Sunday, April 13, 2008

I feel great!

I think weight loss is a mental thing. No. I retract that statement. I KNOW it is. In the past, I have successfully been able to lose weight because I was able to mentally condition myself. I was in a mindset where I could eat 1 small bite of cheesecake and be satisfied versus eating a whole slice. I could go out to dinner and eat a small amount of my meal instead of gorging. I could sit diligently and eat whatever I was eating while my friends ate lunch. But it was all because of my mindset. Since getting pregnant/having Mackenzie, I haven't been in the right mindset. I have tried and tried but quickly failed.

However, I think *this* is going to be different. Right now, my mind is in the right place. I WANT to lose weight. I WILL lose weight. I WILL follow this plan. It WILL work for me.

So far today, I have been dead on my plan. I *did* cheat, twice. The first time I added 1 tsp of fat free, sugar free creamer to my coffee. Ohhhh dear. I added 10 calories. And the second cheat was eating a 1 inch piece of asparagus. It wasn't time to eat it, but I needed to taste it to see if it was tender. I've either cooked frozen, canned, or baked fresh asparagus. I've never cooked fresh asparagus on the stove top so sticking it with a fork told me nothing. I had to eat it. Oh no...another 2 calories!

Do I really think those two discrepancies are a huge deal? Absolutely not. I don't even know if the creamer had that many calories, and it was fat free, sugar free, and made with Splenda. And I KNOW the piece of asparagus didn't ruin things!

But those two discrepancies are MUCH better than what could've happened today and this next scenario will show you just how much will power I have.

I DROVE my husband to the donut shop. I ordered him two cinnamon rolls and 20 donut holes. Then I drove him to Starbucks and got him a Venti White Chocolate Mocha. He sat in the car eating and drinking and it didn't bother me. He DID ask "Are you sure you don't want a bite?" and I wanted to fly off the handle because he KNOWS I don't and I had just discussed the fact that I would greatly appreciate it if he wouldn't ask me if I wanted those things or tried to feed me a bite. So it really pisses me off that he would do such a thing. I can handle him eating/drinking in front of me. That's fine. But to taunt me flat out pisses me off. Moving on, we bought the baby some Ritz Cheese Crackers. I handed her several and they were by me the whole time in the car. I could've eaten one, or two, or three, etc. And I probably would've if I wasn't serious about this. But I didn't. I didn't even lick the remains off of my fingers. Score!

I'm very excited and this feels SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO right. I am very excited about this journey!

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