Merry Christmas!

I'd like to start off by wishing all of you a very Merry Christmas. If you don't celebrate Christmas, well, Happy Holidays. Enjoy your day off.

I weighed 128.2 today. Not too bad considering I haven't been trying to lose weight. While it is a HUGE goal of mine, I haven't been 100% motivated. I am often filled with excuses--my knee was hurt, the baby was up in the living room and I didn't want to work out because she would get in the way, I had to cook dinner, I didn't feel good, I had to go shopping. While they are all valid excuses, they're still that--an EXCUSE. If I had time to watch House, I had time to workout. If I had time to take an hour nap on the couch before bed, I had time to work out. So what if I had to shop or the baby is still up. With the exception of getting home eat 11pm, there's no valid reason for not doing it. I normally go to bed around 10. The baby is in bed by 8. I am finished with dinner by 8. Yes, I am more than happy to sit around and watch TV or take a nap but you know why, I need to get off my ass and work out. I can watch TV while I am doing it or after. I can sleep after. Hell, I have time to update my blog and check e-mail and message boards but no time to work out. So I say. There is ALWAYS time to work out. ALWAYS. I chose NOT to find that time. I chose to do something else. Well, this is all about to change.

I just found some before and after pics taken a few years ago. I was about 148 in the before and probably 128 in the after. I got down to 115 so I was smaller. But I was disgusted with how I looked. Yes, you could tell a difference in the pics but I don't look good at 128. I had my husband take pics of me a few months ago but I have lost them. He kept on showing people the pics on the camera (of other things) and i know I deleted them but I thought I had saved them. Guess not. I will take some more possibly today. Anyway, I am not happy AT ALL With the way I look. Even at 115 I still have flab. I don't want that. I want to be a tones, tight, 115.

My stomach will never be perfect. It won't even be close to perfect. I gained way too much weight with my first pregnancy and the damage was done. I do not have elastic skin. Even if there weren't any stretch marks, I sill have loose skin. I saw a plastic surgeon and she said the only thing I can do to get rid of it is have a tummy tuck. Did I mention that I store fat in my stomach? So even if I had essentially NO body fat, I would still have the saggy skin. Also, I had an appendectomy and they had to cut me open because my appendix had ruptured. I have a 4 inch (crooked) scar from my belly button down. So, with the scar, loose skin, and stretch marks, no matter how little body fat I had, the abs will never be right without a tummy tuck. I do plan on going that route ONE DAY. But no time soon. In the mean time, I plan on really focusing on the body parts that are visible. I don't plan on wearing a bikini out, I don't wear shorts that often, but I wear tank tops all the time! I want to have killer arms! I won't neglect my legs or my abs, but I know they will get the least visibility. I want arms to die for!!!

Since I am writing a "to-do" list, I HAVE to drink more water. I HAVE to. I do not consume anywhere near 64 ounces of liquid a day---no coffee, coke, water, tea, etc. I just don't drink fluids. Never did. If I get 20 ounces of liquid in my body, it's a good day. Seriously. I typically have headaches and my husband said it's probably because I am in a constant state of dehydration. Sure, I walk around with a dry mouth, but I never do anything to cure it--i.e. DRINK something. So, my goal is to consume 64 ounces a day. And not just 64 ounces of anything. 64 ounces of water. Now, I will cheat and put the crystal light packets in it. If you're relying on me to drink plain water, FORGET it.

I haven't quite devised my work out plan. I plan on using the bowflex and free weight until I can get more free weights. This is a sad story but right now, 5 lbs is what I am using. I tried the 10 lb weights but they were still too heavy and the stores around here are sold out of the 8lb weights. When I first started working out YEARS ago, the most I could use was 2 lb weights. When I stopped going to the classes (in 2004) just a couple months later, I could lift 15 lbs for my biceps and 12 for my triceps. So, laugh at the 5 lbs weights but remember, I am just starting again. Anyway, I absolutely hate the bowflex so.....

I also want to use my exercise trampoline while I am watching TV. See, I told you I could watch TV and work out. I don't watch that much TV so, I think a rule will be if I am watching TV, I will be using the trampoline. In addition to that, I have some cardio DVD's/tapes--kickboxing and Tae Bo. I will add those in as well. And, I have my Yoga Booty Ballet DVD's that I want to use. It's mainly toning. Oh, I also have some steps and The Firm tapes. I can do that too. Did I mention I have free access to a gym at work. I really can't go after work because there's no one to take care of the baby, but I think I may go 3 days a week to get in some cardio. Hey, speaking of excuses, I can't whine about not working out at home. Hello, I could've done it during the day at work! Back to the point at hand, the only classes I can attend are Yoga and Pilates, which is fine by me.

I guess I will close this novel. The main point is that I need to work out. Period.