And it got me thinking

I was sitting here thinking about what I really wanted to do with my weightloss/fitness routine. Do I want to try BFL? Do I want to hire someone? Do I want to do my own thing? Then it hit me: I don't know what I want. I decided to give my brain a rest and moved on to blogs. I read a post from Hayley and it hit the nail on the head. she too was talking about she didn't know what her goals were. Granted, I wasn't really thinking about goals, but more like the avenues to take to get to my goals, but it brought up a bigger issue for me: I don't know what my goals are either. If you look at my sidebar, you will see a list of goals. On that you will see that I want to get to 115 lbs. You will even read that in my "About Me" section. But this was pre-weights. I wanted to be 115 lbs because that was my weight before I had Mackenzie (#3). I loved that number. I felt thin. But the truth is that I still had fat and flab on me. I don't want to be like that again. I want a VERY toned body, hence, my using weights. I think the main reason I have 115 stuck in my head is because that was what I weighed before and that weight allowed me to wear the clothes in my closet. I have sizes 2-7 in there. Granted, I can wear some 5's now, but I am not nearly as thin as I was. One of my goals is to be able to wear those clothes again. I guess the # really isn't that important. But it makes me wonder....Can I still weigh 115 and have a toned body without looking like I am too thin? If I had a really toned, tight body that could fit in my clothes again, how much would I weigh...120?125?130? Muscle weighs more than fat so surely I would weigh more.

So that's my goal for this weekend....I need to figure out what I want to do (amongst other things). There's SO much I want to do (and that includes things not fitness/food related). It makes my head spin thinking about it. I need to learn to prioritize and make time for everything I need. It's easier said than done of course. I can schedule 5-6 for blog time, then 6-7 workout time, then 7-8 cooking and laundry time, then 8-9 cleaning kitchen and bath time, etc. but it doesn't work like that because I have a baby that doesn't like my schedule. It would be so easy if I could schedule 5-6 Mackenzie time, but she really needs MUCH more of my attention that that. Sigh. I still need to prioritize things!