I decide if I eat the donut or refrain
I decide if I drink my water
I decide if I take an hour long nap or if I workout
I decide if I reach my goals

Everything that happens in my life is because of MY decisions. I lost 8 lbs the first month with Dreambodies. That was because I gave it my all and kicked ass. The next few months weren't as impressive. But that was my own fault because I didn't do crap. That was me. It was no one's fault.

Something else. STOP MAKING EXCUSES and ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY. I HATE HATE HATE to hear people "whine" about this or that then blame it on this or that. You know what people, I failed those 2-3 months because I didn't try. It wasn't because I was PMS'ing, or ovulating, or stuck at a scrapbook convention with bad food choices, or because family was in town, or it was so and so's birthday. F*CK THAT. It was because I made the choices I made. You know what...so what if I am ovulating...doesn't mean I have to eat the house. So what if it is my baby's birthday. I *CAN* refrain from the cake. Gasp. Did I say that? Is that even a possibility? I don't give two shits if so and so DID bake it just for that occasion. Good for them. Everyone else can enjoy it. And if they DID bake it just for me, shame on me. I should express to everyone that I am following an eating regimen that cake doesn't fall in to. If they insist on making it, hopefully they won't be too offended when I throw it in the trash. That's what you get for not listening to me. And who gives a rat's ass if my family was in town or if I was visiting family. My family shouldn't be offended if I eat my own thing. And if I am at their house, A--I am certain there are grocery stores I can get my own food from and B--if I am not comfortable enough to make my own food, I don't need to be staying there.

The point of this is that I control me and you control you. what you make out of life is based on what YOU do. I hear so many women say they want to do this or this but they never do. I hear women complaining that they haven't reached their goal weight, but in the next breath they say they had a hefty meal over the weekend. Gee honey, I think THAT is why you aren't meeting your goals. I hear women come up with this or that excuse as to why they don't eat right or have time to workout. If you wanted it bad enough, NOTHING would stop you. Is it so wrong to say "NO, I don't want a cake." "No, I can't eat that." "No thank you, I will make my own food." "Sorry, I can't scrapbook tonight, I have to workout." NO NO NO it isn't hard. If you want it, YOU CAN HAVE IT. BUT YOU CAN ONLY GET WHAT YOU PUT IN TO IT.

Tony has me on a liquid diet. I begged him for it. I am not losing weight; I am gaining. You can tell I am getting trimmer. Kelly and Tony saw the pics. Both said they can see a difference. But I need that scale to go down. I totally blew it today. TOTALLY. It's definitely a mind over matter thing and my mind wasn't working. I know Tony is all about getting your head in the right place. Kelly O. can attest to this: For years now I have said that once I get my head in the right spot, everything falls in to place. But I have to mentally condition myself for that to happen. Anyway, my mind failed today. Now I have a tummy ache. NO, I didn't eat a horse. When I say I failed, don't think I ate a pizza or a cheesecake. I didn't. Every time I say I fail, I just mean I didn't follow the plan. To me, that is failing. Whether I cheated and ate a pizza or cheated and ate a potato, it's still not on plan. I ate healthy foods, but the point is that it wasn't on plan. And for that I suck.

So I was reading blogs and something went off in my head: holy crap, I am stopping me from reaching my goals. It's ME that is doing this. WTF. And chances are that if you aren't reaching your goals, it's because of YOU.

On a side note..I have a "friend" that is overweight and bitches about it, yet she wants to do nothing to change it. She says working out makes her feel bad. What ever. You're just lazy and are creating excuses to NOT workout.

Enough said. Get off your butt and do it. As Tina says, reach for the stars. As Kelly O says, aim high. As I say, get off your ass and get do it!

I want a pile of dead men next to my house

I wish I had written down the quote as soon as I heard it. I was showing my friend Von Cynthia's pics. Clint (my husband) thinks that all of you figure competitors are gross. He says that you look too manly for him. Jackass is just saying that because he's afraid you can kick his ass. I think you are all smoking HOT. Back to the point. Von was looking at the pics with me. Clint looked over and said "Geeze, her arms are too buff. I bet she has a pile of dead men next to her house." I LOVED IT!!! (Point that he thinks you can kick his ass). I am not 100% certain that it was the exact quote he said because I was too busy loving it. But to paraphrase, he thinks she's so buff, she's over there snapping some men in half and tossing them next to her house. I WANT that!! Hehehehehe. I want a pile of dead bodies!

Something to read

It's 11:00pm on a Saturday night. I am at home. I am a loser! Kidding. I rock.

I don't have much to say. I've already told Kelly O this story. I just need to whine some more. But before you read, just remember, this IS NOT getting me down.

I am gaining weight. I am not seeing a loss. I am seeing a gain. WTF?????????? I know, muscle weighs more than fat. I know, I know, I know. But did I really gain that much muscle in 2 weeks? I have been eating 99% perfect (I did have a potato the other night). Workouts have been great. Water has been great. Got the extra cardio in. And I am gaining.

It is/was my TOM. I am not one that notices a weight gain during this time, but I don't NOT notice. I've never noticed one way or another. Some women whine and complain that they're bloated or they retain water during their TOM. I've never noticed. Doesn't mean I don't. Doesn't mean I do. I've just never noticed. So I guess I'll see in a few days. I want to see a loss gosh darn it.

Gotta go. I am contemplating going to sleep. Yes, I suck.

What inspires me

This is Cynthia. I don't have her blog linked to mine. Crap. I know it's Visionquester 2. Google her. This pic was posted on Kelly's page. I LOVED it! I have found my muse. Tony is always on me about finding a body I want. Well, I still don't have one complete body, but I want this woman's abs. Everyone I show says "That's gross, that's not right on a woman, that's only okay for a man." Well screw you! Kidding. To each his/her own. But this is what I like. This is what I am aiming for. Granted, I am certain she is flexing, as her other pics aren't this defined. But that's what I want. I want to be able to flex my shit and then you see <--------that pic. I think it's hot as hell and I WILL have that. When I am at the gym, I think of her stomach. When I don't want to do another rep, I think of this pic and I do three more. I have printed this pic and put it on the inside of my food journal. To take it up a notch, I put this pic all throughout it so I randomly see it. And I will put it on my sun visor, fridge, desk at work. Last night I was telling Zanita, a girl on a message board, that she should find a pic that inspires her and put it everywhere...car, desk, inside the fridge, on bad foods she may have at her house (for kid/husband), bathroom mirror, etc. I read Kelly's blog and she posted this pic everywhere!!! HEHEHEHEHE

I had a bad ass workout today. Shoulders. Not a fan of shoulders, but I kicked butt. As I was doing something, I was watching myself and my arms are looking good!! YES!!! But....there's always a but...my arms look fat to me when I am not flexing. I am not happy about that. They just look big. I don't want that...

Oh yeah, I did 62 mins on the elliptical---3 miles. I rock!! Some of you may be able to do more in 62 mins, but I am happy with my results.

Good night bloggers!

Because I know you can't get enough of me

Chai Latte Rocks...Take Two!

Here's a story for all of you:

I love Starbucks. It's overpriced coffee, but it's OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH so good. I normally don't go unless I have a gift card. I get the same thing: Skinny Cinnamon Dolce Latte. 90 calories. YUM. I AM allowed to have coffee, but probably not 90 cals worth of coffee. So every now and again I WILL splurge and have this. Well, the other night we go and I decided to try a Iced Chai Latte. I asked them to make it skinny and they said they couldn't, but they could use non fat milk. Fine by me. Little did I know that it had 200 calories according to their website. How can tea and milk be so caloric??? Anyway, we decided to buy some Spiced Chai to make our own. Take 1. 1 tea bag, about 10 ounces of water, a splenda, and some skim milk (about 1/4 cup). I KNOW this didn't have 200 calories. I also know that it wasn't very good and I didn't drink much. We went to town and didn't go by Starbucks, considering Von has spent a fortune there lately. Thanks Von! Anyway, we come home and try again. This time I put about 6 ounces of water, let the bag steep a little longer, put 1 splenda and about 1TBSP HEAVY CREAM. YES, I SAID HEAVY CREAM. I also added some pumpkin pie spice. OMG, this was awesome!!! It wasn't Starbucks, but it was GOOD. I hate to see how many calories was in the cream. Wait, let me check. 45 calories per 1 tsp. 5 grams of fat (oopppssss). That's a lot better than Starbucks 200 calories!!!! I'm sure that Tony wouldn't approve. This isn't something I plan on drinking every day. Probably not even once a week. But I am excited that I perfected the recipe!!!

My eating has been on target!! Went out and bought (most) of the food I need for the next two weeks. I will need some more veggies and they didn't have any turkey. I had to use beef. Gasp!!! And my husband is eating what I eat too. I tried to talk him into hiring Tony, but he's not interested. He just wants to lose some weight and try what I'm doing. I explained that Tony might have something better for his needs, but he's adamant that he doesn't need a trainer. He only wants to eat better and lose a little weight. Whatever. I'll cook for him. Makes life a lot easier for me so that I don't have to cook two different things. We're pretty much feeding Mackenzie what we eat, but of course I throw in other things like lots of fruit!!! She eats breakfast, lunch, and two snacks at daycare. Eating chicken, broccoli, and a banana or some mandarin oranges really isn't any difference than what she normally eats anyway. Seriously. I am a really healthy person (for the most part).

Alright people, I am out! Have a nice weekend. Well, whats left of it!!!

Laissez les bons temps rouler

I am on a roll today! I slept until 12:30 (long night!). I got up, made my coffee, hung up about 6 loads of laundry and have two more to go. I had one kick booty salad for lunch---grilled chicken, lettuce, tomatoes, broccoli, cucumber, and red bell pepper with this new 0 fat low cal salad dressing and flax seed oil! Yum! Now I am having some coffee. I made my gallon of water and am working on that. I feel GREAT!!!! I really need to focus and get on track. My arms and legs are still sore from my bad ass workout this past week and I LOVE it. I was able to do FOUR 245 lbs reps on the leg press. This REALLY surprised me because I really haven't worked out in the past two months. I mean, the month before those two months, I was working out 6 days a week like I was supposed to. Then I slacked off. But I am back in the game now!!! I can tell that I lost some strength in my arms. I could only spit out three 20lb bicep curls. I am not happy about that because 3 months ago I could do four 30lb curls. Oh well, I am back in the game.

Part of me is disappointed because it's the end of the summer and I should've reached my goals 2 months ago. I am still 12 lbs away. I can fit in my old clothes, which is something I REALLY wanted to do. That was my goal all along. But I also wanted to be 115 lbs. I thought that in order for me to fit in my clothes, I had to be 115 lbs, because in the past that's what I weighed when I wore the clothes. I guess my focus has changed. I want to look good in those clothes--not just fit in them!!!!! As I told Tony, I don't want people to think I am pretty or beautiful...I want people to think I am HOT. And I want to be hot clothed and naked. I look fine in my clothes now. It's the naked part that gets me. So we have some work to do.

My husband says I look at more naked women than he does. I try to read everyone's blogs every few days and I LOVE to look at progress pics. Tina, I am in awe of your booty. There's no butt cleavage there..it's just leg and butt. I can only compare it to a horses hind quarter. And that's not an insult...so DON'T take it that way--I know it might be weird hearing someone say your booty looks like a horses.... But if you've ever looked at a horse, it's just leg then bottom. I think that is AWESOME. I want a booty like Tina's. I have a flat butt, but I told Tony I want to work on that.

Speaking of Tina, SHE is the reason where I am today. Kelly O. turned me on to blogs. She gave me all these great links to read. Somehow I came across Tina and other Dreambodies Divas. While they're all amazing and inspiring in their own way, I was drawn to Tina and her story. I could more closely relate to her and I thought her transformation was awesome. So I took a leap and decided to try it too. All I can say is thank you so VERY much Tina. You've inspired me more than you know!!!!

And Kelly O. If it weren't for you being my rock all these years, I might be fat!! No seriously, Kelly is the only constant in my life, when it comes to working out. None of my friends are on this workout kick. None of them. Not the guys, not the girls. So talking to Kelly all these years and hearing her motivation keeps me going. I can write to her everyday and tell her I hate the scale, ask why I'm not losing weight, tell her about my workout, etc., and she's there to listen and converse back--not criticize me or question why I am doing this. I heart Kelly O! On a side note, why don't you set up your blog so that you don't accept comments from anon people that way they're forced to reveal themselves (or at least a made up name)? My comments have to be approved as well, that way douche bags can't leave awful things. Some people are losers and have nothing better to do than to put down on others. Eff'in Biaches!

Tiffany--I think you rock. I am so proud of your weight loss. You've come a long way. Keep up the good work!!

Evelyne--WHERE ARE YOU??????????? She's another motivational fixture in my life. This woman is amazing. Her transformation is remarkable as well. I can't wait to see her on the stage!!!

Lastly, Kelly O had a pic posted on her page. This is Cynthia. This image has been burned in my brain. Since viewing this photo, I have used this as a mental tool to keep me going. When I don't want to do another left lift, or bicep burl, or another roman chair raise, I think of this image. I WANT that. AND I focus on that pic and I end up spitting out several more reps, even when I don't want to!!!! This chick is badass!

Alright, that's all I have for today! (At least for now). I am feeling drowsy. VERY drowsy. I was on a roll. If I nap, it will be all over. GRRRRRR....maybe I should read??? That won't help. Crap!