Day 1

Quick post today. I gotta get to town to get some different boxing gloves. I hate pair I got so I need to get some more. The past few weeks I have been feeling increasingly frustrated. Not sure why. I go to bed in a bad mood. I wake up in a bad mood. The only thing I can think of to cure this is a punching bag. Maybe if I release some of my frustrations I will feel better. And hey, what a great way to burn some calories right?

That's all I've got. I don't even have the motivation to write. Hopefully that will change soon. Here's to hoping a little boxing therapy returns me to myself.

Is it Friday?

Sheesh, I have been exhausted these past few days. I've been coming home and crashing around 7:30pm, then getting up and going to bed. I don't know whats going on. Yeah, it's that time of the month but I don't think that's doing it. A few weekends ago I slept like all weekend long.

Here I go whining again--but I really need to start working out. I am going to do something as soon as I type this. We're watching a movie (sort of) and I would love nothing more than to go to sleep. But I will push myself to workout. Even if I do nothing more than push ups and sit ups, I will do something. Here's things I would like to get into:

• P90X
• Pilates
• Yoga
• Walking
• Running
• Biking
• Maybe some classes at the gym

I am like a football field away from a gym at work but I don't use it. I could easily strap on some shoes and run at lunch but it's deathly hot here. Not really my thing. The ideal time is to work out during the day while at work--I have a 1 hr lunch everyday but can take longer if need be. Also, technically I can go to the gym for 1 hour 3x a week on company time. I just don't want to do that right now. I have a ton to learn at work. I am way in over my head. So there's no time to take off work to work out. At lunch I tan or do other things like feeding cats, or running errands. I really don't have time. I could get up early in the morning to work out or I can do it when I get home. The best choice is when I get home, but I have kiddos at home that need something and I have to cook, do laundry, clean, etc.

There is a point to my whining: I need to make time in my schedule. It's almost 7pm. I got home around 5:30. I haven't washed clothes or cooked dinner. Dishes are still piled up. I did make the baby a bottle and gave it to her (she can hold her bottle now). So for an hour and a half I've read blogs and ate. Speaking of eating, I have been coming home and eating like a horse. Uggggg....This. Must. Stop. Now.

Back to the point: I need to get a schedule down and stick to it. I need to come home, work out, and be done with it. End of story.

Well that's that. I better get off the couch before I go to sleep. Yes, I just considered taking a nap instead. Must keep moving. Must keep moving.

Focus. Or is it RE-Focus?

Sorry for the lapse in posts. Life gets in the way sometimes. Fortunately for me, I decided I need to start living life.

Today is going to be a busy day. I have mounds of laundry to do then I have to read a huge document and answer questions before I go to training tomorrow. Ugggg.....This stuff is the most boring stuff I have read in I don't know how long. Takes me back to the law school days. Wait, this is a class on contracts. Didn't I do this already? At least I hope I walk away with a better understanding of my job. I also have to take H and H back to their dad. Fun stuff.

So, Kelly O and I are focused on getting rid of the flab. Actually, she's been focused for a while now. I've been saying I was focused but I have yet to prove it. Well, that changes today, hence the re-focusing. I have got to work out and change my diet. I lost 14 lbs, gained a couple back, now I am up to 7 lbs total gained. FAIL. Especially when my goal is 15-120 and I am sitting at 147 this morning. Wait...now I have never been the best at math, but isn't that 27-32 lbs that I need to lose. Damn. At least when that scale was at 140, I only had 20-25. So do you see the problem with how "focused" I was. I definitely see a problem. I am moving away from the goal, so things need to changed....without a doubt.

My goals:
Less calories in
Work out 6 days a week

It's that simple. I would love to start running again. I say this every year. I buy new running shoes and I fail to run. However, I think these just might do the trick. I need an 8.5. I will be more than happy to supply any mystery donors with my shipping address. Kidding. But yeah, I do love those shoes. I've tried numerous brands of running shoes and thus far, NB is my favorite. But I think I need to try another pair to make sure;-)

Anyway, coffee for breakfast. Later this morning I might have an eggwhite and spinach omelet. I've found the later I eat, the less hungry I am. And the less I eat, the less hungry I am.

I should get up and workout soon. I just need to get it over. Not sure what I am going to do, but I will let ya know soon.

I'm BACK!!!

I'm back here again. Got rid of the squarespace site. I just didn't think paying for a blog I rarely used was/is a good idea. I hope to start blogging more. I don't have the internet at home. Well, I have to use my blackberry as a modem and half the time it doesn't work. Nevertheless, I hope to start blogging more.

So, what's going on in my life. Here's some highlights:

• Baby is 7 months old today
• Still carrying baby weight
• After baby, got down to 152-155ish. Dr discovered thyroid and hormone issues, maybe even insulin problems
• Got down to 14, currently around 142-144
• Goal is to get back to 115ish; I'd be happy at 120
• Still in Texas
• Started new job on base. Much more challenging. For once in my life I am actually working
• I love summer time and all the produce that's available
• Summer means salads and grilling!
• Finally made it to the Farmer's Market. Went a little late, only bought peaches and pecans
• I need to start working out again. Started P90X, had finger surgery. I'd like to get back into it. My new job is right by a gym too; we'll see. Of course there was a small gym in the old building where I worked, so I won't hold me breath.

Bottom line: I haven't got the baby weight off yet, but that's my #1 goal. I still have close to 30 lbs to drop. The only way it will come off is with restricted calories and working out. By no means will I starve myself, but I have to consume less food, period. But I am not going back to the days of green beans and tuna. Sure, I'd love to look like a figure competitor, but fact is, I don't want to do the work. I peruse blogs and you can tell who belongs on the stage and who merely dreams of it. Those who belong are the ones that are working out like they're supposed to. They're eating what they're supposed to. They RARELY go off course, if at all. The ones who dream of it talk about getting on the stage but don't do the work to get up there. They're hit or miss with workouts and sticking to the meal plan and have every excuse in the book as to why they've gone off course. Well let me tell ya something: I am NEITHER. I would love to have the perfect chiseled body, but A--I am not going to do the work and B--I am not going to sit here whining about wanting to be on stage while I shove a cookie in my mouth. I will eat what I want, when I want, where I want but I will be smart about it. I just want to reach my goal weight and look good doing it. I don't need anything beyond that.

Meal plan for the next few days:

• Reuben's on whole wheat
• Tortellini salad
• Veggie Pizza

I've got nothing planned beyond that. I really haven't been eating dinner lately. I'd love for dinners to be light--salads, fruit, etc.

That's it. That's life in a nut shell. Stay tuned for more to come!

I've moved!

Check out my new space.

http://onehotmomma.org

I hope to be updating more often. Check out my new home.

Blog..Help!!!!!!!

All,

First of all, can anyone tell me how to change my flipping template without losing my widgets??? It's a little late now..I've lost alot of stuff and I can't find a lot of your pages. If you read this page, please please please see if you're added to my list of blogs I read. If not, leave me a comment with a URL of your blog. I KNOW I am missing Tiffany, Laura, Jess S. Those are the ones I know of. If I sat here long enough, I could recount all of the blogs I am missing. So please please please help me!!

Also, if anyone knows how to change templates without losing widgits, please tell me. Lastly, if you have a better place for templates, please share with me!

Alright, I have spent about 3 hours playing with this. I need to go be domestic and feed puppies, take puppy out, cook, and do laundry. Stay tuned....

Confession

I drink 10-16 ounces of regular coke or pepsi 5 days a week. I get headaches and I need the caffine to help it go away. I dont bother with the diet drinks. I drink the real stuff.

19/20 Weeks

Hi all. I'm 19 or 20 weeks preggo today. I think the doc changed my due date so I'm 19 weeks and 1 day. I'm having ANOTHER girl. Oh joy. When you already have 3 and a step daughter, adding a 5th girl to the mix isn't so much fun.

I'm sitting here watching the grill. Clint threw whole baking potatoes on it. I think they need to be nuked, then placed on the grill but he is man, and man know grilling, so woman need to listen. Whatever. They'll either burn or we will end up throwing them in the microwave in the end. He's currently gone to get gas in a gas can for my car. We went into town today (I live in the country) and he was driving but failed the notice the gas light come on. This thing comes on when you have like 30 miles till empty. It won't even tell me how far from empty it is because its that low. It couldve waited until the morning, but he decided to go now. He really wants a cigar although he quit the other day. Yeah right. Ill talk about that in a min. Meanwhile, I'm watching the food on the grill. Fun.

So he's moved to our new place. I move next Friday. He's decided he wants to eat only organic and natural foods. If you've read Stacey's blog, she points out that just because its organic it doesn't mean its healthy. An organic cookie is still a cookie. However, Clint is eating natural chicken, beef, veggies, etc. Granted its hot as hell here and he sweats a lot and loses fluids, he went from 217 to 205 in a week. That entire week he ate yummy good for you meat and veggies. All he drank was water and gatorade at work because they make him.(The are peculiar about work/rest cycles in the heat and buy gatorade and make you drink it) however, he's been drinking like 3 beers a night. And smoking cigars. He wants to eat well because of the information I was telling him about Jillian Michaels book. Yet he poisons his body with that garbage??? Why am I spending all of the extra money on organic goodness when he's just nullifying the effects? Sure, we've saved a ton of money by him not eating out. I'm just in awe that he wants the beer and cigars. I'm telling you--if its not organic, he's not eating it.

I'm looking forward to moving. We are on an acre here. There's pecan trees on the property. There's a swing on the porch. Clints seen deer every day this week. I was on the swing this morning and all I was missing was a cup of coffee! We are no longer by a highway so Mackenzie can roam around. And the best part--the town next to us--San Angelo--is awesome. Target, HEB (a kick booty grocery store), a mall, Academy Sporting Goods, Best Buy, Sams, Lowes--all in town. Previously, the nearest mall was 70 miles from my house. The nearest Target,Best Buy, and Academy was 98. Altus did have a Starbucks but it closed so the closest was 70 miles. I couldn't get organic stuff in Altus. Ezekiel Bread? Nope. Amy's Burritos? No way. Natural Beef? Ha. Kombucha Tea? When hell froze over. You COULD get forzen natural chicken breast. There were 2 of Amy's soups. They FINALLY got greek yogurt. I had 3 choices to shop--2 small United Supermarkets and a Super Wal-Mart. I had to travel 70 miles to a health food store. There weren't any Farmer's Markets or roadside stands. Wal-Mart sold like 4 organic veggies. It was pathetic. I told Kelly O about this and I think she thinks I was kidding. I WANTED to eat better--but couldn't. Yes, I can eat non-organic foods--but things like Ezekiel Bread and Kombucha were non existant. For Pete's sake, I couldn't even buy quinoia. (I think I spelled that wrong). Yeah, I wanted to make several recipes from Tosca Reno's Clean Eating Cookbook but couldn't because I couldn't find the products. What the hell is rocket because they don't sell it there. If its not spinich, green leaf, red leaf, romaine, iceburg, or butter lettuce, you're not gonna buy it. Anyway, that's all changed. I can buy everything I need at HEB. There's a whole section for stuff you would find at a Health Food store. Ok, you all might find it at your grocery store!! But within this section, there's flax seed oil, Kefir, Braggs ACV, Protein Powder, Glutamine, Vitamins, Supplements, etc. I'm so thrilled!

Ok, the grill master is back and he's aggravating me--making me grab this and that. So I'm out. Have a nice weekend.

A picture is worth at least one word....

Grow up

Have you ever knows someone that is newly pregnant and you know they're going to be a drama queen about it? You just know that they're going to lay in bed all day complaining about morning sickness when they're perfectly fine and will run to the doctor for every ache and pain. I know someone like this. She's 18 and was trying to get knocked up and got her wish. Now she's complaining that "sugar is spilling into her urine", she's had 2 infections, and if she keeps going the way she's going, the heat's gonna land her in the hospital. She's about 8 weeks pregnant and she's freaking out about all of the above and a baby kicking her in the stomach. Granted, none of those things are good, but it's not life threatening. A--if you do have gestational diabetes, this is treatable. The main thing is changing your diet. B--Infections are common. What kind of infection she had is a mystery to me. I suspect yeast infections which, guess what, is common during pregnancy and is treatable! C--the only time she's exposed to the heat is when she gets in her car to go somewhere. She acts like she's the only woman in the world that's ever been preggo during the summer and she's super fragile and might melt. D--Do you know how much padding and cushion there is for a baby in your belly. I think Mackenzie kicks me on a daily basis. I think there's a HUGE difference between getting kicked at 8 weeks and getting kicked at 38 weeks. At 8 weeks, you have A LOT of padding there. I can understand being concerned, but this chick sneezes and thinks she needs to see the doc because something is wrong. Hypochondriacs should not procreate.

When we heard she was trying to get preggo, the first things I said was that she was going to be very dramatic. And she is. I hate to see what the remaining 32 weeks will bring for her. Oh wait, I won't have to see it. I will be gone! YAY. That's a good thing because I hate drama.

Life

I am trying to have the strength to get up and workout. I really want to sleep...Pregnancy is kicking my booty. I really need to pack, but I really need to workout too. My arms are getting fat!!!

I have a topic I want to briefly talk about--excuses.

How many of you are still trying to lose weight but you aren't really working for it? To lose weight/shape your body, there's 2 parts to the equation. Diet+exercise=good body! No diet+no exercise=bad body. How many people say they want to lose weight/tone, but you won't do the work? If you're constantly missing your workouts and making excuses for missing them, then I don't believe you REALLY want it. If you're not sticking to your diet, then you don't really want it. <<<>>>

I need to workout and eat right. Who cares if I am preggo? That doesn't give me the license to do what I want. I guess I *can* but then once I have the baby, the struggle to get the weight off is going to be amplified. I don't want that. Unless I get up and workout, then no one is to blame for the flabby arms but myself!

Piss on heartburn!

Can life get any better? There's sooooooooooooooooo much going on right now. SOOOOOOOO much. Life is amazing. It's really amazing how some things can have a domino effect. Have you ever noticed that when things go bad, everything seems to go bad. Your dog dies, you lose your job, you wreck your car...Ok, maybe not that extreme, but you get the point. What about when things go good? They say bad things come in 3's, what about the good ones? So far I have two really great things happen back to back. I don't know what your belief system is, but I do believe that everything happens for a reason. And I firmly believe that a higher power definitely had a hand in this. Turning 30 turned out to be amazing. I really think this is going to be the best year yet!

So I have been eating out alot. I swore I wouldn't but geeze, I haven't been up to cooking. Since Clint works nights, I try to come back to town to have dinner with him. But that means if I come home, I only have one hour and that's not enough time to cook! Sure, if I wanted garbage like Hamburger Helper, then that would work. But to really cook--cut up meat and veggies and slowly cook everything--that takes time. Sure, some things I make can take less than an hour, but I don't want to be rushed. Anyway, I spend today cooking a few meals. I spent half the day. And I didn't get everything cooked. But here's a glimpse of my meal plan:

Chickens salad on a bed of lettuce with asparagus
Kashi Frozen Pizza with Salad
Turkey spaghetti with whole wheat noodles and salad
Veggie Soup
Beef Roast with red potatoes and organic carrots

YUM YUM

I don't have anything more planned because we are going to be moving our stuff this weekend. REEEKKKK. We are moving 2/3 of it. Clint is going first and when I get a job, I will go. All I am keeping here is my bed, futon, TV, coffee table, bunk beds, kids TV, Mackenzie's bed, kitchen appliances, washer, dryer, fridge, clothes, bathroom stuff. EVERYTHING else is going!!!

Alright, it's date night! I gotta get dressed for that!

Hola! Como esta?

Hey everyone! Hope you all are doing well. I know you are because I have been reading your blogs, just haven't updated mine. Thanks to the request of Jess (Hawaii), here I am!!!

Not much has changed these days. i am sick off and on. I am now suffering from some nasty headaches. Ugggg....

We just got back from a wonderful trip South. We went to Louisiana, Alabama, Mississippi, then back to Louisiana. It was so wonderful, we were about to pack our bags to move to Louisiana!!! I wish I had pics to share from the trip but I didn't take a camera. Yeah.

God works in mysterious ways. Clint's stepdad gave him some contact info for offshore companies. We sent in his resume and the guy was really interested but didn't have any work this week--maybe next. I didn't like that. I told my boss that the private sector scares me right now. On my way home for lunch that day, Clint got not one, but two emails (same subject) about a permanent job offer at Goodfellow AFB in San Angelo, Texas. (We currently work for the Air Force.). I was so thrilled. We decided to take it. If everything goes well, we should be moving in a month. Wait. He should be moving. I am not going right now. Not until I get a permanent job on base or until I find something else. However, if this doesn't happen in a timely manner (like August), then I will be moving. We are in S.A. now about to go look at a house to rent. It's PERFECT on the outside Now we have to see the inside!

So that's whats happening here!!! Hopefully I will blog more for ya later!!!

Because you deserve it

I get on here almost daily to read blogs. But when it comes to me updating, I feel fatigued. Lame, I know. But it seems like such a chore. Like me getting on a treadmill. I got on here to blog, but I decided that I wanted to read Jess (Hawaii) and Jess (Preggo) blogs. But NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I made myself get on here to post.

So here's the scoop: I have been feeling like D-O-G lately. The last time I posted I said I felt ick. that was about a month ago. I still feel that way. I started feeling really bad Friday and it hasn't let up much. I *AM*feeling better, but not much. I just took a phenegran a little while ago. I haven't been eating. Cooking dinner hasn't been happening. Neither has working out. Or anything else. I feel REAL bad.

That's it. I feel bad. Nothing else to report. Sorry:-(

I feel icky

I guess I am in denial. I think I really am suffering from some form of morning sickness--likes it comes in different kinds! It doesn't feel like I am imminent of vomiting but I just feel sick. I can't exactly describe it as nausea, but that's the only thing to describe it as. The thing is, I will be hungry, I will eat, then I will feel that way. I felt great all day today, I took a nap, and now I feel sick again. I tried to eat but that didn't help matters. I didn't have this with my other kiddos so I am not sure if this is morning sickness or not or if I have some kind of funk?!?!

The thought of meat makes me want to gag although I successfully ate steak yesterday. The only think that seems to make my stomach feel better is carby things like bread and potatoes. But regardless of what I eat, I feel ill afterwards.

Beyond that, I am doing okay. Hoping to get in a workout in tonight when I feel better.

Hope all of you are well.

Fatigue

Wow I am tired. Daylight Savings Time couple with pregnancy equals extreme fatigue. Its almost 1 and I can barely keep my eyes open.

I have found something to combat fatigue: working out. If I workout in the afternoons/evenings, I don't feel so crappy! If I don't workout, I want to cry because I'm so tired. Too freakin bad I'm at work right now. Man I need a nap or an elliptical.

Slow and Steady Wins The Race

That's what I was telling myself on the elliptical today. I was moving like a turtle on that thing today. I guess I should focus on the positive: I WAS at the gym. I WAS working out. That's gotta count for something right?

Daylights savings time really jacks me up. Yesterday I was about to cry at 5pm because I was so tired. I knew if I took a nap, I wouldn't sleep well at all. I haven't slept well since the time change. So instead of laying on the couch, I got on my gazelle for over an hour. I felt GREAT afterwards. G-R-E-A-T. I was well energized. So today after work I did the same thing. Well, minus about 40+ minutes;-). Now it's after 9:30 and I am still awake! Exercise does a body good. Especially this pregnant body of mine. I'm not sure if it's the time change or this baby, but one of the two is kicking my butt. Luckily I found a way to combat the tiredness and stay in shape!

That's all I have. My husband posted it on myspace so I figured I'd tell you all too. I've never been superstitious about telling before the 2nd trimester so there's no reason to be now. I wanted to do things a little different this time--not tell anyone, not find out the gender, not have an epidural, not gain a ton....Hopefully the latter 3 will work! Jess is my muse for two of those!

Countdown: 82 days

Hola everyone! I'm here--alive and well.

In 82 days I will be heading home to Louisiana. We will be en route to Alabama. Figured I would stop by and see my family. I haven't been home in almost 3 years and haven't seen my bothers in geeze, like 6 years. I might even have to see some of my old friends when I am there...*cough cough Tiffany*. Anyway, I want to look smoking when I get there! My brother plans on cooking me a seafood feast, so I must get slender now!

I've done really well this past weekend. Today was awesome. After a hr of cardio, I had an egg white omelet with spinach, green peppers, onions, mushrooms, jalapenos, and a 1sp of cheese with hot sauce, oatmeal with 1 tsp pb, tuna on 1 slice wheat toast, 1 rice cake with 1 tsp pb and 2 tsp sugar free strawberry jam, 2 pieces beef jerky, and 2 turkey hotdogs with 1/2 cup turkey chili with jalapenos, onions, 1 tbsp cheese, and mustard. That was 300 calories and the worst part of my day. I am going to try to get up at 5am every morning to knock out my cardio. Wish me luck.

I just wanted to post a quick update. I am reading every ones blogs. I'm still here.

February

It's February. I can't believe it's February.

My goal in January was to write down what I ate everyday of the month. Granted, I didn't write it when I wrote it, but I did write it. I need to write down the last two days then I am finished. I *did* mess up one day. I thought the current date was the 28th, so I backtracked to the 26th and realized it was the 29th. I wasn't going to tear the pages out or scratch through the entries. I have about 100 food journals and if I mess something up, I usually get a new one. If I miss a day, I get a new one. It's insane, I know.

So now that it's February, what am I going to do? I am definitely going to write what I eat. But shouldn't I take it up a notch? Shouldn't I add to it? Not necessarily add to my food journal but add to my "goals?" Considering I only messed up one day, I would say I am at a 95% success rate. So what's next? What can I do for February that I will stick to?

I've decided to revert to "old ways" this month. I am going back to chicken, fish, turkey, broccoli, green beans, asparagus, etc. I am going back to working out 6 days a week. No, I am not hiring a trainer. Instead, I am utilizing the knowledge I gained from my time with a trainer and I am going to do it on my own. This month will be full of meal planning. This month will be full of gallons of water. This month will be full of myoplex lite. This month will be full of packing my food everywhere. I've enjoyed the past few months eating what I want when I want. I've lost weight too. But I want to change it up a little and try something "different."

So far this month I have:

• Ate egg whites and oatmeal for breakfast
• Did 60 mins of cardio
• Ate tuna, 1/2 sweet potato, and small salad
• Did triceps and bicep workout
• Drank myoplex lite with glutamine
• Cooked a beef roast, 3 pieces tilapia, 3 sweet potatoes, 7 chicken breasts, 8 turkey burgers and I am marinating 2 steaks
• Drank 1/2 gallon of water
• Made countless trips to the bathroom
• Took my multivitamin and 2 flax, Fish, and Borage Capsules

I'd say February is off to a good start.

Mayo...Ick...

Good evening everyone. Long time no see. It's been sleeting, and icing, and snowing down here. It's been cold. I don't like that.

I want to start off by telling you I use mayo. No Miracle whip. Mayo. Not light stuff. Real Mayo. But tonight was a little overkill...

I need groceries but it's cold outside so I ran in to Wal-Mart to pick something up. I know I had frozen chicken patties at home, so I picked up some frozen fish--like fish sticks--because I wasn't sure how many chicken patties I had. (They're breaded btw. I know, shame on me.). I picked up some shredded cabbage for my Foo-Me Salad and some frozen sugar snap peas and misc. veggies. I also grabbed a box of some bacon ranch pasta stuff. With my fish, I like tarter sauce like my dad makes--green onions, dill pickles, and mayo. So I made that. I pour hot sauce all over the chicken and I like to eat that with a little homemade ranch--you know the packets you mix with milk and MAYO. Hmmmm...Then I mix the pasta seasoning packet with 1/2 cup MAYO. Hang on. What's wrong here? Holy cow that's alot of mayo for tonight. I don't mean the quantity as in, I used a cup of mayo total. I mean there are 3 different parts of my meal that has mayo in it. Uggg...I think I am going to be sick. I do like mayo, but not that much. No way. And as you can tell, this wasn't well thought out at all. I would never do something like that. That is WAY too much mayo.

Sorry that this is what you get from me. I'm a boring person at times. I will be the first to admit that.