Thursday, March 13, 2008

I FINALLY have something to work for!

I can't very well start out by telling you what it is that I have to work for. I must keep you suspense and make you read my blog. More importantly, there's some history you need to know.

I've ALWAYS had boobs. Always. I was in 6th grade and had 36D/34DD's. My boobs got bigger with pregnancy and breastfeeding then went back down to size. I've gained weight and lost weight but always ended up with my D's. Well, when I lost weight in 2004/2005, my boos shrunk. I was wearing a 26C/34D. Gasp. I got pregnant with #3 and they came back to life. But they seem smaller than they were. I can't fit in my 34D bras, but the 36D's don't seem right. Also, I have some major sagging happening. I can't say my boobs would ever poke your eyes out, but they weren't *this* bad.

Now let's talk tummy. This is where I store my fat. After gaining 50+ lbs with #1, I was left with stretch marks, loose skin, and some fat. It got a little worse with #2, but you really couldn't get much worse. UNLESS....your appendix ruptures and the dr. leaves a 4 inch CROOKED scar vertically down your tummy. This makes things worse. I had a consult with a plastic surgeon in 2005 but decided not to get it done because I was about to be out on my own (divorced) and needed to pay bills over the tummy tuck. That must've been meant to be b/c later I got preggo with #2 and my appendix ruptured so that would've messed up the belly.

I'm expecting some $$ later this year. Clint and I discussed it and he wants me to go ahead and get the boob job and tummy tuck. The only way for me to get rid of the skin and fat is a tummy tuck. Sure, I can shrink the fat cells, but I will still have quite a bit of fat and the loose skin. A tummy tuck will eliminate the vertical scar. Sure, I will have a bigger horizontal scar, but that can be hidden. I can actually wear a bikini!!! And I want my boobs A-perky and B-Bigger. I was really surprised that he suggested it. HE says he's fine with the way I look and he previously thought it was a waste of money. But he sees how hard I am working and how much I want to better myself, so now he fully supports it.

I am shooting for August/September time frame. What I am going to dos is to finish my BFL 12 week challenge. That will be over the end of May. Then I am going to hire a trainer for 3 months to get me in the best condition I can be in. If I won the lottery today, there is no way I would go have it done today. NO WAY. I still have 15 lbs to lose. I'm not going to blow $$ like that. I am going to get all the weight off and do as much as I can to have my body looking good. The surgery will be the finishing touches. I'm so excited. This makes me want to work 2X as hard to make sure my goals are met.

There's always the chance that this won't happen in August/Sept. I should know something by then. If things don't go my way and I find out before then, I'm not going to abandon my efforts and give up. I'm going to press on and keep going. Why? Because the tummy tuck/boob job is going to happen within this next year. One way or another! And if it does go the way I am hoping for and I find out before August, I am still going to wait until then. Again, I want to give myself enough time to get my body where it needs to be.

That's all I have. I'm stoked about this. I don't think I could be any happier. I'm glad I have something to look forward to. Working hard has a purpose for me now. Sure, the purpose before was to have a nice body, but I would never have the body I want without the surgery. What good is working hard, getting ready for the summer, if you can't truly wear a bikini?


Amanda said...

That is great news!!! I don't know if you remember...back in December of 2006 I had a breast reduction. I really wish I would have lost weight before I got it done, because then I would have been more willing to show it off. But still it was the best thing I could have done!!! Before the surgery I was a 36E now with the weight gain I have had over the past year I am a 38D. Luckily the AF paid for my surgery!!! But know I wish I could loss the extra weight I gained so that I could show off how great my boobs look!! My biggest concern before the surgery was scaring, right after it was done the scares were pretty bad. But now a year and couple months after the surgery the scares are barely noticeable. Good luck with everything, I hope it works out for you!!!

Laurie said...

D's in the 6th grade!?!?!? I was jealous of everyone who had a bra - you would have been my idol. Don't even get me started on loose skin . . .