Here's some pics from the 4th

I wanna talk about me, I wanna talk about I...

I think that Tiffany is the only one that has a chance of understanding the title...it's from a song...

Moving on...

Lately, I've been thinking about me. I've been doing for me. I've been doing things that make me happy. these past few months, I've forgotten about myself. I fell off the workout/weight loss bandwagon. I realized that I am the only one that can get me back on.

This is my life. These are my choices. This is about me. My life is going to be what I make of it. Yes, it helps when others support you. But something finally clicked in my head and I realized that if I don't do for myself, no one else will.

The other day I went to my daughter's (7th) birthday party. I walked around with the baby an took her in the pool. After about 1/2 an hr with her, I finally gave her to my husband. He rolled his eyes and made a face, but I had spent some quality time with her. I went off for a swim with my other daughters. It was nice. Mackenzie is my world, but so are Hanna and Hailey. Mackenzie may need me more than they do, but they need me too. Mackenzie was fussing while Hailey was opening her presents and Clint grumpily tended to her. I'm sure he wasn't thrilled about that. But I wanted to watch the joy in Hailey's eyes as she opened her gifts. Tonight, Clint fed and put the baby down and I spent some time outside with Hanna and Hailey. It was so nice. Off topic here, we were talking about boobies. Von and Aaron (two guy friends were out there). I told Hailey that she didn't need to talk about boobies any more and she looks down her shirt and says "I'm so sexy, I can look at myself naked." Then later she was talking about sexy and I told her she didn't need to say that word. She said "Fine, I'll say hot." This is what comes out of the mouth of a 7 year old.

Anyway, it's nice to spend time with them. It's nice to NOT worry about Clint getting mad because he has to deal with the baby. It's nice to do for myself.

That's it. Girls just had a bath. I'm going to put up my dishes and the rest of the groceries and pack my lunch for tomorrow. As Kelly O. says, if you fail to plan, you plan to fail!

My Sunday

Happy Sunday Dear Readers,

Today I went grocery shopping. Bought *most* of my food for the week. I am certain I will have to go back for more veggies. We've got the grill going and have some kick booty steaks on there. I'm also cooking 4 ground chicken burgers, about 9 ground turkey burgers, 9 pieces of tilapia, and 6 chicken breasts. I think that may be too much food for this coming week. But I am sure someone will get in to my food, so that's okay. I will be steaming my broccoli in a bit and boiling some eggs. I love spending my Sundays getting ready for the week. And I am not being facetious.

Gotta go cook. Will update later!

I feel like I've been run over

I got at least 10 hours of sleep last night but I sure feel like crap. If I get too much I feel bad. If I get too little I feel bad. I think 8 hrs is my happy medium.

I got sick last week. We had went to Abilene to see my parents and my 2 yr old baby sister was sick. Just a common cold but it had me down all week. I worked out on Monday but didn't do anything else all week long. I just didn't have the strength. But this is a new week. After this I am going to get my water ready and have some egg whites and oatmeal. I know it's kinda of late in the day for all that, but I'm doing it anyway. If I'm getting back on track, I'm going to to do it right from point A to point B.

That's all I have. Sorry. I need to fold laundry, put more clothes in, wash dishes, make breakfast, then I need to take my step-daughter home. What a fun life I have.

Now that my head is screwed on straight

What a wild few weeks. Things are still nuttier than a fruit cake. On Friday, I drove down to Abilene (about 3 hours south) because my dad and his wife were en route to Denver and stopped there. Theoretically, it would've made more sense for them to come to my house since I am further north, but they wanted to eat at a Mexican restaurant we ate at 8 years ago. We've been trying to get the salsa, and he really wanted some, so he drove there. Anyway, me, Clint, Mackenzie, and our frined Von went there. The next morning we got up and went to a car auction, Academy, Target then Johnny Carino's. We stopped at a liquor store then as we were leaving Von noticed the batter light was on. GREAT. We just replaced the battery. We got to an AutoZone, they (both mechanics) checked it out, and decided to limp it home. 70 miles from home, we're on the side of the road with a dead vehicle. A man stopped to help us, jump started the car, let us go to his house, until our friend Cox came with new batteries. We drove 30 miles out of our way to get to O'Reilly's, where we bought an alternator. The problem wasn't fixed. So then we drove 70 miles home. What a weekend. I crashed on the couch around 10pm, went to my bed around midnight, and got up at 8:30am.

I've already put a load of laundry on, folded towels, and cleaned two bathrooms. I have A LOT more laundry and dishes to do. We have to go get Clint's daughter tonight. What a weekend! have I said that already?

So I FINALLY talked to Tony. What a GREAT conversation. I decided to go with the program, at least for another month. I feel really good about this decision. I just need to make time for myself--getting to the gym, eating right, etc. I HAVE to do this. I am not near my goals. Maybe this next month will bring me there. It better. I am NOT wasting another month!

That's all I've got. I was going to wait until tomorrow to get back on track, but why put off another day? The sucky thing is that my dad brought me some fresh corn, cantaloupe, and watermelon from the garden. GRRRRRRRRRRRRR...HE brought me creamed corn and red beans, but it's frozen, so it can wait. I guess Clint and Von will be eating the boiled corn and okra. (Almost forgot the okra!)

Random

Realizing Love© Richard Sheak I take a deep breath,say four words and let my true tears fall,when you answer me maybe this wont work at all,friends we can still remain,but since then no longer have i heard you speak my name,felt your hand touch my palm,heard your thoughts,your deepest secrets that you hide,I close my eyes as a tear rolls down my cheek,and I imagine the words you speak,the words you say,the games you played,the options I've tried,to attempt to keep our friendship alive,as I've failed in all of the above,I admit by chance maybe i just fell in love,my heartbrakes and it aches,I've never felt so depressed,and yet all the time I wish for only the best,I wish for love,I wish for everything to go my way,I wish that all this hurt and all this pain would all just fade away,I feel alone,So unloved,And yet i wonder is this how its meant to be?I wish i meant to you what you so fondly mean to me,I close my eyes as a tear rolls down my cheek,And i imagine the voice you speak,The words you say,The games you play,the options that i tried,to attempt for our friendship to stay alive,As i know that i have failed in all of the above,I must admit i just fell in love.


I was cleanign out my inbox and my step mom forwarded this to me. I know it has nothing to do with working out, but I liked it and wanted to share it before it got deleted forever.

I'm alive! I'm alive!

My life has been nuts these past few weeks. Work, home, you name it, it's been crazy!

So where do I begin? Well, I haven't been to the gym in about a month. I got a new boos almost 2 weeks ago. The point leading up to that process was a very busy one. And now that he is here, it's still busy. I did try to go to the gym after work one say but it was insanely packed. I've never seen it that packed. Must be kids that are out of school. I haven't tried during my lunch hour. I really need to find time for ME. I've been cutting my lunches shorter and shorter or sometimes working through it. That needs to change.

My eating has been okay. I am not eating BADLY, but some days I do eat like 4 fun sized almond joys. Bad girl. But here's the kicker: I am losing weight! I am wearing my old clothes. Ideally, I would like to lose 10 more lbs to reach my goal number. But I am pretty happy with my size now. HOWEVER, I will not let that comfort stall me.

I think I just had my last month with Tony. In fact, I know I have. The first month, I lost 8 lbs like that. But those next two months were a waste of my $$. I am the one that controls me, and what I eat and when I work out. But I was just SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO busy. I was too damn busy to really grocery shop. On top of that, I played phone-e-mail tag with him and that pretty much just added to my stalling. I e-mailed him, he e-mailed me, he called, missed his call, he e-mailed, I e-mailed, he called, missed it, returned call, e-mailed, got e-mail asking when a good time to call would be, then I heard NOTHING for a week. I suddenly got another e-mail asking when I good time to call was and if I had a cell phone. In all honestly, that rubbed me the WRONG way. It was like I was someone he had never talked to before in his life. DO I HAVE A CELL PHONE? From day 1 he had my cell #. I am not really sure what he meant in that e-mail. did I have a cell over a home phone or work phone? I dunno. But that left me hugely disappointed and I didn't respond. I KNOW this isn't the case, I KNOW it. But I felt it so I am going to share it. I suddenly felt like I didn't matter, that I was just some random person, and he was too busy for me. I know he trains a lot of people and I felt like I just got lost somewhere in the crowd. So, at that moment, I decided that I didn't want to take up any more of his time. I probably should've expressed this to him, so he could set me straight. But I honestly just don't want to waste any more $$, because that's what I felt like I did these last two months. Tony is a GREAT trainer. He really is. That first month was awesome. But when my life became hectic, I pretty much gave up. That wasn't him, it was me. I think that if I had been able to talk to him, he could've pulled me out of this trance, and all would be well. But it didn't happen like that. And here I am.

So what have I been up to this month? Heavy drinking. Copious amounts of alcohol. Seriously. Prior to meeting my husband, I would go out on weekends and drink and have a good time. Once I got married, and had Mackenzie, I couldn't count the number of times I've been drunk on one hand. But like every weekend for the past month, we've had people over. And I would drink. Now, when I say alot, it really wasn't a lot. But it was alot for me. I took 2 sips of Moscato yesterday and had one hell of a buzz. I can only imagine what this is doing to my metabolism. ICK. But I AM still losing weight??????

Alright, I better go. My husband is bitching that I am on the computer. I haven't been on the f**king thing in God knows how long. Oh wait. I might spend 5 mins a day on it. But when he wants me up his ass and I am not there, he starts bitching that I spend too much time on the computer. Excuse me. That asshole has spent every free moment in the shop or playing Guitar Hero--like he's doing now. WHY DO I NEED TO GO SIT NEXT TO HIM FOR THAT? No, instead, he says I am always on the computer. FUCK OFF DICKHEAD. I haven't updated my blog since June, yet I am on the computer ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL the time.....asshole.

Because it's the right thing to do...

I guess I should post something. I have been so incredibly busy. Between housing storm victims, to taking care of 4 kids, to returning kids, and working late, I've been swamped. I've had no time for the gym. Heck, I've had no time to shop for groceries. I mean, I have time to run in and pick up this or that, but no real time to bulk shop. Also, my tanning salon is closing on the 30th. There's only one other one in town and I am NOT paying $45 or $60 a month to tan there. The thing that sucks is that on the 17th or of May I redeemed 2 unlimited months of tanning. That means that I still have 1 left and they're closing. GREAT. I did read that they would reimburse individual sessions but not unlimited. I think I SHOULD get reimbursed since it was one full month that was never used. Know what I mean? So I've been trying to take advantage of that as best as I can. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR...

I have some other stuff going on but I don't want to post it on here. Too many people have mouths. And too many people like to run those mouths. And some things just don't need to be public information, although it's really NOT that big of a deal. Isn't it sad that sometimes you can't post the simplest of things on your blogs because people will gossip about anything? Oh well. I'll tell my close friends (Kelly, e-mail coming your way) and if you want to know what else is going on with m e, leave me a comment or e-mail me and I will fill you in!

My house is a mess. I need to do laundry. The last child goes home tomorrow. Praise God! The kids are fun and all, but when you go from having 3 people in the house to having 6, it gets hectic. I mean, when I go anywhere, I don't have to get one kid ready, I have to get THREE of them ready. #1 and #2 are pretty self sufficient. They can get themselves dressed, brush their hair and teeth, put their dirty clothes away, etc. etc. They're 8 and 6. Of course they don't need my help. My step daughter is a little more needy. The kid is 5 and by no means is she a dummy, but while #1 and #2 go in the bathroom to to brush their teeth, she is standing there staring off into space. The kid has NO initiative. Unless I tell her to do something, she won't do it. Heck, even when I do tell her to go do something, she still stand there like she's unsure of what she's supposed to be doing in spite of doing the same routine for the past 2 years at my house. So I pretty much have two small children to take care of because I can't trust her to get herself dressed or brush her teeth or put her clothes away etc. without my watching her. I don't have to brush her teeth or put her clothes on for her, but sometimes I think my life would be easier if I did b/c it would shave off 1/2 of the time. But I raise big kids, not babies. Oh, and #2 likes to talk, talk, talk....so it's nice to have it quiet for a change!!!!!!

What else is going on? I got a new wedding ring. There's something to gossip about. The first one was my great grandmothers. It was very frail and fragile and it was breaking. I could've had it repaired, but I didn't want to materially alter the ring. I already felt bad about having it sized and soldered. The second one was a cheap ring my husband picked out. It was the thought that counts. I never wore it though...not sure why. So, he went out and bought me another one. The funny thing was that I had JUST looked at a ring..IDENTICAL...and it was 1/4 less expensive and he ran out and got this one. If he hadn't gotten it sized, I SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO would've returned it and got the other one. But it was too late. I had told him to go to the other place, but he didn't listen. (He told me he was going to get a new ring). I've tried and tried to take a pic of it, but it won't come out, so I will paste a link to it. He felt bad because he REALLY wanted to get me an $8000 ring. There's NO WAY I can afford that. His ex wife's ring was $4,000 and he feels bad that he didn't spend that much on me. He says that he loves me more and should spend three times as much on me. But as I pointed out, he had NO hand in her ring. SHE went to Zales. SHE picked it out. SHE financed it. It's not like he picked it out and paid for it. Hell, he was away for Air Force training when she did this. So to me, this doesn't count. And his mom goes on and on about how beautiful her ring was. Well if I went out and picked out my own ring and wanted to finance it, then I could pick out a damn gorgeous ring that will blind you. But that's not right to me. I showed him what I did and didn't like, but I wanted HIM to pick it out as it was a gift from HIM. I am married to HIM...not to myself. Some of you may have picked out your own rings...and that's fine. But I want something that my partner picked out on his own accord. And that he did. He didn't get anything I would've picked out. In fact, this is twice now that I showed him exact rings that I liked but he didn't pick out. But he is getting rings that I do like. Heck, even if I thought it was wicked ugly, I would love it since HE picked it out. He actually did really well. I had tried on several rings and the bigger they are, the wrong they look on me. I am a petite girl and some rings look so fake on my because they overwhelm my finger. Sometimes I look down and I think the ring looks tiny, then at other angles, it looks kind of big. All I can say is that he did really well with picking a ring that complemented my finger. When I had tried on the twin at another location, the sales lady said "That's it, that's the ring for you, those others were too big for your tiny little hand." I know that some of you are much thinner and are sporting rocks. Good for you. My ring is perfect for me!

http://www.crownjewelers.com/ViewDetails.asp?ProID=1788&SrchKeyword=&SrchCategory=5&SrchSubCat=16&srchPrice=

Pay no attention to the price, carats, etc. My ring actually has round stones, but this is the closest one I could find.

Oh wait...try this one. This one is more accurate as far as looks goes:
http://www.zales.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2863396


Okay, last thing. I bought a new pair of shorts. SIZE THREE!!!! WOO-HOO. I haven't lost any more weight. In fact, this morning showed my back in the 130's. Now, I am not a fat cow that eats a freakin cake then scratches my head saying "I don't know why I gained weight...it must me water weight." I am not a fan of those that blame everything on water weight and can't take accountability for overeating or not working out. But in my case, to have a 4 lbs gain overnight when I didn't eat anything more than usual and the fact that I am cramping like a MF'er...I think it is water weight. I wish TOM would just get here so I can get on with life! I've never noticed a weight gain during that time. But with all of the cramping, I KNOW it's about to happen. So I am paying a little more attention now.

I'm back

Wow, 11 days without a post...most be torture for you. So sorry!

Okay, I am back. The last week or so has been hectic.

It started with a "tornado" that hit a neighboring town. Officially, it wasn't a tornado. It was 90 mile per hr winds. But some people did see a funnel. Anyway, most of the town was without power. (This is where I work btw). So on a Friday night we had our friend Von sleep over. Then Saturday-Sunday we had our friends Nick and Jill and their daughter, and Von, sleep over again. Oh yeah, that Saturday, I got Hanna and Hailey, so we had 9 people in the house. Then Von ended up staying until like Wednesday because he had no power for that long. Then we just had one thing after the other going on. So, I haven't been following ANYTHING. I haven't been eating poorly, but I haven't eaten like I should. And workouts weren't happening. One day I forgot my clothes, the next day Mackenzie got sick, the next day the gym was shut down, the list goes on and on.

The good news of ALL of this is that my weight is still 127. WOO-HOO. Granted, I should've been 119 by this point. But I am not. Okay, moving on. My goal is to focus on this next month. I'm now dwelling on the past. I am looking to the future. I am certain it will be filled with challenges (I know it will) but I am dedicated to making it work. In fact, I am looking forward to it.

I am going to eat Korean food today. I SHOULD get on track today, but I haven't been grocery shopping. Must do that today.

Gotta go clean the kitchen. Sorry I've been away. When you have company, it's hard to do things you normally would (like workout at home...it's just too weird to have people watching).

Topic of the Day

I was going to post the next few posts about my favorite blogs. I wanted to let all of you know about my favorites. I don't have time for that tonight, so I will get to it tomorrow.

Mackenzie was up all last night screaming. She's teething. Poor baby. I was giving her tylenol and teething tablets but nothing was helping. I got up this morning and she was still screaming so I went in to work when she stopped. I was only there for about an hour or so then I got her from daycare and went home. She's still screaming so I am afraid I will have to miss tomorrow too. Ugggg...I hate missing work, considering my position. But if Clint misses work, we lose $$ as he doesn't get leave.

So, yesterday I DID not go to the gym as I spent lunch at the post office. I HATE going to the post office but I HAD to mail off some books I sold on Amazon. So I was going after work. Didn't happen. I needed to talk to my boss about something that was due but when he came on, others started talking to him. I didn't get out of there until 5:15, then I had to go back to do something (had to get the baby). So no gym. Could've tried to work out at home but Clint had to go to bed early so he was whining that I wasn't spending time with him. Then Mackenzie was screaming, so no workout. Then of course today there was no gym time and I came home and took a nap. Yep, I slept all afternoon. Then we had (still have) company. So, no working out.

I HATE this. HATE IT HATE IT HATE IT. I am drinking my water though and I am eating okay. Tomorrow I will be back on plan and will have a kick booty time at the gym at lunch and after work (assuming Mackenzie gets better overnight...the daycare won't keep her if she's whiny). I DO have to go back to the post office, but I will just go during work hours. How about that?

That's it. Stay tuned tomorrow!

Crash and Burn

I haven't felt this bad in weeks. I've been following Tony's plan for 6 weeks. No problems. Felt great. Then this week I fell off the wagon. No, I didn't wat bad. No way. But I did have some carbs that were high on the glycemic index and that's left me feeling like shit. For some reason, I just didn't eat on cue. I ate well. (Except for the Vanilla Wafer Cakester yesterday). Today I had some veggie chili for lunch and that's left me down, down, down. It's got to be the corn. Clearly my body doesn't like anything other than broccoli, green beans, or asparagus!

I need to get back on track. I WILL be 119 by the 14th. I HAVE TO BE! That means I have to give it 150% these next two weeks. I have 14 days. That's it.

Here's to getting back on track and kicking ass!

I've been a bad bad girl..whine

Kelly recently had a fabulous post about motivation. Basically, it doesn't arrive on your doorstep via Fed Ex. It's not something you're going to find magically sitting there like ta-da, surprise, here I am. No, it's something that you make. You just need to get up and do this or that and the motivation will happen. How many times have you heard people say "I just need to get some motivation" or "I will get around to it once I find my motivation." She was right...it's not some magic pill or something that comes with your cup of coffee....

Now with that said...I NEED SOME MOTIVATION. Since the UPS guy didn't deliver it and it's not in this water concoction I am drinking, I guess I just need to press on without the motivation then it will follow.

I've had a SUCKY week. It's been my fault. My own damn fault. Nothing has kept me from the gym. Nothing has been wrong that has enabled me to workout. Let's recap.

Last week I suffered from this weird morning sickness episode. No, I am not pregnant and no it wasn't morning sickness. However, when I was preggo with #1 and #3, I experienced this. I would get nauseated in the evenings, for like 5 days in a row. Well that happened last week. I ate some oatmeal one night to see if it would settle my tummy. NOPE. It's not like oatmeal is a bad thing, but it's definitely NOT on the plan at nights. Over the weekend I ate 1/4 of a Ruben wrap. This was done on purpose. I didn't truly think my diet was the cause of the sickness considering I had been doing it for like 6 weeks now. But I wanted to rule everything out. Did that work? Nope. I took tagament and pepcid..nothing helped. I'm finally over it so I will never know. Now, that was my food blunders. I worked out on Friday then went out of town Sat and Sun. Since Mon was a holiday, I didn't go to the gym. Crap, that was 3 days of missing my workouts. I like to take a late lunch to go to the gym. Otherwise it's too crowded. Yesterday I went to tan and pay the cell bill at lunch. I wasn't going to the gym after work, but my husband told me there was golf ball size hail at home, so I decided to go. I cut out 15 minutes early AND I had a half ass workout. I just wasn't feeling it. Then I skipped the gym today. I went to Wal-Mart at lunch (didn't have to) and then I went home after work. Did I do anything at home? NO.

I missed a call from Tony today. He normally schedules the calls. The last time I talked to him he said he wanted to talk to me the next week. Crap....was this the next week? Or was last week the next week? Regardless, I thought he would have sent an e-mail setting up the call. No, he just called. And I missed it. And I didn't even call back. What???? I didn't call back???? That's how big of a funk I am in. I KNOW he is motivating. Granted, UPS didn't deliver him, but US Cellular did. Maybe I just didn't want to be motivated. Maybe I just want to be in a funk. Who the hell knows. All I know is that if I don't snap out of this, I WON'T reach my goals.

Since I am confessing, I have to tell you that I have slipped off the wagon in many areas. I HAVEN'T been drinking my gallon of water. Not even close. I *almost* have down a little over half a gallon. If you know me, you know I hate drinking liquids (and solids and gasses too). But I drank a gallon of water for a damn month straight...everyday...and then like that BOOM...I stopped. What the hell is wrong with me? Someone please slap me.

I won't be out of town this weekend. I will be home. Yeah! However, the next weekend we have to go run down to Abilene to get #1 and #2. It's just a day trip, so I have plenty of time to get in a workout. Who the hell am I kidding? I've yet to work out on the weekend and if I can't drink water, what makes me think I can get up and workout? Okay, moving on. Then the next weekend, we have to go my step-daughter. That's just a night trip (if I am lucky). Then the following weekend, we have to take BOTH sets of kids home. EEEEKKKKK. That's going to suck as that's going to take up a lot of time. If we do it in one day, we're exhausted. If we do it over two days, then I waste two days. Oh well. We'll see. After that, I should have at least two weekends before I have to do it all over again.

I've lost my train of thought. My goal is to be at 119 by June 14th. That gives me a little over two weeks. HAHAHAHA. I don't see that happening. BUT....the weight just fell off last time remember? And it did so in the end. But if this is going to happen, Shay needs to take over Sherry and kick her ass a little and whip some motivation in her. And this has to happen NOW. Okay, I am NOT going to work out at 11pm. But I will try to finish this water. And tomorrow I WILL workout twice. I will reward myself by tanning on Friday!

Mio Heart Rate Monitor with Calorie Function

Does anyone have one of these? I purchased one at the beginning of April. When I test my HR on it, then test it with the equipment at the gym, it's dead on. Anyway, I had the box laying by the front door and my husband moved it. I can't find it and the Mio website is under maintenance. So what is it that I need? I need to know how to tell how many calories I am burning. It had a function to tell you how many calories are burned, and you can input your calories after each meal and it tells you if you're getting close. When I first got it, I just got the time set. Now I need to know how to work the rest of it but I can't find the directions. HELP.

And now back to our regularly scheduled programming

Sorry about the blog detour for the past few posts. I had something to address and I did so and now it's time to move on!

I took half the day off and went to the gym when I got off. It was NICE! I love being there. I had some errands to run so I will finish up one one workout tonight. I also have to finish up my cardio.

As much as I love doing cardio at the gym, I am going to have to do it here at home. Why? Because I received 2 months FREE unlimited tanning and I have to take advantage of it before it expires on the 29th. I prefer to go to the gym during lunch for weights and cardio after work. But that doesn't leave tanning time. So I will go tan after work. That means there is no time for cardio. If there is any thing I can do at home, as far as weights go, then I will. I can work my abs here at home and do cardio at the gym. But my two trips to the gym must cease if I want to take advantage of this tanning package. I am entitled to 3 hours a week for gym time. I should take advantage of that so I could use the cardio equipment there. I might just ask for an extra 30 minutes at lunch 3 days a week instead. That way I can do weights and light cardio. I might have Clint take the baby to daycare once a week for me so I can go in early, but I doubt that will happen because A-I don't want to get up that early and B-with gas prices so high, making two trips to Altus is nuts. Guess cardio is at home!

My eating has been great (almost). Felt a little ick the past few days. I ate about 1/2 of mashed potatoes with gravy (rounding up here) and I felt so gross afterwards. Clearly my body doesn't like heavy foods anymore. Now that I can have a little more variety other than green beans, asparagus, and broccoli, meal time is better! It's not *so* boring. By no means am I complaining. It's helped me come this far. I'm just saying that chicken and green beans is gross!

I'm going to see if I can catch a brisk nap. Then it's cardio time!!!! My goal is to see 125 by Monday morning. Sunday *should* be my weigh in, but I will be out of town this weekend. I won't be cheating, but I sadly don't get in all of my water AND...I won't be able to weigh myself either. So, Monday, I WILL BE 125!!! That's only 2 lbs. It's do-able. I read a post by Melissa H and she was saying that Tony told her he wanted her to be X weight by X time but she was stuck. I was the same way. I stayed at 131 forever. Then one day it went to 129, then to 127 and now it's stuck there. So it appears that my weight comes off in chunks. I don't slowly go down. Nope. WOOSH. There it goes. So I will probably make it to 125. If this month follows last month, I am right on target. The last 2 weeks, I will lost the bulk of the weight. If I can lose another 8 lbs this month, I will be at 119. Shreek!!!! How exciting is that? Come on weight...fall off in big chunks...big chunks!

Funny

A friend asked me if my post was in reference to my husbands ex wife or my ex husbands wife. Hmmmmm...that depends...are they spying on me?

Let me say a few things about them both:

Husbands ex wife. She is NO supermodel. And neither am I. And neither is anyone else that I know. I am an administrative assistant. She is a nurse. You're probably in some other profession other than modelling. My "She's no supermodel" wasn't exactly an insult. She really isn't a supermodel. She's a nurse. As far as her looks go, she's an average person. Average. She's not ugly. She's not take your breath away gorgeous. She's normal. That's it. I am certain that some people think she's less than average and I am sure some people think she's way above average. To me, she's normal!

Was I insulting her by saying she talked fast and was hard to understand sometimes? Nope. That's not an insult. She does talk fast. Sometimes it IS hard to understand. But guess what. Sometimes I can't understand my boss or my husband or #2 when she's on the phone. I couldn't understand this kid from Wisconsin today. I can't understand some things Mackenzie says.

I think that Clint's ex wife is a great person. She may not have been the best choice for him to marry, but I'm sure she feels the same way about him. I personally am thankful that I am not married to her, but then again, I am thankful that I am not married to any woman. In all seriousness, I think we have a strange relationship. For some strange reason, I am able to get on the phone with her and talk to her for hours. Seriously. We can just talk and talk and talk about any topic at all. Now that's weird. Should I be this "close" to my husbands ex wife? I don't know? I've never had to deal with it before. I certainly don't dislike her. Would it be a stretch to say that I like her? It wouldn't be a stretch, but it would be odd to say. Am I supposed to like her? Or should I dislike her just because of who she is? I dislike her as my husbands ex, but as a person, I do like her.

Now, as for the ex husbands wife. She really is LESS of a supermodel. She's only about 5'3, and my husbands ex is like 5'10...so do you see that she would be less of a supermodel? Most supermodels aren't tall at all! Okay, to be serious. She too is average. She's not drop dead gorgeous nor is she ugly as sin. She's just normal. Clearly my ex husnabd thinks she's beautiful. And that's what counts right?

As for the sock in the mouth....I have very little communication with her. She answers the phone and then hands it to the girls. That's it. We don't talk. If I have to talk to anyone, I talk to my ex and that's a very short conversation.

So what's the purpose of this post? Well, for starters, I'm making another example. Isn't it easy to misconstrue things? My good friend thought my comment that "She's no supermodel" meant the chick was ugly or something like that. Nope. I meant it literally as in her profession isn't that. It's VERY easy to misinterpret things. I was talking about looks not professions wasn't I? But I deliberately wrote a few things in the last post for a reason. Sometimes things do get taken out of context. A few weeks ago I said that I had been with Tony for a month. Well, for those that know about Tony, you know what it means. But to the lay person, they might think that Tony was a new man in my life and we had been together for a month. (I actually had someone ask who Tony was because they thought I was married)

Why am I sharing all of this newfound insite? Recently, I have read blogs where readers have had to defend their posts. Some people read things a certain way while others read it differently. I just wanted to prove that it does happen. I had no one to prove it to. Just wanted in on the topic. I find authors having to go back and defend their posts because things were taken the wrong way. It's nuts!

Also, one blogger had some people reading her blog and she wasn't aware of it. She mentioned them in her blog. Should she have to censor what she writes because of that? So what if you don't KNOW who's reading your blog. You never know who is. But she have to hide her feelings just in case they're reading?

Now, on to my second point, that correlates with the the other. If either of the two mentioned people WERE reading my blogs, they would be doing so because they looked me up on the internet. I never, NEVER once told either of them that I had a blog. The only time I told anyone that I had a blog was when I posted it on my myspace. However, neither of them has access to my myspace. It's plausible that someone viewed my myspace and told them I had a blog. But in that case, someone was gossiping and they partook in it. Why are you discussing me? I do not care that they are reading my blog. I don't care who reads it. It's public. Go google my name and you will find this blog. What WOULD bother me though is that if they WERE reading it, how did they come across it? Because you were gossiping about me or because you looked me up on the internet. Also, WHY would you want to check up on me? Are you searching for information? Are you waiting for me to reveal that I won the lottery so that you can get more child support? Are you wanting me to say that I bought my daughters an alligator so that you can report it to my ex husband so he can throw a fit? Are you waiting for me to say that Mackenzie is Clint's favorite so you can tell your child that her dad doesn't like her? What could you possibly want besides finding friviolous information? Do you just want to know what's going on in my world like everyone else. I highly doubt it. And....Trust me, if it's something that I don't want you to hear, I won't post it here. I don't care if you're reading it or not. If I think there's a chance that it would get back to you, I wouldn't dare post it. But that's not just directed to the ex or the ex's current, it's for everyone. If I don't want it to get out, I'm definitely not going to post it here. I mean, come on, I am NOT going to post certain things like my financial situation, certain details of my job, detailed information about my children, etc. You may get tidbits. Ex: I might say that I bought an Elliptical and you might think I won the lottery....but it may turn out that I am just as freaking broke as I was yesterday but my mother bought it for me because she wanted to make up for certain events that she missed out on. I might leave out those details because it's kind of private. I might tell you that it was #1's birthday or that my step-daughter was sick, but I'm not going to tell you all about their lives. The people that are close to me know what's going on in my life. But I'm not going to post intimate details on this blog. So, if you are the ex wife or the current wife, you're not going to find anything of interest to you. You may think that you found something of value to you, but I guarantee you, it's really of no use.

Now....a third point.....And this correlates to stalkers, spyers, and anonymous readers. What if the people I mentioned are reading my blog? What if I wrote something nasty about both of them everyday? I'm sure that would make them irate. But do you think they would say anything to me? Do you think I would get a phone call or e-mail asking me to stop talking about them? Nope. Why not? Because they don't want me to know that they're checking up on me. It's like people that leave nasty comments. 99% of the time they're cowards that post those things as an anonymous person. Why? Because they're too scared to face confrontation. If you know who they are, then you may something. Or everyone will see just how ugly this person really is. So they try to hide. I don't think that the ex wife or the ex's wife is afraid of confrontation, I just think that don't want me to know that they are in essence, spying on me.

I will say this: I already know if they are/are not reading this blog. I KNOW. Perhaps I wrote this to taunt them or perhaps it's just part of the lesson. Maybe I just used them as an example because it seemed like a good idea at the time. Why did I mention Jimi Hendrix? Or maybe I did this to basically call them out to say HEY, I KNOW YOU ARE READING MY BLOG.

Either way, the topic is now dead. If they want to read my blog, go for it. I just explained that nothing said about them was written in a negative or malicious way. It was to prove a point and the point was that people can misconstrue things and sometimes things aren't as they seem. Some people don't know what's true or not. What you may think you know, may not be that at all. Keep reading my blogs. That's fine. It's open to the public. Whether you're an ex husbands wife, a husbands ex wife, and ex boyfriends wife or whomever, keep reading. I am thrilled that you think my life is that great that you want to keep on reading. Just remember, aside from the few posts that go astray (that's the little happenings along the way), this blog is about my journey to lose weight. It's about me working my booty off nearly everyday. It's about me eating the same boring things everyday. It's about sharing motivation with others. However, it is NOT a place for you to gather information. Why not? Because it's just not there. Read my blogs. Get upset. If it really bothers you, confront me. If you don't have the spine to do it, then stop reading if you don't like the message! And if you really want to know something, just ask. It's a lot less time consuming than having to search this thing over for information.

The end.

Oh, and for those of you that are REALLY close to me....shoot me an e-mail and I will explain the riddle to you. I will tell you about what's actually going on! This might not have a darn thing to do with the ex wife or the ex's wife.

The answers you all have been waiting for

I'm about to come across some $$ so I can get a boob job. Well I do play the lottery every once in a while

I lost 8 lbs in a month. Sure did

I'm one of Tony's clients. Yep

I love Jimi Hendrix. Yep

I think my husbands ex wife is ugly. No, she's not ugly. But she's no supermodel.

I think my ex husbands wife is ugly. She's less of a supermodel.

I think my husbands ex wife talks like she has a sock in her mouth. No, but she does talk fast and is hard to understand sometimes.

I wish my ex husbands wife would stick a sock in her mouth Nah. I don't talk to her so a sock wouldn't matter.

I wish my husbands wife had some clean socks. I do need to wash laundry.

I think really thin girls are gross. Yes. To each her own, but I don't find it attractive. And neither do most people I know.

I think really thin guys are gross. Yes

I love cycling. No

I did run in the OKC marathon. Nope

I know a guy that ran 168 miles for the 168 victims of the OKC marathon. Yes! Brendan Brustad. He's so inspiring.

I am allergic to bananas. No, just cats.

My 3 best friends names starts with a K. Yes

One person I hate has a name that starts with a K. Yes

I drink a gallon of water a day. I try to

I met Kelly O from an Atkins message group. Yep

Mrs. F was the reason I started my blog. Yep

Tina is the reason I hired Tony. Yes indeed

I think figure competitors are nuts. Nope

I think women with big weddings are nuts. YES

I think I made a cake without nuts. I sure did. And I didn't even eat any of it.

I'm glad I don't have any sons. True

I gave birth to 3 daughters. Sure did

Out of all of my readers, I've known my friend Tiffany the longest. Yes

I use to date Tiffany's brother. True

I am married to Tiffany's brother. Yes. My husbands step sister is named Tiffany

I've owned 3 Mustangs. Correct

I eat chicken and green beans almost every day. I did for a month

I love the name Blish. Absolutely. I wish I had heard it prior to naming Mackenzie.

I want another daughter. OH NO

I love being pregnant. Yeah...like a fat kid hates cake

I love nosey people who read blogs just to try to get information. Of course. NOT. Will address that in a bit.

There are five blogs that I must read everyday. False. There are about 8.



Okay, so what was the purpose of that? Well, I don't know that there was a purpose. But I will say this. I am well aware that there are some readers out there who read this to be nosey, in hopes of gaining some VERY useful information. With that in mind, I will never say anything that I don't mind the whole world knowing. Then again, every now and again, I just might throw them something interesting to see if I can get a reaction. Childish...yes...I know. But then again, spying on me is quite juvenile too. It's one thing to read a person's blog to see what they're up to...it's a totally different animal when you either A-read it in order to try to gain some information that you might find useful or B-read it in order to report my life back to others--aka--gossiping!



Anyway, happy reading! All are welcome. Even the spys!

Part two...fact or fiction

Do you ever wonder if what you're reading is fact or fiction? Unless we're actually friends, you probably don't know if what I am saying is truth or a lie. And the same goes back to you--I don't know if it's real or fake. I'm not saying that everything I say isn't real and I'm not saying it is. You be the judge:

True or false:
I'm about to come across some $$ so I can get a boob job
I lost 8 lbs in a month
I'm one of Tony's clients
I love Jimi Hendrix
I think my husbands ex wife is ugly
I think my ex husbands wife is ugly
I think my husbands ex wife talks like she has a sock in her mouth
I wish my ex husbands wife would stick a sock in her mouth
I wish my husbands wife had some clean socks
I think really thin girls are gross
I think really thin guys are gross
I love cycling
I did run in the OKC marathon
I know a guy that ran 168 miles for the 168 victims of the OKC marathon
I am allergic to bananas
My 3 best friends names starts with a K
One person I hate has a name that starts with a K
I drink a gallon of water a day
I met Kelly O from an Atkins message group
Mrs. F was the reason I started my blog
Tina is the reason I hired Tony
I think figure competitors are nuts
I think women with big weddings are nuts
I think I made a cake without nuts
I'm glad I don't have any sons
I gave birth to 3 daughters
Out of all of my readers, I've known my friend Tiffany the longest
I use to date Tiffany's brother
I am married to Tiffany's brother
I've owned 3 Mustangs
I eat chicken and green beans almost every day
I love the name Blish
I want another daughter
I love being pregnant
I love nosey people who read blogs just to try to get information
There are five blogs that I must read everyday

Okay...that's enough trivia for today. Some may be true. Some may be false. Let's see how well you know me....Until tomorrow!

Greetings and salutations

Happy Monday!

I hate Mondays. Especially after they follow icky weekends. Clint and I went 3 hrs away to see his daughter this weekend. The poor thing got sick Sunday morning. Although she only threw up twice, she must've gotten worse when she went home as her mom took her to the hospital. They're not sure if she ate something bad or just had a tummy bug. It's no fun when kids are sick. Crossing fingers that none of us catch it here.

Workouts have been nonexistent since Friday. Saturday, in spite of setting my alarm for 5, I didn't get up to workout. I didn't even get in cardio. Then last night I was set to workout, and I did about 10 minutes of cardio, but I didn't do anymore. I began to pick things up because Clint's dad came in to town. Then today I didn't go to the gym because I had to go somewhere on my lunch hour and then Clint's dad is here (already mentioned that) so I came straight home after work so we could spend time with him.

Sounds like a load of excuses. Although they're "acceptable" excuses, they're still that. I COULD have gotten up early on Saturday. I COULD have done cardio while I was at my in-laws home. I COULD have went to the gym today. And I CAN workout here at home tonight. Granted, the heaviest weight I have is 15 lbs and I could really use heavier weights. But I CAN workout.

On an off topic here. Do you ever wonder who reads your blogs? If you know you have a certain readership, should you say things to address them? Ex: "Oh, Kelly O is the most kick booty chick! Her arms are to die for. I wish I had her stamina to work out like she does" What if you KNOW that someone reads your blog but maybe they're reading in secret. Should you say something then? Ex: "Oh Clint is the greatest guy I know. I am so thankful that we're together and I am certain he feels the same. He's so supportive of my workouts and I love him for that" But what if you're not exactly best friends with the readers? Should you or would you say things just to taunt them? Ex: "Clint's ex wife Leasha is a tall thin girl. Some people would love to be thin, but I think that pencil legs are out and muscles are in. And my husband personally thinks that tall girls are ridiculous. Surely she doesn't think she's hot." OR.....what if nosey people are reading your blogs just to report your life back to others. Would you put something frivolous on there just to see if it would get around. Example: "I haven't really been losing weight. I've been lying to all of you. I'm really four month pregnant--with twins." Do any of you write things just for your readers? Just wondering.

I'm off to make dinner. Maybe there will be more to follow!

8 lbs

I lost 8 lbs in a month. How bout that?

Dear Readers

I wanted to send a little message to a few of my favorite blog owners and those that read my blog. I never comment on the comments, so here goes. **This is no particular order**

Evelyne-You rock! I'm glad you got to join a gym and are loving those workouts. Yesterday this man was staring at me. He always stares as me, as does his son. Ironically, we go to the gym at the same time and do the same body parts that day. Anyway, I finally said hi and he informed my my form was wrong. Ugggg....He told me to get the Arnold Bible. I think he's just scared of a woman in his weight room. Anyway, keep on kicking butt and thanks for your encouraging remarks.

Tina-You rock too. You're gorgeous and you've come a long way. I'm sorry the comp wasn't all you had hoped for, but the next one will be even better! I better not tell my husband about the Harley pics because you will be his next pretend girlfriend as he will love you forever. He loves A-beautiful women B-Half naked beautiful women and C-Harleys!! I'm so proud of your accomplishments! And thanks so much for inspiring me!

Kelly-You know you rock. I think I tell you that on a daily basis. Remember the paper towel theory. You and I just need to get it unrolling! Of course, as much as you're kicking butt with your workouts, you will see results soon! I'm so grateful that I have you in my life to help keep me on track. Without you, I would be a cow!

Tiffany-You rock too. Yes you do! I can barely do a 5 incline on the treadmill and every time I attempt to, I think about you walking at the highest setting for months. I began this journey trying to inspire and motivate you. You're the one that is motivating! Pretty soon, you will be thinner than your SIL. HEHEHEHEHEHEHE.

Laurie-Are you still alive? I think you rock as well. I just hope you'll pop in soon.

KatieF-Are you alive too? I have some pics from when my (ex) husband went to work in Santa Clara. He went to San Francisco and took pics of seals or sea lions or whatever they are. How's the running going? I'm definitely in awe. As much as I WANT to run, I actually hate it. I thought I could get use to it, but I can't. I've taken to the elliptical, a piece of equipment I previously despised. Oh yeah, you definitely rock with these other gals.

Laura-I think you're having another girl. Just my feelings. Hope the next scan works with the baby's temperament and allows you to see that I am right and she is a girl! Also, I definitely think Mackenzie is a good name. I would love to see preggo pics on your blog! Oh, and you guessed it. I think you are awesome. Ha--you thought I was going to tell you that you rock!

That's all for now. I know I have more readers. Some of you are "secret" readers so I can't personally leave you a message.

Oh wait..one more...

Amanda-Every time I read your blog and read about migraines, I get one. I'm dead serious. Look, my head is hurting now. I wish you didn't have to deal with that. How's the new job? I can totally understand the tiredness. All I want to do is sit around and my house is suffering! But, I think that you're doing a great job and of course you rock!